Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath
by qbsmd
Summary: Second-year sequel to Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, where Harry deals with the aftermath of the previous year as well as new difficulties.
1. Secrets

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 1: Secrets

 _"Wands or no wands, everything doesn't magically reset to the way it used to be just because the good guys win. That only happens in stories. In the real world, people experience traumas that may never fully heal and have to live with consequences."_

* * *

Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres is a genius and a wizard. His parents, James Potter and Lily Potter (formerly Evans), were killed by Wizard-Satan-Hitler, after which he was raised by his non-magical aunt, Petunia Evans-Verres, and her husband, Oxford Professor of Biochemistry Michael Verres-Evans. As you might expect, Harry had difficulties growing up in the muggle world, resulting in homeschooling and remaining largely isolated from others his age.

This ended when he learned he was a wizard and went off to a magical school. Along the way, he met a witch named Hermione who is brilliant, has a near-perfect memory and enjoys reading as much as Harry, allowing her to keep up with him and stay interesting. He also met a professor who was the first person who understood him and who seemed sane, quickly becoming Harry's mentor.

Unfortunately, this professor turned out to be possessed by Voldemort, the aforementioned omnicidal maniac. Voldemort had Hermione killed but instantly regretted it due to a prophecy that implied, as a result of that action, Harry had grown into someone who would end the world. So Voldemort obtained a powerful magical artifact and used it to revive Hermione (now with extra super-powers), but also locked Dumbledore in a magic mirror and recalled his minions, threatening Britain with an unprecedented reign of terror unless Harry submitted to an unbreakable vow to protect the world and surrendered all of his secrets.

So Harry had to kill them all, except for Voldemort, who was obliviated and transfigured into a gem on a ring. But Harry couldn't avoid the vow.

 _"You will swear, Harry Potter, not to destroy the world, to take no risks when it comes to not destroying the world. This Vow may_ not _force you into any positive action, on account of that, this Vow does not force your hand to any stupidity._

 _"We are dealing with a prophecy of destruction. A_ prophecy! _They can fulfill themselves in twisted ways. We must be cautious that this Vow itself does not bring that prophecy about. We dare not let this Vow force Harry Potter to stand idly after some disaster is already set in motion by his hand, because he must take some lesser risk if he tries to stop it. Nor must the Vow force him to choose a risk of truly vast destruction, over a certainty of lesser destruction. But all Harry Potter's_ foolishness _", Voldemort's voice climbed, "all his_ recklessness, _all his_ grandiose schemes _and_ good intentions- _he shall not risk them leading to disaster! He shall not gamble with the Earth's fate! No researches that might lead to catastrophe! No unbinding of seals, no opening of gates!" Voldemort's voice lowered again. "Unless this very Vow itself is somehow leading into the destruction of the world, in which case, Harry Potter, you must ignore it in that particular regard. You will_ not _trust yourself alone in making such a determination, you must confide honestly and fully in your trusted friend, and see if that one agrees. Such is this Vow's meaning and intent._

 _"If you can think of any trick that I have missed in being sure that Harry Potter's threat is ended, speak now and I shall reward you handsomely... speak now, in Merlin's name!"_

 _There was stunned silence amid the cemetery; no one made to speak._

 _"Useless, the lot of you."_

Harry awoke, sweating, shaking, and trying to fight off his sheets before fully regaining consciousness.

It wasn't the threats of injury or death that brought the nightmares. It wasn't the threats against those he cared for or the knowledge that he'd had to kill human beings. It was Voldemort's request for ideas. It implied that Voldemort hadn't been absolutely, mathematically sure that he could save the world from Harry. That the vow may have loopholes through which Harry may end the world, or even be forced to end the world.

Harry glanced at his watch, 5AM. He wouldn't be getting back to sleep tonight... this morning. No matter, he had enough things on his to-do list; having a few extra hours was always a good thing.

* * *

Auror Alastor Moody, known to his friends and enemies as Mad-Eye, was in maximum stealth mode. Disillusioned and under an invisibility cloak, he continuously watched for anyone approaching. He had encountered a few individuals and each time wordlessly confunded them with a 15-minute command to stay well away from his destination. He was becoming concerned that some Hypothetical Dark Wizard Genius would deduce his location by watching the people moving away, or even from the general lack of people in his vicinity, when he finally reached the correct room. He scanned inside the room for traps, weapons, or any hidden magic. This took longer than normal due to the amount of magic in use in the room, which could have been used to mask something more sinister. Eventually satisfied, he slowly opened the door and entered. He closed the door and cast a locking charm on it, followed by a series of privacy charms on the room, and checks for polyjuice, metamorph magic, illusions, and muggle disguises on the occupant.

That individual sat up from his hospital bed and looked around, "Who's there?"

"Who I am is unimportant", Mad-Eye answered (using a voice-changing charm with a ventriloquism charm to sound like an old man, standing near the head of the bed), "What is more interesting is what I can offer you, doctor."

"Well, you may have noticed that you have a somewhat captive audience. You may as well say whatever you've come to say."

"My sources inform me that you were one of the preeminent magical healers in Britain. That you worked here at St. Mungo's for over a century and a half and are known for inventing several healing potions. Basically, you've devoted your life to helping the sick and injured, and I'm offering you a way to continue to do that."

"Your information is correct, as far as it goes. You realize I'm dying? That's something that happens when one is nearly 200 years old. So I can only conclude that whatever you're offering is incredibly dark and dangerous."

Moody chuckled quietly, "I've been assured that it's not at all dark, though I still have my suspicions. Although some things have to happen that probably should be considered dark: if you accept you'll be asked to take an unbreakable vow and probably sacrifice some magic binding vows for others, and if you decline I'll obliviate you."

"If you're going to obliviate me anyway, why don't you at least give me some damn details? At least tell me who you're working for: Department of Mysteries? Some rising dark wizard?"

"Someone may be listening, some people can beat obliviation, and that information is need-to-know. Constant vigilance!"

"But you- Auror Moody?!"

Moody cursed while pulling back the hood of the cloak. The retired doctor visibly relaxed. "From your reputation, you're the last person who would work for some evil bastard doing evil bastard stuff. You really believe I can help do something good with what's left of my life?" Moody nodded. "What do you want me to do?"

Moody handed him a potion, "Drink this pepper-up and sign yourself out of this hospital then I'll apparate you to meet your new boss."

* * *

Draco tripped as he accidentally discovered the third safe.

To be fair, he hadn't really been paying attention to where he was walking; he'd been understandably preoccupied by worries about his future. Of course he was glad to have his mother back, but only a Gryffindor like McGonagall would think being reunited with a woman he could barely remember (and who couldn't completely hide her bitterness about a decade having been stolen from her) would be a storybook happy ending. She had no idea how to run a noble house or how to be a parent, not like his father did, and it showed. Aurors had raided Malfoy Manor after that night, allegedly to investigate the new evidence that Lucius was a death eater, but really to confiscate money for the Victims of Voldemort Compensation Fund. And to search for illegal items to justify further searching and confiscation.

They had located and opened the first safe, in the Manor's office, within moments after arriving. It had contained a few family heirlooms and several financial documents, mostly Gringotts transaction records and statements about his part-ownership in companies such as The Daily Prophet, Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Nimbus Sporting Brooms, and several muggle companies (evidently he had diversified quickly after learning about the muggle economy from Harry). The aurors, clearly disappointed, continued tearing apart the manor until eventually finding the second safe, hidden in the fireplace where it would be masked by the floo charms. The second safe had contained information about individuals who owed Lucius money, accounts kept outside of magical Britain and, strangely enough, a rolled up flying carpet. Draco had been confused at the time, but now realized that this was intended to satisfy any investigating aurors, without seriously inconveniencing Lucius. The aurors had to work to find it, found information that was secret, but that they couldn't exploit, and an illegal item that was ultimately of no consequence. And this plan had worked flawlessly.

But despite everything, Draco had mostly been distracted thinking about Harry Potter. His thoughts kept returning to Harry, for no reason he could fathom. He was becoming convinced that Harry would renege on his promises regarding Draco's political future now that his father was dead, much of the Malfoy fortune was gone, and Harry's best friend became a worldwide celebrity-hero who clearly had new abilities she was trying to keep hidden. Instead of leading magical Britain, now Draco would be lucky to form an alliance with Longbottom to tie for the third slot in the inevitable Potter government. Harry and Hermione were apparently even getting private tutoring from Hogwarts professors over the summer so they could take their OWLs early and claim their Wizengamot seats. They hadn't even asked Draco if he had been interested in working with them, despite Draco being similarly positioned to represent the House of Malfoy. Draco had to do something drastic to regain his importance quickly. And more importantly, Draco was sure Harry was somehow responsible for Hermione's resurrection, which would have been a happy event except for Harry's solemnly expressed regrets about Draco losing his father. The power to raise the dead so close by and a 'sorry about your dad'? From a Slytherin, it would have been a deliberate insult. But from Harry, one could never tell...

So Draco was absent-mindedly playing with his father's cane and repeating this same circle of thoughts when the staircase he was descending slid open in a direction that made Draco's head hurt to think about and he barely stopped himself from taking a very inelegant tumble into the dimly lit basement.

No, not a basement, more like a dungeon. There was a single hallway with doors lining both sides. The doors looked heavy, and each had a small, barred window. Like prison cells. Draco decided it would be best not to try to look into any of them at the moment. Anyway, the room at the end of the hallway looked far more interesting.

Pushing the door open, Draco's jaw dropped. The spatially-folded room was full of ... everything. Some artifacts Draco recognized, like an invisibility cloak or Dragonhide armor, a large array of wands and spelled objects, large and small ward anchors, and what he was suspected were highly illegal ward-breaking tools. Some artifacts Draco couldn't begin to identify.

Thinking about Harry once again, Draco's attention shifted to the bookshelf. Herpo the Foul? There was a scroll written by Herpo the Foul. Draco picked it up and began scanning it. Basilisks... but there was no silliness here about chickens or toads; this was more reminiscent of Harry's description of what muggles knew about blood mixed with what looked like advanced arithmancy. Draco replaced the scroll and continued browsing. There was a book Draco recognized, describing relatively dark spells, like Gom Jabbar and Horrid Wilting, which was banned in many countries, and which the ministry had tried, unsuccessfully, to ban in Britain. Other books, which most certainly were banned, apparently contained instructions on topics such as making an inferius, or describing the finer points of using the cruciatus or imperius curses for different goals. And then... a blank diary? Who the hell was Tom Marvolo Riddle, and why had father kept his apparently unused diary?

* * *

Harry and Hermione stepped off the geometry-defying staircase to the headmistresses' office. "I know what you mean. I wouldn't trade places with anyone, but it's still a lot to shoulder. I mean, we're only human", Harry concluded.

"Speak for yourself", Hermione retorted.

They were interrupted by a raving gray-haired portrait, "The end approaches. Everything will burn! But not with fire, burnt into ice."

"What."

"That's the portrait of former headmaster Amrose-Swott", Hermione lectured. "He was confunded when the portrait was created, but no one noticed until it was too late. Probably because divination was one of his main interests so people expected bizarre outbursts from him. I think Dumbledore usually kept a silencing charm on it."

Harry nodded. He had previously wished that portraits retained consciousness because making portraits would've been a quick method to preserve everyone, but it was better for Swott that he not experience this. Harry could imagine few things worse than being trapped forever in such a lobotomized state.

The office door was ajar and as they approached an argument became audible. "I'm the headmistress of Hogwarts, Alastor. That's just not acceptable."

"You always say that, and you always pay for it. You got lucky with Monroe. What are the odds this year won't blow up in your face."

Harry pushed the door open, smirking at McGonagall and Moody's ongoing disagreement. "So who's too suspicious to teach Battle Magic this time?"

"Gilderoy Lockhart. Though I still have trouble reconciling his school history with his current list of accomplishments, the fact remains that he is clearly qualified and, for reasons I can't fathom, interested in the job", McGonagall answered.

Harry sighed. "Okay, Mad-Eye, you investigated him, what did you find?"

"We checked him for possession, imperius, legilimency, or any signs of recent dark magic and came up empty. That was good enough for Dumbledore; it ruled him out as a Voldemort host. But I was still suspicious so later on I interviewed people who witnessed his expeditions. They showed no trace of deception nor magical influence like obliviation, memory charms, legilimency, or confundus charms. They all confirmed that Lockhart's books, while disgustingly sensationalized, basically described things that really happened. I finally followed him on one of his field trips to see for myself and didn't see anything suspicious. His pattern is to find local qualified people who are hunting something dangerous, offer to help them out in exchange for things like interviews or monster hunting lessons. Sometimes, they trip or make a mistake and Lockhart is somehow able to save everyone and defeat the monster of the week. I don't think he's qualified to stun gnomes unsupervised, but he falls ass-backwards into doing something heroic often enough to keep writing his books. And he pays the people who helped him enough of the royalties to keep them from bad-mouthing him in public."

"Which knocks him down from being too-good-to-be-true to merely being the most qualified candidate to apply", McGonagall answered.

"I don't mind if you hire him, just so long as you fire him quickly."

"On what grounds?", she replied, exasperated.

"Because he'd be the defense professor."

"I thought if we consulted you on the next defense professor that you'd stop recommending that we fire that individual."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Minerva."

Before McGonagall could form a response, the floo caught fire and Bones stepped out and sat down at the table. Before she could speak, Moody gestured at McGonagall, "Can you believe she's going to hire Lockhart to teach Defense?"

"As opposed to whom? I believe you stated that you'd prefer _my job_ to defense professor. I don't imagine there are many applicants", Bones answered.

"How about canceling the class? That would end the curse."

Bones appeared to be almost offended by this. "Hogwarts graduates going into auror training already need a ridiculous amount of remedial training. Let's not make that problem worse. I'm pretty sure that was Voldemort's goal with the curse."

"No, that can't be right", Harry added. "I'm not going to get into details, but the whole 'Voldemort' persona and the death-eaters were originally just intended to form public opinion as part of his longer-term plan. Sabotaging magical self-defense training would've been counter to that plan."

Everyone silently stared at Harry for a moment. Moody spoke first, "How the hell do you know Voldemort had a larger plan? Or find out what it was?"

Bones replied, "I'm not sure we want the answer to that. But what exactly was his plan?"

"In a sentence, to start a war between wizards and muggles and ensure wizards would win. Any action by Voldemort that would make wizards less able to defend themselves is confusing. Changing the subject, anything worth reporting about magical Britain politics?"

Bones looked down at the table and spoke quickly, "The Wizengamot isn't taking any actions to move prisoners out of Azkaban. I'll keep working on it, but they are unlikely to approve funding to pay another country to house prisoners or to build something new when Britain already has a working prison." She looked up and added, "Moody, how's progress on the maximum-security hospital?"

"Well, we've got some early recruits on board, and I've had some warding specialists do preliminary surveys of the site. The three independent groups I approached gave me similar results, and I didn't detect them conspiring with each other, so I'm provisionally accepting their report as true. Basically, Hogwarts' wards are among the strongest in the world in some areas, but they're a mess made from generations of people trying to improve them with no known documentation or top-down planning. It's going to take a long black-box testing process for anyone to learn enough to set up the warding we need without the existing wards... reacting badly. It's probably worth thinking about starting from scratch somewhere else, but then you won't have Slytherin's anti-apparition ward or Gryffindor and Ravenclaw's shielding spell. The anti-apparition ward is considered more unbreakable than Azkaban's, and no one alive knows how to cast that one either. And with the shield activated, Hogwarts is more impenetrable than anything short of the Wizengamot chamber or maybe the Department of Mysteries. I suspect you want to use those charms, despite the complications."

"Exactly what can the shield do?" Harry did a quick Fermi calculation, 100 megatons is about 4 Peta-joules. if fiendfyre produced the power equivalent of several plasma torches, that'd be about 40kW, so eleven zeros difference... "Could it hold off a hundred thousand wizards casting fiendfyre for a week and a half?"

"I don't think anyone's asked me a question like that before", Moody nodded approvingly. "From what I remember, the numbers were easily high enough to handle anything I would've anticipated, but I'll have to check on that."

Bones frowned, "You realize there aren't that many wizards who can cast that spell?"

"There are ways to generate that much fire in less than a second. If anyone uses them against us, we've probably already lost the fight that matters, but it's still good to know what defenses we have available. Anyway, first we need a list of the critical wards, and to find out if those can't be implemented here. Otherwise, we'll have to find an alternate site."

"So obviously, you need to control access, by apparition, portkeys, and approach on foot or by broom", Moody began.

"Or a phoenix", Harry added. "And with the guards, that should be sufficient to deflect most efforts to directly break in. Unless it's an especially powerful dark wizard or an actual army. Let's step back a second; who do we need to defend against? Obviously dark wizards and their followers, and also independent thieves, organized crime, foreign armies..."

Moody replied, "Other countries would send spies before armies. Also, we need to consider non-humans; I'd bet that the goblins attack when they realize we're making gold, and there's been chatter from the centaurs about attacking the hospital even though no one could've leaked the plans for one."

"Okay, then we need to think about what those groups can do and what countermeasures we should use. Obviously, any of them could try a brute force approach, so we're controlling access and using guards. Spies or organized crime could try to send one of their people to a legitimate meeting using polyjuice or fake IDs. Dark wizards are probably more likely to imperius or legilimize people to do the work for them. And any of them could bring muggle weapons to try to bypass magical scans, or send magical creatures to try to beat defenses designed for humans."

"Yeah, that's mostly standard security. Blocking unauthorized transportation, thieves' downfall, and guards to stop anyone who tries anything. Scans for imperius or legilimency are more difficult to implement, but doable. I've seen dark wizards use magical creatures to create a distraction, but that's rare because spelled objects are usually more effective. Scans for magical objects are pretty standard for high security arrangements.

"For the hospital, we can make things a lot simpler than normal: just stun everyone who comes in and take any magical or muggle objects off them. Guards attack anyone walking around who isn't supposed to be there. Then you don't have to worry about polyjuice, imperius, hidden weapons, etc. on the patients."

Harry nodded, "Agreed. And the staff will take unbreakable vows, so that's nominally everything. Now we can start working on the details: how could someone break in despite the wards? How could someone defeat the stunner or smuggle something in undetected? What are the doctors and guards vulnerable to? What exactly happens if someone imperios someone who's taken an unbreakable vow and tries to force them to break the vow?"

"Not sure, I'll have to look into that. And most of those details will depend on the ward scheme we can get."

"I wish Dumbledore were here", McGonagall said. "He would know exactly how to handle the wards. I think he and Flamel did all the work you're talking about decades ago. And it may have taken them years to finish."

"We've been looking for information about the mirror", Hermione began. "But there's nothing. A few contradictory stories about its origin and abilities but nothing reliable. And absolutely nothing about how to use it."

Harry lowered his head into his hands, "No one wants to say it but we know what we need to do to get Dumbledore out."

"No", Moody said authoritatively, staring directly at Harry.

"I don't know. What do you mean?" McGonagall asked.

"I don't know, but I have a feeling I'll be siding with Alastor", Bones added.

Hermione turned to Harry, who was staring back at Moody while spinning the ring around his finger. "What... oh. NO!"

"Voldemort is the only one besides Dumbledore and Flamel who knew enough about the mirror to use it. I obliviated him, but I think that would've only affected his episodic memory, not his semantic memory. If we wake him, heal his transfiguration sickness, and give him a large dose of anti-depressants, he may be happy to help. And he won't have hands or wands. We can set up lots of precautions, like scanning him for additional magical objects and having dozens of guards ready to stun him if he does anything unexpected."

"NO!" shouted everyone else.

"Fine, I won't try it when you think it's a bad idea. But I'm still going to try to convince you it's necessary and can be done safely. And I expect you all to come up with viable alternatives. The last thing I wanted to say today is that Hogwarts needs to quietly start acquiring lots of unicorns. By 'lots' I mean just short of newsworthy. And look for someone who has experience with unicorn breeding to add to the staff. Again, as quietly as possible."

"Why?" asked McGonagall and Hermione.

"When the hospital opens, at first we can tell people that it's an experimental ritual with significant risks, so only people with no other options should go there. But once people will notice that it works and has a decent safety record, that won't be enough. Everyone will want the secret for themselves. We can say that it's a ritual that must only be spoken of with those who can cast it, and that will be enough to stop most wizards from asking questions. We can let it leak that it depends on part of the ancient Hogwarts wards, and therefore can't be performed elsewhere, but anyone undeterred by dangerous rituals will see through that.

"The most effective lie isn't something you tell people, it's something you let them figure out for themselves. If they think they've deduced one of your secrets, they'll more likely believe it without applying the suspicion they would apply to things others tell them. They'll probably figure out that the doctors have taken unbreakable vows not to disclose their methods. They'll see that Hogwarts obtained a large herd of unicorns just before the hospital opened. They'll know that unicorn blood can keep someone alive regardless of their condition. And therefore, they'll conclude that the hospital is using a potion or ritual based around unicorn blood. Anyone who wants the healing ability for themselves will likely start obtaining unicorns for their own research and researching everything our doctors have written. They'll have no reason at all to believe there will be anything in the hospital that can help them; no one would go to the trouble of making the doctors take vows and then leaving instructions laying around where someone could steal them."

"We'll have to regularly scan for espionage devices, though. The easiest attack on that setup would be to record and watch the procedure", Moody corrected.

"I think I need Ravenclaw's Diadem to follow this." McGonagall said.

"Ravenclaw's what?" Harry asked.

"It's a magical device said to make the wearer smarter, rivaling Rowena herself", Hermione contributed.

"We should probably be using that for hospital security and international politics and stuff. Who has it?"

"It's been lost for centuries. And it's probably better that way. Some... side-effects are also part of the legends", McGonagall added.

"Does the ministry or Wizengamot have anyone looking for it?", Harry asked. "Usable or not, we at least have an interest in making sure no one uses it against us. Imagine how bad things would have been if Voldemort had found such a thing."

"The Department of Mysteries searches for and collects such things", Bones replied. "Do you think the artifact you just learned about should be a higher priority than everything else on their lists."

Harry smiled at the obviously rhetorical query, "I could use a new hobby. Sending people on mysterious and possibly dangerous quests could be fun."

As the meeting concluded, Bones subtly caught Harry's attention. As Moody exited via the floo, she followed Harry and Hermione out the door, almost running into a figure pulling back the hood of an invisibility cloak. It was Harry, naturally.

"You're using a time-turner to talk to me, too? I trust these people. I don't enjoy lying to them", she stated angrily.

"Neither do I, but it's necessary. If everything goes well, we'll be able to tell them everything at the next meeting."

* * *

Pomona Sprout walked briskly toward the great hall, eager to start the day. She had returned to Hogwarts yesterday, after spending a few weeks visiting the magical botanical gardens outside Berlin with her counterpart from Beauxbatons. The director had given them a personal tour, appreciating the chance to talk to people who were equally knowledgeable. The two professors had left with magical pouches straining to hold the seeds and seedlings they had been given and had promised to send various plants and magical horticultural tools back to Germany. The first thing she had to do was find a long-term home for the mandrakes to grow, where they would be healthy and where they wouldn't pose a danger to anyone.

She had reached her seat and began filling her plate with breakfast when a black owl flew into the hall. With a single glance, the bird of prey scanned the room and locked onto its target. It glided straight at Sprout, leveling out just above the height of the table. The owl released the package, made a tight turn, and exited the hall without a single moment of hesitation or even a single flap of its wings. Meanwhile the package slid across the table, stopping just short of Sprout's plate.

She removed the letter from the top of the package and began reading:

"To Pomona Sprout, Head of House Hufflepuff,

I recently received the enclosed object as part of an inheritance. I don't know how my family obtained it, and honestly I don't want to know, but I believe it rightly belongs at Hogwarts and am therefore returning it.

Also, I regret to tell you that the object has been corrupted; some form of dark magic has been inflicted on it. I haven't been able to identify the spell used, so while I haven't noticed adverse effects, one should still take every precaution with it. Any auror, or even most wizards, would probably recommend that it be destroyed, but I can't bear to think about such a priceless artifact, an important piece of Hogwarts' history, and a symbol of House Hufflepuff, being so casually thrown away. I know that you, of all people, will agree, and will be willing to expend the effort to find an alternative. Also, being a professor at one of the world's premier magical institutions, I know you'll be up to the challenge of dealing with this problem. You should have no trouble identifying the magic that was used and finding the appropriate counter-charms to restore this artifact to its intended state.

As most people probably won't understand the importance of cleansing, rather than destroying, this artifact, I recommend against letting anyone know you have it, unless they have earned your absolute confidence.

Sincerely,

Humphrey Huff"

Sprout pulled back the outer covering of the package to peek inside and utterly failed to hide her astonished gasp: someone had just mailed her the long lost Cup of Helga Hufflepuff. Having lost her appetite, she gathered her things and hurried out of the hall.

Sprout decided to just leave the mandrakes in their travel pots in the main greenhouse for now. They would be too young to hurt anyone for several months, and she didn't have to worry about anyone doing anything stupid in the greenhouses during the summer anyway. They would need to be replanted in a few months... maybe that would be a good lesson for her students anyway. She had a more important project now.


	2. Zimbardo's Methodology was Flawed, Pt 1

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 2, Zimbardo's Methodology was Flawed, Pt 1

Here's how it is:

Shortly after the story in HPMOR, Harry remains deeply concerned about the fate of the world, despite Moody having made progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital, and Bones apparently grudgingly willing to take his cues on national policy. Although, she's very concerned that they're hiding something about that policy from the others.

Draco is concerned about his future; his father is gone, his family has lost a significant amount of money, and because Harry has been so distant, Draco is convinced Harry's and Lucius' deal (for Draco to become leader of Magical Britain) has fallen through. Draco then finds a secret cache of dark and powerful objects his father had squirreled away, including the diary of one Tom Marvolo Riddle.

Moody is suspicious of Gilderoy Lockhart, McGonagall's new hire for Defense professor. But that's nothing new, and Moody has found no evidence of wrongdoing in spite of putting some effort into investigating him. Moody, Bones, McGonagall, and Hermione are all concerned about Harry's apparent desire to release Voldemort from the ring in order to question him about the mirror and help rescue Dumbledore. Sprout has mysteriously received a gift: the long-lost and apparently cursed Hufflepuff Cup.

* * *

"Wow, this place is huge!" Dean exclaimed.

Neville looked embarrassed. Susan elbowed Dean.

"I mean, happy birthday."

"Thanks."

They walked outside to the even larger yard where the party was happening.

Hannah walked over to the group, "Everyone in Hufflepuff missed you after you left Hogwarts last spring. Are you coming back this fall?"

"Yeah, I'll be back. I mean, there's no reason not to, with Voldemort gone (again). There's no way this year will be that crazy or dangerous. We'll lose another defense professor but that will probably be it. I wonder what Harry and Hermione will be doing, though. They've apparently been studying all summer to take their OWLs early."

Theodore shook his head, "I'm betting on multiple deaths and mysterious resurrections. Whatever happens has to top last year."

Tracey laughed, "Of course Harry and Hermione will be back. Can you imagine either of them as Hogwarts dropouts? That would take a confundus charm powerful enough to cover the whole school and last for decades."

"I don't know about that", Ron replied. "I never thought I'd look forward to going back to school, but the underage magic law makes everything else so boring. If I could lose one summer studying and then be able to do magic anywhere and not have to study ever again, that would be bloody brilliant."

Tracey smirked. "You stopped doing magic over the summer? Ha ha."

Ron indignantly demanded, "You've been doing magic this whole time!? How?"

Tracey just pointed at him, still laughing. Neville shrugged and offered, "Longbottom manor is warded against lots of stuff. The ministry can't detect anything within the house unless someone calls aurors through the floo."

"You're lucky", Seamus said. "I had to 'accidentally' switch wands with mom so many times before the aurors stopped responding when she cast spells with it."

Susan frowned, "Yeah. That happened. My aunt says they pretty much ignore reports of underage magic unless either someone does something stupid or a Wizengamot member requests reports on someone. Malfoy and his faction used to prevent their enemies' kids (and muggleborns) from using magic, but the rule didn't really apply to anyone else. This summer, I don't think the DMLE followed up on anything."

"Oh... Then I guess the aurors must have come because of the fire damage."

"Ah", replied everyone else, nodding in understanding.

Ron turned back to Tracey, who had recently stopped laughing, "So what was your brilliant method for not getting caught."

Tracey shrugged, "I'm friends with Susan. Oh, Harry and Hermione are here."

"Hey, Harry", Neville waved him over. "After you pass your OWLs, are you coming back to Hogwarts for classes or are you going to drop out to teach the rest of the world the true meaning of chaos?"

Harry feigned offense, "You don't think I can do both?"

Hermione answered, "Seriously, though, we'll be taking Defense and Herbology with the second years, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, and Divination with the third years, and Potions and Astronomy with the fourth years. We might sit in on a Charms class, but we aren't magically powerful enough to take the fourth year class right now."

"I thought you were taking your OWLs. Why aren't you taking 6th year classes?"

Harry answered, "We scored enough As to be able to vote in the Wizengamot, but there's a huge difference between passing a test and being competent at something. And it's important that we're proficient in most subjects. For example, there are about a dozen charms and a dozen potions that they've rotated through for the bulk of those OWLs for several decades so you don't need to learn much to pass. Professor Sprout was away or busy all summer, so we didn't get any practical Herbology training at all. And for some reason, they don't let anyone test out of Arithmancy; people have to actually go to every lecture. It's annoying because I'm sure I could have passed the NEWT for the math that wizards use. Though, it's great to be done with History forever, with 'forever' defined as 'as long as Binns is still teaching."

While Neville was talking to Harry, the rest of the group had slowly dispersed. Harry expected people to lose interest in conversations about school, but he felt oddly suspicious. He turned around to get an overview of the rest of the party-

"Surprise!", yelled everyone. A banner changed its text from 'Happy Birthday, Neville' to add 'and Harry'.

Harry looked back at Neville and whispered, "you know I'm going to get you back for this, right?"

Neville just smiled and nodded.

Hermione rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Harry walked toward the snacks and drinks table and glancing at the butter-beer tap, he suddenly had a thought. He didn't know exactly what would happen, and if his working hypothesis were correct, it would literally have no effect. But he found himself unable to resist.

A moment later, he returned, handing Hermione a mug and taking a sip from his own.

Some time later, Fred and George ran up to Harry, followed by Ginny.

"We need your help", George began.

"Also, Ginny demanded we introduce her", Fred interjected. "She's your biggest fan but you probably already knew that from that picture in the Prophet."

Ginny looked at Harry and opened her mouth to say something, but apparently forgot her lines. Then she stomped on Fred's foot and chased him as he hopped away while George continued, "The 'entertainment' here is for babies. Children's songs, jokes for little kids."

"Ah", Harry answered. "Did you-"

"Think about the problem for five minutes? Yes. Our best solution was to ask you to snap your fingers."

Harry paused for a second, then solemnly intoned, "By my god-like authority, I command the universe to rain chaos and fun down on this party", then snapped.

That's when a pigeon flew overhead and crapped on Augusta Longbottom.

Madame Longbottom had been standing on the conjured stage, beginning to introduce the group she'd hired when the white liquid hit her shoulder, splashing onto her cheek and dribbling down her robes. About half the children laughed. and a few choked on their drinks. She hastily cast a pair of cleaning charms and concluded the introduction.

The group began playing the music for their first song, amplified through a pair of stones radiating a constant sonorus charm.

Just before the first lyric, the singer tripped, knocking heads with one of the musicians, who fell, instinctively reaching out to break his fall, poking another musician in the eyes.

Then the sonorus-speaker system transfigured into what appeared to be a pair of very small, very deformed dragons, which began roaring, drowning out the sound of children's laughter with an out-of-tune but recognizable version of the song that was being performed.

The performers got up and talked privately for a moment. One walked over to Madame Longbottom, saying "We can't work like this; we'll send you a refund."

A while later, a silvery owl circled over the property once, then descended and approached Neville, offering a package. Neville read the note while feeding the owl a handful of snacks. "Oh, it's a birthday present from Draco. That was nice of him; I don't really even know him very well."

The bird flapped its wings and launched itself into the air. It disappeared quickly into the sky, but not before crapping on Madame Longbottom.

"That's enough of that", she announced. "I'm staying inside for a while."

She went inside and took a seat near a window where she could continue to watch everyone outside. As soon as she sat down, her hat vulture struggled and let out a cry. It then crapped, the liquid splattering the side of her face and the front of her robes. Everyone began laughing, some choking, and others laughing at those who were choking.

"Harry", Neville asked, after he'd located Harry and caught his breath, "I think this has somehow been both my best and worst birthday party ever. Did you snap your fingers or what?"

"I understand completely. And I can neither confirm nor deny whether I got you back-"

Hermione interrupted, "Harry, knock that off. What did you do?"

Harry just smirked, reaching into his pouch and tossing her an empty can of comed-tea. "It's a definite possibility that the drinks at this party have been spiked."

But Harry found himself confused. It strained credulity that all of this was already coincidentally going to happen in one time and place, such that someone could be compelled to give everyone present a comed-tea. But that left him with the original, even less probable, idea, that comed-tea altered the universe to produce comedy set-ups. There had to be something else going on here. And perhaps more strangely, comed-tea mixed with butter-beer apparently produced humor of a much more slapstick variety than pure comed-tea. For the latter, Harry decided, he could at least tell himself that the comedy adapts to its audience, but the former was going to bother him until he understood it. Maybe Fred and George had staged the whole thing and only asked him to snap to create plausible deniability... Harry smiled; the more creatively those two learned to think, the more formidable they would become.

* * *

Harry and Hermione were on the roof of Harry's office. It wasn't as comfortable as his office for getting work done, but it was far more inspiring, especially at night.

"Hermione, would you mind reading over this for me?"

"Sure, Harry, what is it?"

"I'm writing a speech for Bones to give to the Wizengamot to convince them to decommission Azkaban. I've gone through the most inspiring and persuasive speeches in muggle history, and tried to replicate what makes them effective. I'm not very optimistic, but I'm running out of things to try."

Hermione took the parchment and read for a moment, while Harry laid on his back watching the stars, "It reads like a speech. I can't think of how to improve it. But I doubt it will change anything either. Some social changes just require a new generation in power before they can happen."

"Twenty to forty more years of those abominations destroying the life and magic of human beings? There must be a better solution than that. Peter Pettigrew has been out of the prison for over a month. I've been told he's been healing but still hasn't spoken, and his magic should be slowly returning, but he hasn't cast anything, even accidentally. There are probably others who are also innocent, and there are certainly people who were cruelly sentenced over accidents, all overlooked by a system that cares more about inspiring fear and obedience than administering justice. You should read about the Stanford Prison Experiment. It basically showed that, under certain conditions, most people can be turned into monsters. I suspect-"

"I have read about it, actually. Including lots of criticism of the methods and conclusions, from bias in selecting participants, to relying entirely on subjective observations, and a total lack of control groups or blinding. The simplest explanation seems to be that Phillip Zimbardo was a sociopath and a handful of the participants were strongly influenced by conformity effects to behave as they believed he wanted."

There was a brief pause as Harry considered this.

"You could always order them to close the prison and destroy the dementors yourself if they refuse", Hermione suggested.

Harry smiled sadly, "You have no idea how many times I've thought about doing exactly that. I really should have done it the first time I had the chance... Anyway, killing a dementor is not without risk. Killing all of them... I can't risk dying to end one problem in one small corner of the world when I'm responsible for saving all of civilization and possibly all life."

"You could teach other people how to kill dementors, and go in with a small army. Then everyone would face a lower risk."

"That's currently plan A, but finding people who are trustworthy takes time, determining that they're capable of learning the necessary spell takes time, and waiting for them to learn occlumency takes time. It will take years to prepare that army."

"You said you'd teach me after I learned occlumency. How long do you think it will be until I've learned it well enough?"

"Actually, uh, I think you've stopped getting better at occlumency. Not everyone has a personality type that can become a successful occlumens. But I've been thinking this over: you can put up an almost-complete block, which is enough to stop most legilimens, the Wizengamot can't legally force one of its own members to take veritaserum, and Mad-eye can hunt down and obliviate anyone who gets the secret. It's a risk, but I think it's worth it. This part should be easier for you than learning occlumency; first you have to solve a riddle."

Hermione stared at him incredulously, "Riddle? I have to solve a riddle to kill dementors? Where are you getting your 'mysterious old wizard' instructions?" She paused, then looked slightly scared, "Dumbledore didn't write a manual for you, did he?"

"You'll understand when you understand. I'm looking for an abstract concept: what do people fear, but not animals? What is impossible to kill? What is so horrible that the mind refuses to process it?"

"I want to say 'trolls', but that isn't a concept. At least not 'troll' the animal; 'troll' the grade fits... But I'm guessing 'death' is the answer you're looking for."

Harry nodded, frowning. "My next question was going to be 'what dark creature best fits that concept' but you already got that answer wrong."

"Well, Professor Quirrell called dementors the second most perfect killing machine, and that's obviously what we're talking about. Oh, this makes sense: that's why people see them as waterlogged corpses. And I suppose it makes sense, as far as magic ever does, that distracting yourself with happy thoughts calls up a magic animal which is immune to the fear of death."

Harry nodded again, smiling this time. "Not everyone who can't produce a patronus is unhappy; many of them are the kind of person who can't use a happy distraction to escape an unpleasant truth."

"And you haven't told people this because the knowledge might prevent them from using a patronus at all." It wasn't a question. "So what's the solution; you can produce a patronus anyway, right?"

"The answer is obvious: you don't try to distract yourself. You stare death in the metaphorical face, comprehend it, fill your mind with happy thoughts, then cast a patronus using the thought of conquering death, of a future where death is just a bad memory. My first time I was staring into a literal dementor, but I suspect that you can imagine staring death in the face easily enough without one. Anyway, I ran through every happy thought I could, then finished with picturing the earth among the stars, and the future of human civilization, having inherited the galaxy and having advanced far beyond anything so mundane as a dementor. Expecto patronum!" A flash from his wand formed into a silvery humanoid.

Harry continued, "That produces a better type of patronus: it can blind, disable, or even permanently destroy dementors. It lets you put a lot more into it", the patronus brightened until it was painful to look at, "but that's also dangerous because it's powered by one's life as well as magic." Harry let the patronus fade away.

A moment later there was a new silvery humanoid on the roof. Hermione sat down, hard, next to Harry.

"So that's the secret to destroying dementors. And you said it's powered by life. So someone could die by putting too much life into this?"

"It's a definite risk. If it were safe and easy, I'd hunt dementors as a hobby."

They were both silent for a few minutes, watching the stars. Harry saw the light moving in the sky, and checked his watch, smiling. Hermione noticed it a moment later. "Harry, what is that? It looks like it's headed here." Harry nodded and climbed to his feet, Hermione stood as well.

The phoenix slowed to a hover in front of them and cawed loudly at Hermione. She turned to Harry, "So I'm the one who has to be the hero. I'm going to go, Harry."

He nodded again, "I know; it wouldn't be you if you could make any other choice." Hermione touched the phoenix's talon and they disappeared in a fiery flash.

Harry let himself show a mischievous smile and reached for his time-turner. He mentally checked off the 'obtain a phoenix for Hermione' part of his master plan, and moved on to the next item: he intended to test the hypothesis that phoenices came from the mirror. But before he could activate the time-turner, he was interrupted by the flash of the phoenix returning. Alone. The phoenix called out, looking around, appearing confused. "What the hell did you do?" Harry demanded.

* * *

Chief Warlock (as far as everyone knew) Bones didn't even try to hide her exasperated sigh from the assembled Wizengamot. She had naively hoped the absence of the usual evil faction would allow the rest of the assembly to get useful things done. Unfortunately, even though they weren't murderous bigots, they were still politicians.

To make matters worse, that kid, despite clearly believing in this cause, had ordered her to sabotage it if necessary "for now". He had made the dubious claim that her efforts either way wouldn't matter in the end and this way she could possibly gain the trust of the new Wizengamot dark faction. Then he had ominously added 'also, other reasons', which especially does not inspire confidence when said by a dark-wizard generated possible ticking-time-bomb.

"Why should we prepare to transfer anyone to a different prison? We have a perfectly good one already", asked some nameless businessman.

Tiberius Ogden responded, beginning to lose his temper, "I told you why: one, dementors are a disgusting punishment, fit for only the worst of the worst offenders and everyone knows it. And that's not just bleeding-heart sentiment; there are real-world consequences. It hurts our international credibility: other countries don't trust our motives when we try to build international coalitions against threats. They were even willing to ignore Voldemort at his worst. Two, we have a higher crime rate than most countries because petty criminals (such as unregistered animagi or ward-breakers-for-hire) are allowed to operate with impunity; sending them to Azkaban would be unjust so such sentences are rarely applied. And that's not even addressing the issue of falsely imprisoned innocents, such as Mr. Pettigrew. Three, dementors do not make a secure prison. They're not trustworthy without a relatively large group of specially trained aurors. And they prevent most other defenses from being employed effectively. Bellatrix Black escaped and is still at large. No one has escaped Nurmengard."

"As Director of Magical Law Enforcement, you told us that you fixed the security problems. Is that accurate?" Umbridge addressed Bones with a smile.

"As you already know", Bones began with a glare, "the addition of new wards and precautions should prevent that method from working again. All prisoners are now checked for animagus forms when they enter the prison and the time visitors can spend there with patroni is strictly limited. The anti-flight wards were upgraded to cover all unauthorized magical flight, and a device was added that casts 'arresto momento' on all unauthorized objects or individuals a few times per second. Mr. Weasley at Misuse of Muggle Artifacts has thus far been unable to procure a suitable device for testing those wards, but we believe they will be sufficient." After Dumbledore's disappearance, she had personally added a ward to prevent phoenices from teleporting into the prison while allowing the individuals transported by the phoenix a one-way trip, but she had decided that no one needed to know about that.

"But the prison is still largely dependent on dementors", Ogden replied. "A modern magical prison, with solid walls and doors, locked with colloportus, and covered with various shielding charms and tampering alarms would be far better."

"And how much would renting space in a foreign prison and transferring all those people cost? Or worse, constructing a new prison?" asked Lady Greengrass, playing the role of someone competent and prudent.

Umbridge interrupted, "That's a great question, but I know what we could do to improve security for free: order the dementors to keep at least one of their number in the prison at all times, with orders to kiss anyone caught outside of the cells. Visitors must be escorted by aurors at all times. We can charge the visitors for the cost of any additional aurors required."

Bones fought down the familiar urge to punch Umbridge in the face or try futilely to teach the idiots about single point failures or always fighting the last war, took a deep breath, tapped the Line of Merlin against the podium, and called for a vote.

* * *

Note: Skepticism has been expressed for Amelia Bones' ability to create a phoenix ward so quickly, given that phoenices are so powerful. I don't believe this is an issue because 1) HPMOR doesn't operate on a power hierarchy, it operates on the principle that 'even the greatest artifact can be defeated by a counter-artifact that is lesser, but specialized' 2) Amelia Bones is one of the smartest and most knowledgeable characters in the story, and 3) she was annoyed by Dumbledore's ability to show up wherever he felt like, so she was likely investigating phoenix warding on and off for the past decade even if she decided against implementing it until after he disappeared.


	3. Zimbardo's Methodology was Flawed, Pt 2

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 3, Zimbardo's Methodology was Flawed, Pt 2

Here's how it is:

Shortly after the story in HPMOR, Hermione decides it is up to her to destroy Azkaban's dementors, even knowing the risks involved. A phoenix arrives to assist her, but after teleporting away with Hermione, immediately returns to Hogwarts.

Harry remains deeply concerned about the fate of the world, despite Moody having made progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital, and Bones apparently grudgingly willing to take his cues on national policy. It is revealed that this policy does not include prison reform, despite some interest in the Wizengamot for switching to a non-dementor prison.

* * *

Draco Malfoy couldn't believe how stupid he'd been.

Draco was sitting in the third safe, as had become his habit. He had several books and parchments on the desk, and was trying to skim through them, but kept getting distracted.

Draco was angry. He was angry at Dumbledore, who had memory charmed and hidden his mother for years. He was angry at Dumbledore's followers, who had all played along. He was angry at Voldemort, who had killed his father and his friends' fathers. He was angry at his father, who had been stupid and careless enough to get killed. He was angry at Snape, who had quit his job and disappeared at exactly the time he was needed most by many of the Slytherins he was supposed to have been mentoring. He was angry at his mother, who had no idea how to be a parent. He was angry at everyone in the government, who wouldn't recognize good policy if it bit them in the face (and mostly because, without father's protection, their laws kept him from practicing magic all summer).

But he was most angry at Harry, who he had tried to befriend and who had betrayed him. Harry, who had lied to him about muggle science rituals, who had manipulated him into making friends with mud-bloods. Harry, who had promised to help him achieve political power, and then basically ignored him after his father died and Hermione returned.

He thought for another moment. Voldemort, Dumbledore, father, and almost all of father's allies had died or disappeared while Hermione had mysteriously un-died and Snape had quit from Hogwarts all at nearly the same time. There was only one person who benefited from any plot resulting in that outcome: one Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres. Or possibly Amelia Bones, who had apparently inherited Dumbledore's Wizengamot position (minus the opposition faction) despite lacking all traditional qualifications for the post. Dumbledore had been a great and powerful wizard, despite being irredeemably evil; he had learned secret magics and defeated powerful enemies. Bones had spent most of her life working for the DMLE and had now been given Magical Britain's highest office.

It occurred to Draco that a Potter plan would likely have resulted with Harry himself holding the Line of Merlin. Although, Harry had certainly learned secret magic and if he'd helped defeat Voldemort, he would already be better qualified for the job than Bones. Draco shook his head. Even if the plan hadn't gone perfectly, it was still clear who was likely responsible: the first (and only) person to report the incident. With no one left to contradict Potter's version, it was a perfect plan.

Harry was becoming just as dangerous as Dumbledore; seeking out dangerous magic, meddling with politics, and likely responsible for killing one of Draco's parents. No one else in Magical Britain would ever even suspect the Boy-Who-Lived; foiling Potter's evil plans would all be up to Draco.

And then the obvious struck Draco with sufficient force that he questioned whether something had been messing with his mind. His father had clearly known but had never stated it directly. Since January! Only three or four people had ever scared his father, and an eleven-year-old should not have added to that number. After Draco had woken up at St. Mungo's, the nature of his father's questions should have been a giant sign with flashing lights and noisemaking charms. His father had concluded that Voldemort had somehow transfered himself into Harry Potter. And after seeing it, there was nowhere Draco couldn't see it: it made perfect sense that the reborn dark lord could do things everyone thought were impossible, that he would use insane battle tactics, that he would manipulate those who were allegedly his friends and allies, that he would turn his office into a cartoonishly evil lair. Of course he was an occlumens; he'd been one for decades. Of course he'd hide his alleged patronus; some reflected light was doubtlessly easier to fake than the image of an animal. Of course he'd risk Draco's life or sacrifice Hermione's in order to move his plans along. But there was no direct evidence, and Draco couldn't even think of a testable prediction. What could possibly falsify such an incontrovertible truth?

Eventually another dark lord would appear and challenge Volde-potter. Volde-harry? For every dark lord, another naturally arises to fight them. Grindelwald defeated a series of dark lords who ruled various parts of Europe, then Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald, and Voldemort was supposed to have defeated Dumbledore. And of course he had; though it had been Harry-mort this year rather than Voldemort-classic a decade earlier.

Anyway, once a new dark lord made his stand against Potter, Draco would have to ensure he would get the number 2 position, not have it stolen from him (again). More importantly, he would have to ensure success. And to do that he would need to bring more to the table than just his family name or diminished family fortune. Draco had gotten a good start working against Harry in the armies; he'd know the enemy better than any other allies a dark lord could gather and was a good strategist in his own right. But even that might not be enough and Draco was unwilling to leave things to chance. Father had amassed a rather large collection of powerful dark (and likely illegal) objects. Unfortunately there was no instruction manual, but there had to be options here for maximizing Draco's utility as a trusted lieutenant and maximizing the chances of victory. He decided to memorize the characteristics of as many of them as possible so he could try to research them later (he wasn't stupid enough to write something like that down).

Then he decided that maybe he was being too paranoid. Surely he could take a few smaller objects (especially some of the texts) with him and keep them in his trunk. When would anyone ever search him? Besides, there were some spells and potions here he was dying to try out...

* * *

The phoenix responded a series of chirps and gestures.

"Well, then teleport as close as you can, and fly the rest of the way", Harry commanded.

The phoenix flashed away again.

Harry reached for his time-turner, then let his hand drop. He needed to wait here.

As he expected/feared, the phoenix returned three minutes later, dripping water and emitting an angry shriek.

"What do you mean you can't fly when there's a ward against magical flight? You're a bird; are your wings just there for show?" The phoenix just looked at the ground. "Okay, follow me. I have another idea." Harry climbed down the ladder to his office, pulled a pair of books off one of his office bookshelves, and opened them on his desk.

* * *

Hermione felt betrayed; the phoenix had insisted she depart immediately, before she'd had time to plan anything and then abandoned her. She hadn't really had much time to think about whether she'd wanted to accept this mission. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't quite remember what the mission was. After a few seconds, it occurred to her that she felt miserable here and wanted to leave.

Somehow, it was getting colder and darker and sadder in the corridor. Dementors, she realized, and they're getting closer. Then she heard footsteps. After another pause, she realized dementors don't step, so there must also be aurors coming. She needed to get out of there; either the aurors would lock her in here permanently or the dementors would do even worse. She tried to run but fell over backwards. She got up and tried again, stumbling. It was as if something was pushing her back, letting her feet outrun the rest of her body.

There was something she vaguely remembered, something Harry gave her, something that would let her hide. She had felt as guilty about accepting it as happy about getting it, so she was still partially able to think about it. But what?

She pulled open her pouch and whispered, "what was it Harry gave me, what did I put in this the day I got out of St. Mungo's?"

The pouch dutifully responded by ejecting the cloak of invisibility at her hands. She caught it and pulled it on more or less automatically.

She sighed in relief as the fear and confusion faded away then sat down against the wall. She was here to cast a patronus strong enough to destroy the dementors even if she died in the process. She wondered if Harry knew about the anti-dementor feature of the cloak. Of course he did; that was probably why he gave it to her. And the whole hiding-from-death thing made it obvious in retrospect. But even without the effect of the dementors, her situation was still pretty bad: she was alone in the world's highest security secret prison, unlikely to survive, and with no way out if she did (it then occurred to her that a phoenix could have helped with all of those things). She questioned whether accepting this mission, after having decided not to be a heroine, had been a mistake.

Well, maybe if not for the fact that if Harry and a phoenix agreed on something, it was probably the right thing to do. She got up with renewed determination and began walking down the spiral to the lowest levels of the prison.

And then there was noise.


	4. Zimbardo's Methodology was Flawed, Pt 3

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 4, Zimbardo's Methodology was Flawed, Pt 3

Here's how it is:

Shortly after the story in HPMOR, Hermione decides it is up to her to destroy Azkaban's dementors, even knowing the risks involved. A phoenix arrives to assist her, but after teleporting away with Hermione, immediately returns to Hogwarts. Hermione is left alone in dementor-central while Harry desperately tries to get the phoenix to her before it's too late.

Draco is angry at the world; at the perceived failures and betrayals of everyone around him. In a flash of incite, Draco concludes that Harry is Voldemort and is the biggest threat to magical society. He begins planning to amass power for the inevitable battle.

* * *

"So you can't teleport directly to Azkaban and can't fly to it. The obvious solution is to teleport above the wards and fall right where you want to go. Unfortunately, I don't know exactly how high or wide the wards extend. But if you start at an altitude of 100km, several kilometers east of the prison, you'll almost certainly be outside the wards, and the earth's rotation will bring Azkaban to you. I'm not sure how resistant you are to the low temperatures and pressures in the upper atmosphere, and don't want you to have to regenerate after you land, so I'm going to transfigure a capsule for you. That will also have the advantage of having a more easily estimated coefficient of drag and terminal velocity. I'll put some fins and a parachute on the capsule so you can steer toward the prison once you see it and then land safely... Sometime soon, I'm going to either need a working computer in here or a magical way to solve equations..."

* * *

A deafening shriek filled the prison, accompanied by a noticeable tremor. An auror was coming down the spiral, now two floors above Hermione, and she could clearly hear a voice yell from his communication mirror, "does anyone know what the hell that was?"

The response also came from the mirror, "Something tore through the outer wall of the prison, sir. It's ... hold on a second ... Be careful, everyone. We must have a seriously powerful dark wizard in the prison."

"Report. What's going on up there, Nobbs?"

"A phoenix came for me, to help me defeat the dark wizard. Does anyone know if they normally arrive in some kind of big metal egg-thing?"

"What?"

"Huh. It keeps falling over." He pauses, laughing. "It looks dizzy. And confused. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it has a concussion."

Hermione had quietly squeezed past the nearest auror and continued spiraling up, occasionally having to duck against the wall to avoid aurors running up or down in no search pattern she could identify.

A few minutes later, she reached the correct level. It was obviously the correct place because of the rain falling into the prison through a roundish hole punched in the ceiling (and outer wall of the corridor above). The auror she'd heard over the mirror had put her phoenix on his shoulder and was trying but failing to look properly heroic while recounting the story to his CO, gesturing at the crumpled halves of a small metal shell. The phoenix somehow had a murderous expression totally incongruous with such an animal. At its first opportunity, the phoenix hopped to the floor and began a slow, furtive escape attempt.

Hermione checked to make sure no one was watching then pulled the edge of the cloak over the phoenix, picked it up, and quickly backed away.

"What the hell did you do?" She whispered, once she was far enough from the aurors.

The phoenix just spread its wings, made eye contact, and slowly shook its head.

"Right. After this, we have to get back to Hogwarts so I can yell at Harry." The phoenix nodded.

They carefully descended through the prison. Past the lowest level, where no humans had likely tread since the prison was constructed, was the threshold through which dementors accessed the prison. Hermione looked into the cave; there was no other way to describe it, there was even a dripping stalactite near the opening. Hermione held her breathe as a dementor drifted by. Once it had passed, the stalactite had a thin layer of ice covering it; the dementor nest was apparently made of permafrost, the obvious result of every other material decaying into dust, mixing with the ever-present rain, and freezing from perpetual dementor exposure.

She took several deep breaths and cast a patronus, then walked to center of the cavern, right into the center of uncounted scores of hovering, cloaked corpses, which quickly became locked in place. She pushed more power into the patronus, which quickly became blindingly bright.

For what felt like a lifetime she felt her life force flowing out of her wand and through the patronus, but she felt something similar flowing back in from both the phoenix and from the dementors as they were vanquished, then overflowing out again. For a moment, Hermione couldn't imagine why she would want to be doing anything else. She pushed even more power through the patronus.

Suddenly the patronus went out. Hermione blinked a few times then noticed that the phoenix had grabbed her wand. The cloaks were lying in the muddy slush, empty.

"Well, that's the biggest check-mark on my to-do list... for my entire life to date. If I were anyone else, I might be concerned about what to follow it up with, but if my life ever gets boring I can just talk to Harry... I guess I should figure out how to get out of here."

This was easier said than done; the phoenix clearly couldn't fly in Azkaban, and a few seconds of testing demonstrated that her broom couldn't either. The weird forces that kept her from running would likely crash an airplane and something like a blimp or hot air balloon would be too easy of a target. Flying away appeared to be impossible.

Although, there were other options. Hermione was reasonably sure she was immune to hypothermia, and even if not, with a phoenix she should still be able to tolerate the water long enough to swim past the wards. Swimming while wearing an invisibility cloak was likely to be problematic but preferable to aurors being able to see her. And if she jumped off the tower through the hole left by her phoenix's arrival, she'd break a few bones but recover quickly enough. It seemed like a viable plan.

She began climbing stairs back to the upper levels but only made it to the second lowest level when she saw aurors. There was a giant spider (nowhere near as large as an acromantula, but still terrifying) behind them, weaving a web across the landing. After it completed the web, they cast a series of wards on it. The web was tightly woven enough to catch even an insect animagus, though casting animagus detection charms would have been far easier. Hermione realized they must have either detected or guessed the presence of the cloak of invisibility, and were prepared to catch a dark wizard with additional options for escape.

After finishing the detection wards on the web the aurors moved down the hallway, stunning the prisoners who Hermione could now hear attempting to escape their cells and fight the aurors. But there were few prisoners this low.

"Oh, no", Hermione whispered. They would seal the lowest level and begin searching it in only another minute. She moved to the center of the corridor, walked into one of the cells and paused to think. She didn't know what wards were cast on the webs or how to bypass them. It was possible she could escape directly, but she didn't know any spells powerful enough to break through the metal walls, especially not quickly enough.

She smiled, "oh, yeah." She drew the rocket launcher from her pouch and fired at the corridor wall. The anti-tank round easily tore a large hole in the structure, allowing rain and light from the overcast sky in. As Hermione got back up from where she'd been blown against the far wall, she made a mental note to always use a blast shield and hearing protection when setting off explosives in the future; she'd been hit by a small amount of shrapnel, which her body quickly expelled, but the burns from the explosion weren't healing as quickly. And not being able to hear anything over the ringing sound was quite annoying.

The aurors heard the explosion and ran toward it from both sides, but Hermione was already in the water, where the phoenix tried to climb onto her back, still tangled in the wet cloak. Hermione slowly swam away from the island, wondering whether unicorns had some prophetic ability. It was improbable to the extreme that the first thing she asked Harry to get after being revived was exactly what she needed on her first mission afterward. Or maybe RPGs are just one of those things that are useful in every situation.

* * *

"I don't think we should tell people about you crashing my phoenix. Or me blowing myself up. In the future, when we can talk about all this, I mean. We should just say I... I don't know, flew in and destroyed the dementors with no particular difficulties."

"Yeah, that's probably for the best... Hermione, wait, what do you mean 'crashed'? The parachute failed?"

"There was a parachute?"

"Caw?"

"What do you mean you don't know what a parachute does? I asked if you understood everything and you nodded... Anyway, I don't have time for this. I have to time-turn and test an hypothesis. You might be interested too."

Harry went backwards several hours. Hermione appeared in his office a moment later. They quietly (so as not to disturb past-Harry on the roof) exited the office and walked to the third floor corridor. "So there's a legend that phoenices come from this magic mirror that happens to be in Hogwarts. The mirror has other magic as well, so it would be preferable if we use the invisibility cloak to prevent it from reacting to us."

A few minutes later, they stood invisibly before the mirror. Harry had first noticed the phoenix two minutes from now. They waited. Harry couldn't help trying to count the seconds in his head. He had reached 140 when there was a bright flash of phoenix fire. They found themselves back in Harry's office with the phoenix hovering in front of them.

"Hermione, your phoenix is interfering with science!"

* * *

"You asked us to move the prisoners and then less than a week later, the dementors are mysteriously gone? And you don't expect us to suspect that you're involved? How naive do you think we are, Ogden?"

"I'm not an idiot or a vigilante, Umbridge. I objected to torturing prisoners but I never advocated acting against the will of this council nor depriving our country of its dementor deterrent. Your attempt to tie me to this act due to my political beliefs would be disturbing if anyone still took you seriously. Next you'll probably blame me for somehow causing Voldemort to kill all your friends."

Umbridge made an offended noise and turned away, looking up toward the podium. "And you... you told us the prison was more secure than ever. Are we to believe you knew nothing about this?"

Bones frowned. "I can neither confirm nor deny that being Chief Warlock comes with special foreknowledge of crazy crap that's about to happen." Then muttered quietly "I hate this job so much. And that kid."

* * *

The headmistress' office was never quiet. Despite having countless silencing charms applied, at least one object was always making noise, even when no one was around. Now, the only sound came from behind the empty desk, where a cube made audible 'blorple' sounds at regular intervals. And a 'click' as the door unlatched and swung slightly ajar before fully opening a second later. A moment later there was another click as the door closed and latched. Then only the sound of the cube remained.


	5. Azkaban 2

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 5, Azkaban 2.0

Here's how it is:

During the summer after the events of HPMOR, Harry remains deeply concerned about the fate of the world, despite Hermione obtaining a phoenix and destroying Azkaban's dementors, Moody having made progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital, and Bones apparently grudgingly willing to take his cues on national policy.

Moody is suspicious of Gilderoy Lockhart, McGonagall's new hire for Defense professor. But that's nothing new, and Moody has found no evidence of wrongdoing in spite of putting some effort into investigating him. Moody, Bones, McGonagall, and Hermione are all concerned about Harry's apparent desire to release Voldemort from the ring in order to question him about the mirror and help rescue Dumbledore. Sprout has mysteriously received a gift: the long-lost and apparently cursed Hufflepuff Cup.

Draco is angry at the world; at the perceived failures and betrayals of everyone around him. In a flash of incite, Draco concludes that Harry is Voldemort and is the biggest threat to magical society. He begins planning to amass power for the inevitable battle.

* * *

 _Harry nodded, a slight shiver going through him. "Um, when you told me about what happened in Godric's Hollow, on Halloween night, in 1981 I mean, um... I thought I saw another flaw in your reasoning. A way you could have avoided disaster. But, um, I think you have a blind spot, a class of strategies you don't consider, so you didn't see it even afterward-"  
_

 _Harry swallowed a lump in his throat. "There wass way for you to tesst your horcrux ssysstem without dying. The general lesson is important. Do you see it now?"_

 _"No," Professor Quirrell said after a while. "And I do hope your lesson is a sensible one, for your sake."_

 _"Suppose, Professor, that I learned how to cast the improved horcrux spell and I was willing to use it. What would I do with it?"_

 _Professor Quirrell answered at once. "You would find some person whom you found morally abhorrent and whose death you could convince yourself would save other lives, and murder them to create a horcrux."_

 _"And then what?"_

 _"Make more horcruxes," said the Defense Professor. He picked up a jar of what looked like dragon scales._

 _"Before that," Harry said._

 _After a time the Defense Professor shook his head. "I still do not see it, and you will cease this game and tell me."_

 _"I would make horcruxes for my friends. If you'd ever really cared about one single other person in the entire world, if there'd been just one person who gave your immortality meaning, someone that you wanted to live forever with you -" Harry's throat choked. "Then, then the idea of making a horcrux for someone else wouldn't have been such a counterintuitive thought." Harry was blinking hard. "You have a blind spot around strategies that involve doing nice things for other people, to the point where it stops you from achieving your selfish values. You think... it's not your style, I suppose. That... particular part of your self-image... is what cost you those nine years."_

 _"I see..." the Defense Professor said slowly. "I see. I should have taught Rabastan the advanced horcrux ritual, and forced him to test the invention. Yes, that is supremely obvious in retrospect. For that matter, I could have ordered Rabastan to try marking himself onto some disposable infant, to see what happened, before I took myself to Godric's Hollow to create you." Professor Quirrell shook his head bemusedly. "Well. I am glad I am realizing this now and not ten years earlier; I had enough to chide myself for at that time."_

 _"You don't see nice ways to do the things you want to do," Harry said. His ears heard a note of desperation in his own voice. "Even when a nice strategy would be more effective you don't see it because you have a self-image of not being nice."_

 _"That is a fair observation," said Professor Quirrell. "Indeed, now that you have pointed it out, I have just now thought of some nice things I can do this very day, to further my agenda."_

 _Harry just looked at him._

 _Professor Quirrell was smiling. "Your lesson is a good one, Mr. Potter. From now on, until I learn the trick of it, I shall keep diligent watch for cunning strategies that involve doing kindnesses for other people. Go and practice acts of goodwill, perhaps, until my mind goes there easily."_

 _Cold chills ran down Harry's spine._

 _Professor Quirrell had said this without the slightest visible hesitation._

 _Lord Voldemort was absolutely certain that he could never be redeemed. He wasn't the tiniest bit afraid of it happening to him._

Harry awoke with a groan and checked the time. Four o'clock in the morning. Harry pushed himself to his feet, groaning again. At least he'd be able to get some work done before Moody arrived and prevented him from doing anything useful for the rest of the day...

* * *

The silence in Harry's office was interrupted by a pop as a short, long-eared creature appeared. "What the hell?"

"Hogwarts is being too dangerous, Harry Potter must leave Hog-"

The creature teleported away just in time to avoid the burst of stunners aimed at and around it.

Harry cursed as she metamorphosed into Auror Tonks, while Harry pulled back the hood of his invisibility cloak.

Harry shook his head, "That was new. I was expecting something to take advantage of the interruption in the wards, but certainly I wasn't expecting that."

Tonks smirked, "I thought being a body-double slash body-guard for a twelve-year-old was silly before, but now that I know Moody sent me to protect you from rogue house elves... Yeah, that's probably the weirdest thing I've seen this week. It's been a slow week."

"It's been a pretty full week for me, though that's probably in my top ten. It could have been much worse; Moody was probably expecting some new incarnation of Voldemort to appear and that you'd have to sacrifice yourself to fake my death or at least stall the attack long enough for him to bring reinforcements."

Tonks frowned, "That... is probably closer to the truth than you think it is."

"I'm still surprised he, and the headmistress, agreed to allow the warding specialists to interrupt some of the wards to study how they interact."

"Yeah, and it's really too bad the creature detection ward is down. It would have been nice to know where that elf came from or ran away to. People always make investigations harder than they ought to be."

* * *

Bones stepped through the floo and glared at Hermione, specifically, at her phoenix. "Of course you two were responsible for Azkaban. I never doubted it for a moment, but there's the smoking responsible adults cleaned up your mess without incident _this time_."

Harry turned to Hermione, "Yeah, you probably need to keep the phoenix hidden from teachers, students, etc. for a while. Like until the next time you do something heroic and dangerous."

"I guess even Fawkes wouldn't go along with a prison break", Moody added. "How did you get another phoenix, anyway?"

Harry answered, "The normal way; when someone plans on doing something heroic and crazy and dangerous, one shows up somehow. I'm still investigating the details. Also, since when has Azkaban blocked phoenix travel? I remember Fawkes took Dumbledore there."

"Well, if _someone_ had told me about what you were planning, I probably would have explained the new wards. It's not like I can predict what crazy things you're going to do."

Harry shrugged, "Fair enough-"

Hermione interrupted, "Fawkes probably would have helped. We could have waited and come up with an actual plan and found out about the anti-phoenix wards and the tripping jinxes and everything else.I didn't think about it at the time, but it really wasn't urgent that I left at that second."

Bones added, "Or if we'd seriously tried, we may have been able to convince the Wizengamot to close the prisonwithout the vigilantism."

Harry closed his eyes, "It was urgent. You only get one chance to accept a phoenix."

Hermione scowled, "I thought you guys tried to get the Wizengamot to close the prison. And basically concluded it wasn't going to happen."

"Actually, I just had Bones say that so you'd be in the right state of mind to attract a phoenix."

"Harry, you lied to me!"

"I think it's very, very important that you have a phoenix. The safest way to get one is to plan a mission one believes is urgent and dangerous but really isn't."

"You should have asked first; you promised."

"That wouldn't have worked. For a phoenix to show up, you need to believe you're doing the right thing, that it's going to be dangerous even with help from a phoenix, and again, you only get one chance. And I wish someone had manipulated me into getting a phoenix. Although if I'd known your phoenix would be defective, I might not have bothered with it."

"As glad as I am to have Hermes, you have to stop manipulating people like this."

"I've been meaning to ask about that name; the messenger of the gods. Does that mean you've found a new ambition?"

"Don't change the subject, Harry-"

McGonagall interrupted, "Actually, if you can postpone this fight until later, I assume there are more important topics on the agenda?"

Bones nodded, "Bellatrix was at Gringotts. The goblins have been spectacularly unhelpful but we've been able to determine that she flooed in a few weeks ago, accessed her vault, and left without incident. The floo system reported unexpected activity at the Black family home to the DMLE, but it looked like she had moved on at least a week earlier and there are no further leads and no usable witness reports."

Hermione frowned, "No one saw her at Gringotts? She was there during normal business hours, right?"

Bones scowled, "We've tracked down a few people who apparently saw her. You'd think people would recognize the most wanted woman in magical Britain, but apparently not if she dyes her hair blond."

Harry asked, "Not even with a missing arm?"

"According to the witnesses, her limbs were intact and there was nothing suspicious about her. Basically no one knows anything useful. The bottom line is you should stay inside the wards here until she's apprehended."

"Speaking of the which, did the ward specialists learn everything they needed to know to set something up at Hogwarts?"

Moody chuckled, "The only thing they learned was how much they don't know. They said they'll need to investigate for at least a year to be able to make even simple modifications."

Harry scowled, "That's totally unacceptable. How about this as a temporary alternative: We build the arrival and departure rooms outside the wards as planned, with hallways that lead underground. But instead of building an underground hospital, we just leave it as two rooms, from which Hermes teleports people to random rooms in Azkaban. Fawkes holds the Philosopher's Stone and takes it to the rooms where it's needed. We recruit someone in each of the world's major magical hospitals to report their terminal patients, after which someone stuns, time-turns, and then teleports them to the arrival room. After treatment, they're taken to wait in the departure room and returned to the hospital the instant they left."

Moody nodded, "The basics sound workable; Azkaban does have pretty solid warding to start with. I'll work out the details for the hospital liaisons, which will take a little time, but I should be able to get St. Mungo's on board within the week. International hospitals may present some issues."

"Other governments have three general options: to cooperate, to stall, or to actively try to attack or sabotage the hospital. We need a situation where cooperation is the Nash equilibrium choice for each government. Countries shouldn't interfere if the likely outcome of that interference (including reactions by other countries) is worse than the status quo. I'll have to think more about it, but I'd guess that threatening to withhold treatment from leaders of countries that do annoying things would probably be sufficient."

Bones smirked, "You make it sound like politics should be an arithmancy exercise. Let me know how that works out for you."

"I know there are more details to work out there, and your advice would be appreciated. Take some time to think it over and we'll talk about it later."

Bones nodded unenthusiastically.

"Is there any news about Peter?", McGonagall asked.

Bones sighed. "At the moment, no one knows where he is. As you know, Peter Pettigrew was taken from Azkaban to St. Mungo's weeks ago. Physically, he was reportedly recovering, psychologically, not so much. He hadn't spoken or demonstrated any magical ability, including metamorphosing back to his original form. Then he disappeared from the hospital."

"Oh...", Harry began. "Wait, never mind..."

"So he was Sirius after all then", Moody concluded.

Bones replied, "Well, the investigators can't be sure it was really Sirius who was killed by Voldemort. They don't know anything. That's not in report i mean, of course."

"I can certainly understand someone who was imprisoned for a decade without a trial fleeing magical Britain at their earliest opportunity," McGonagall argued.

Harry concluded, "There are four general possibilities, between which I can't distinguish with the current evidence: One, Sirius became a death eater, betrayed my parents, then got Peter imprisoned in his place. Two, Sirius was a death eater, but ended up in Azkaban while metamorphosed Peter was killed by Voldemort that night. Three, Peter was the traitor but was smart and/or cowardly enough to use Sirius' form to do illegal things, eventually getting Sirius arrested in his place. And four, Peter used Sirius' appearance as a death eater, but Sirius then got Peter justly arrested. So basically, I think we know less now than we thought we knew a few weeks ago."

"I don't think that changes anything", Bones replied. "Aurors will continue to search for him, and we'll get it settled after they apprehend him."

"He could be a security threat, but with reduced magic and likely limited mental function, he's unlikely to be more dangerous than anyone else", Moody added. "Speaking of suspicious and probably dangerous people, what are you planning to do about Lockhart?"

McGonagall answered dryly, "pay him to teach defense."

"That's a mistake. That man is either into something so dark I don't know how to detect it or he's just been lucky. Either way, he's a bad choice for a defense teacher."

Harry interjected, "I'm surprised you believe in luck, actually."

Moody's human eye stared at Harry, "It'll be in your 6th or 7th year potions text. Only a few wizards have ever been able to brew it, so I assume he bought, inherited, or stole some."

Harry lowered his face into his hands. "A potion that makes luck? You've got to be kidding me. With instructions that everyone knows about but almost no one can use? Why does that sound familiar? It's got to be another cover story for some secret artifact. I guess that's another entry for the list of artifacts we need to collect." Harry looked around the room, "So is there anything else we need to talk about?"

Bones shrugged, "It's probably nothing but you get weird about these things. Some aurors reported a glowing person rising through the core of Azkaban after the dementors disappeared. One of the muggleborns referred to it as an angel and a handful of people are convinced it's part of some muggle end-of-the-world prophecy and are taking the whole thing far more seriously than I'd consider healthy."

"A messenger of a different god", Harry smirked. "Hermione, I'm definitely noticing a pattern..."

* * *

Hermione walked down a random hallway. She was trying to decide for how long she should refuse to speak to Harry, or if there were a more effective behavior modification method, when Professor Sprout walked through an intersection and paused to talk.

"Hermione, I'm sorry I haven't been available much this summer. I don't know how I got this busy. I heard you passed a fair number of OWLs anyway, so congratulations; that's very impressive. Anyway, one of the projects I've been working on involves some really interesting charms research that I could use some help with, if you're interested..."


	6. The Philosophy of Science of Magic

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 6, The Philosophy of Science of Magic

Here's how it is:

At the end of the summer following the events of HPMOR, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world, but has made significant progress: Hermione obtaining a phoenix and destroying Azkaban's dementors, and Bones apparently grudgingly willing to take his cues on national policy. Progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities and a temporary solution is being set up in the now-abandoned Azkaban tower. Harry has built up a relatively long list of things he needs to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, magic-technology interactions, and helping Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like revisiting his conclusions about comed-tea, looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem, and looking into whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story.

Hermione is upset that Harry lied to her, manipulating her into attacking the dementors in Azkaban herself, rather than even trying to deal with it politically. Moody is still suspicious of Gilderoy Lockhart, but thinks it's most probable that he's an incompetent relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. Moody failed to find persuasive evidence for anything dark and now it's too late for McGonagall to find an alternative Defense professor.

Bellatrix is still at large and able to appear in public despite being Magical Britain's most wanted. The inmate assumed to be Pettigrew has disappeared, leaving questions about his true identity and possible crimes. Sprout has mysteriously received a gift: the long-lost and apparently cursed Hufflepuff Cup and has requested Hermione's help with research of a vaguely defined nature. Draco is angry at the world; at the perceived failures and betrayals of everyone around him. In a flash of incite, Draco concludes that Harry is Voldemort and is the biggest threat to magical society. He begins planning to amass power for the inevitable battle.

* * *

With dementors nearly extinct in Britain (a few were being kept in the department of mysteries in case of emergency), and a temporary-but-functional solution for philosopher's-stone-based-healing in the works, Harry had been able to relax quite a bit. He didn't have any good ideas for approaching, much less solving the problem of Merlin's Interdict, and didn't have any non-vetoed ideas for helping Dumbledore, so he had decided to use the opportunity to investigate the science of magic.

Hermione entered his office, "so what's the plan today?"

"I'm mostly interested in determining which fundamental physical laws need to be modified to account for magical effects. We know electronics are disrupted by magic, so electromagnetism seems like a good place to start. There will also be practical benefits to learning the limits on muggle technology that works around magic. So I've decided to start by studying basic circuits. My father sent assorted components and an analog multi-meter, which I expect to produce useful results, even if magic affects its accuracy."

They started by checking and recording the battery voltages. "Those are all reasonable results. That isn't too surprising because I've gotten power from a car battery near Hogwarts before."

"What's the first experiment going to test?"

"We've already learned a lot. An analog volt meter operates by producing a current proportional to the applied voltage across a known internal resistance (by Ohm's law, I = V/R), and uses the magnetic field created by that current to produce a force (a Lorentz force, F = I L x B), which is measured by how far it pushes a magnetic needle against a spring providing an opposing force (F = k x). Therefore Ohm's Law and Lorenz' Law are still valid. Next, let's check the resistor values. An analog ohm meter uses a known voltage to produce a current inversely proportional to the resistance being measured, which is then read the same way as it is for the voltage measurements."

Measuring the values of the resistors produced similarly reasonable results, within a few percent of the indicated values.

"I really should have asked dad to measure the resistors (away from any magic) before sending them. And to record the voltages before sending the batteries, even though they would have discharged a little between now and then. There could be small discrepancies that are being hidden by uncertainty in the battery charge levels and the allowable manufacturing tolerances on resistance values. I could get a more accurate sensor, but it's probably not a good use of time to chase increasingly insignificant digits looking for small anomalies without knowing more about where to look."

"You do realize that magic may modify the voltage, current, and magnetic field in complementary ways, such that you see the same result even though something different is going on?"

"That's not a particularly Occam-friendly hypothesis, but that doesn't make it wrong. We can roughly measure the power produced with the brightness of a light bulb, or measure it more accurately with a resistor in water-proof insulation in a calorimeter. Electrical power is the product of voltage and current, so that would show if the battery voltage were lower than it should be, but inexplicably producing the current corresponding to the expected voltage, or if the current were lower than expected but producing the magnetic field strength for the expected current."

"But if the voltage were higher and the current lower or vise-versa, such that the product were the same, that wouldn't help. Or if the power didn't match the product of voltage and current."

"I suspect that some of these laws are true based on the definitions of voltage, current, power, etc. I also doubt electronics would be failing without some relatively obvious phenomenon that can be detected with this hardware. If we don't find anything interesting today, I'll read up on how electrical properties are defined and how to measure them more directly. We could even start by transfiguring stuff to replicate Millikan's oil drop experiment if you'd like."

Hermione transfigured a bomb calorimeter while Harry verified Kirchoff's current and voltage laws with various networks of resistors and batteries alligator-clipped together. Again, there were no novel scientific discoveries. They then timed how long it took a capacitor to charge while in series with a resistor and a battery before moving on to semiconductors.

Harry was becoming annoyed and frustrated. After seeing analog electronics operate normally, he had really been expecting the quantum physics on which semiconductors were dependent to fail in the presence of magic. Scientists already knew that the Standard Model of quantum physics was incomplete because gravity hadn't been unified with the other forces, and Harry was expecting/hoping that the effects of magic would provide the critical insights required to discover the Theory of Everything. Instead, the diodes, LEDs, and transistors defied expectations by working exactly the way the textbooks said they should.

They briefly discussed the possibility that Harry's office was coincidentally far enough away or well-shielded enough from Hogwarts' magic to allow all electronics to work, but quickly falsified that hypothesis by attempting and failing to turn on an old four-function calculator and a digital watch that Harry had intended to use to measure the physical extent of Hogwarts' stone-age zone.

Harry pulled out a breadboard and built increasingly complex networks of transistors, finally ending up with a 4-bit full adder made with switches, LEDs, and NAND gate ICs. Harry flipped the switches to test the results for a couple of input numbers.

"This is crazy! All of the individual laws and test circuits work right, but consumer electronics don't. I can make a working binary adder, but can't turn on a calculator. What is going on here?"

Hermione shook her head, "Harry, I have to go. I have another project to work on."

"Yeah, I understand. I'm going to have to take a break from this soon too."

Harry briefly wondered whether he'd spent too much time around Mad-Eye because he found himself provisionally assuming that the laws of physics as he knew them applied at Hogwarts, but that something or someone was deliberately messing with him. Perhaps allowing tests to work, but preventing anything practical from being done with that knowledge.

That gave Harry an idea for one more quick test...

* * *

Harry frowned as he watched the crowd gathering on the train platform from a distance. For some reason, Hermione was convinced it was important for them to meet everyone here (even though they would see them at Hogwarts in a few hours anyway). He had resolved to make an appearance for five to ten minutes, then take a floo back to his office. Who had the time to spend hours on a pointless train, anyway? Harry made a mental note to suggest that McGonagall install a floo in the Great Hall which could be activated when everyone was coming or going. He glanced at his wrist, noting the time on his mechanical watch, and the absence of time on his digital watch. Apparently electronics didn't work here either-

"So you've been looking for me." It wasn't a question.

Harry suppressed the reflex to jump at the unexpected voice, and turned to face a young blond girl, "I wasn't actually looking for anyone in particular; it was recommended that I make an appearance here to socialize. Also, I don't know who you are."

"Do you typically only look for what you already know? That's not a very good way to learn anything. We certainly couldn't produce a newspaper that way."

"That's good philosophy in general; I suppose it might work in this case... newspaper- you're Luna Lovegood?"

"That's what people have always told me, though I suppose they could have been mistaken. Or trying to trick me."

Harry smiled, "that's true. It's also true that I've wanted to talk to you. Specifically about where the information for your stories comes from. Specifically the frequent stories the Quibbler publishes mentioning me."

"Hogwarts, mostly."

"... What do you mean? You have students there who write for your paper? Or act as sources?"

"No, the paper has used sources and hired investigative reporters before, but I've never seen the point. There's always plenty to write about without them."

"Then what did you mean about getting information from Hogwarts?"

"When I see or hear something about you, it usually comes from Hogwarts. I imagine you don't spend much time in oceans or deserts."

"You get information from the oceans?"

"Usually. They cover three-quarters of the planet, you know. They're also really deep. I wonder if that's why this is platform nine-and-three-quarters? Probably not; nine never means anything-"

"Uh, Luna, what kind of things have you seen in the oceans?"

"Oh, lots of things. Most of it is really dark, though. There are fewer fish in the dark parts, but there are shrimpy things living at the bottom. Especially when there's smoke coming out of the ground; they seem to like it there."

Harry doubted most wizards knew anything about the ocean, especially not about the abyssal zone or hydrothermal vents, but decided to remain skeptical; he could just be pattern matching due to a bias toward wanting someone to have a special knowledge source, like the universal cheat codes Dumbledore used. He'd have to come up with a test that would involve Luna discovering specific information that neither of them could know otherwise. Speaking of tests... "I want you to try to solve a puzzle: you give me three numbers and I'll tell you whether they obey a secret rule. Your goal is to figure out the rule. Your first clue is that 2, 4, 6 obeys the rule."

Luna tilted her head, "0, 0, 0?"

"No."

"2, 4, 6?"

"Uh, yes."

"Any three numbers as long as each is bigger than the last?"

Harry's mouth dropped open, "...Yes, actually. Have you heard this before?"

"What do you mean?"

"Has anyone ever asked you to solve the 2-4-6 puzzle before?"

"I don't think so. Why would anyone do that? It's kind of a strange question to ask people, isn't it? Well, I suppose you're the wrong person to ask that. Not that I pay much attention to that sort of thing either."

Harry distractedly waved at the pair approaching them, "Hey, Hermione, hey Jenny."

"Ginny", Hermione corrected.

Harry shrugged, "Sorry."

Hermione stared at Harry for a moment then said, "Ginny was looking for Luna. They're apparently friends and neighbors."

Harry nodded, then turned back to Luna, "It was a pleasure to meet you. I have a feeling we're going to be friends. When you meet the Sorting Hat, think Ravenclaw thoughts. I think you'll like it there."

Harry and Hermione walked away, ignoring the younger students conversation. Hermione spoke first, "You really don't like Ginny, do you?"

"It's not that I hate her; she's just boring. You'd expect someone who grew up with Fred and George to have done something interesting by now. I mean, even Ron- the first time I met him, I quickly learned that he's mentally slow, obsessed with quidditch, and passionately hates Slytherins, or at least Malfoys. So he'd not someone I have anything to talk about with, but he at least demonstrated a personality. Ginny is like a generic background character who just keeps showing up."

Hermione glared at him, then shook her head, "You know Luna's not really a seer, right?"

"How would I know that? I can't exactly watch every second of her life to verify that she has never and will never communicate a prophecy. That's the only way to disprove the seer hypothesis, while a single prophecy would confirm it."

"Harry, you know what I mean. Between taking divination, arithmancy, and talking to Luna it's obvious that you're searching for ways to get information about the future. I went through the whole fake prophecy thing last year with Millicent and I'm not falling for it again. They both claim to just somehow know stuff, rather than reciting prophecies under a trance, without remembering them later."

"I've basically been given Harry Seldon's job: predicting and preventing catastrophes and plotting the course of civilization centuries in advance. Getting a reliable source of future information could be critical to that; it would certainly make things easier... Hold on, you didn't mention anything about Millicent claiming to be a seer. I would have remembered that."

"She was telling the SPHEW where to find bullies. I don't know how, but it doesn't matter because she's not a seer."

Harry frowned, "Snape said he was giving you notes about where to go. I may have forgotten to mention that."

"Well, I was getting notes, but Daphne was getting the same information from Millicent somehow."

"Oh. Margaret Bulstrode abuses a time-turner. She never seems to get in trouble for it though. But I don't think a time-turner would explain Luna... well, maybe... Anyway, I haven't ruled out the null hypothesis, that she may be doing a form of cold reading, making vague guesses and relying on people to imbue them with meaning after the fact, but that seems unlikely in this case. There are certainly additional magical senses, so it's not implausible that she has one."

Harry continued, "Conventionally, there's no way to find actual objective truth because our perceptions are too fallible, so skepticism is always required; almost nothing ever becomes 100% certain. The best we can do is make repeated observations, have multiple people try to replicate those observations, then try to fit those observations into theories and make testable predictions using those theories. Muggles sometimes talk about 'other ways of knowing', but their examples always reduce to a non-obvious form of science or to something that makes subjective rather than objective conclusions, failing to support their claim of a shortcut to objective truth. But with magic, that's not necessarily true anymore; there may be a way to get answers without years of careful investigation, maybe by using perfectly reliable perception or some type of absolute truth verification charm. Something like that would be game-changing. It's worth some effort to look for it."

* * *

"So you've been looking for me." It wasn't a question.

Draco replied to the small blond girl, "Not... specifically, no. Who are you?"

"Luna Lovegood, at least that's what I've always been told."

"Oh..." Draco thought quickly, searching for something that sounded non-threatening and sincere. "For most of my life, your family were considered enemies by my family. But I'm sure you were all doing what you thought was right. My father was a death eater, after all. Anyway, if you have any problems at Hogwarts or need help with anything, don't hesitate to come to us." He left the room as quickly as possible without giving the impression that he was leaving the room as quickly as possible.

"Explain one more time what we're doing", Theodore Nott requested.

Draco sighed. "It's time for the Silvery Slytherins to start taking action. We can't fix everything about House Slytherin right now, but what we can do is improve public relations with those around us. By showing our classmates that there are Slytherins and then there are Slytherins, they'll be more likely to work with us, now and in the future. By showing the first years that not all Slytherins are the monsters they've heard about, they'll be less likely to go to the Sorting Hat thinking 'anywhere but Slytherin'. And then there may be even more of us next year, hopefully creating a positive feedback loop. So we're going to introduce ourselves to the first years and encourage them to talk to us if they have any problems and generally be nice."

As he spoke, they passed an open door, through which they heard Jugson scoff loudly. "Go on ahead; I'll catch up to you. I feel this needs to be addressed", Draco said, stepping though the door and closing it behind him.

He put on a neutral expression, made eye contact, and began, "Acting nice builds a certain reputation, which facilitates trust, which is useful. Not to mention the potential for recruiting followers. Last spring, I lost most of my min- The political alliance that roughly corresponds with Slytherin House lost many of its most valued individuals, including my own father. Certain other interests will control this country for decades without... a somewhat drastic change in methods. I don't intend to stand by and watch their plans unfold. I intend to lead more than a pathetic group of outlaws. I require members of all four houses to respect and follow me. And if you interfere with my ambitions you will regret it." He opened the door and stepped out before Jugson could reply.

As he rejoined others, Tracey was saying "And besides, as a Darke Lady I need to recruit minions. I'm pretty sure that's the real reason we're doing this."

"You could not possibly have missed the point of redeeming Slytherin House any worse if Dumbledore himself had left you personalized directions", Daphne replied.

"Right, of course that's not why we're doing this", Draco added quickly.

* * *

So far, nothing unexpected had happened. The Sorting Hat may have been selecting a higher than normal number of Slytherins this year, but it was hard to tell as almost half the students were still waiting in line.

Harry had bought more comed-tea at the train station in order to try an absolutely necessary experiment. He had decided to dilute it with water and drink 4 ounces of the mixture at dinner every other day. He would rate the humor or unexpectedness of events at each dinner, thereby implementing a randomized controlled trial of the effects of comed-tea. He wasn't prepared to do a blinded trial yet (that would require including more researchers than a preliminary investigation), but he decided that he could ask Hermione to rate the unexpectedness that happened every day as well, and he'd be able to make a decent conclusion about whether the potion caused funny things (if even numbered days were significantly weirder) or whether an impulse to drink comed-tea was retroactively caused by funny things (if the diluted mixture didn't result in any significant correlations). His first day of experimentation had begun just prior to the sorting.

Luna approached the chair, looked at the hat for a moment, then hesitantly picked it up and put it on her head.

There long pause.

Students began to fidget, then quietly talk to each other. McGonagall frowned but said nothing.

"Her sorting is taking even longer than yours," Anthony whispered to Harry.

"She's probably going to be the most dangerous dark witch of all time," Padma whispered to no one in particular. Others nodded in agreement.

Finally, the Sorting Hat spoke, "HOGWARTS SORTING CEREMONY... I mean rye... that is... RAVENCLAW!"

Everyone stared in confusion while Luna walked to the table and sat with the other first-years. Harry suppressed a giggle, "Silly Sorting Hat. You had one job... and mirroring her brain almost made you forget what it was."

The rest of the sorting was less eventful.

* * *

Hogwarts Castle is known for being full of novel and interesting magical things. Given this fact, and the unreliability of children's ability to remain in a single-file line, it should surprise no one that all first-years do not successfully reach their common rooms after the sorting ceremony without some special help.

Those were the moments Peregrine Derrick lived for. And due to the magic of short memories and summer vacations, a handful of Slytherins were once again following his lead. They'd chosen to stalk the Hufflepuff group, based on their belief that no task was too simple for a Hufflepuff to botch. They considered that belief justified when several of the students in the back of the group paused to look at a painting, then made a wrong turn trying to catch up with the group. A moment later, they'd trapped themselves in a corner and given up practically without Derrick and the others even drawing their wands.

"STOP!" Derrick involuntarily put his hands to his ears in response to the magically amplified voice. At least one of the others dropped their wand doing the same.

He turned and saw Professor Sprout scowling at them, then recovered quickly, "What are you even going to do?" he asked dismissively.

With no change in expression, she twitched her wand and his wand caught fire.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, quickly extinguishing the flames with his robe. "Guh", he exclaimed after Professor Sprout used the distraction to cross the distance between them and put her wand to his throat.

"TWO WEEKS DETENTION FOR ALL OF YOU. AND IF I CATCH YOU HARASSING YOUNGER STUDENTS EVER AGAIN, YOU WILL LOOK BACK AT THIS MOMENT WITH NOSTALGIA."

She gestured with her wand and he was thrown five meters down the hallway. "START RUNNING!", she yelled at them.

She then canceled the sonorus charm and, after they recovered from their disorientation, led the students to the Hufflepuff common room without further incident.

* * *

Carl Sloper walked through the hallway, not moving quickly and purposefully but not wandering aimlessly either. He just intended to not make it back to the common room before curfew. Gryffindor didn't even have any house points yet, so it was a matter of principle, really.

But he was observing his surroundings carefully; there was no point getting a detention if it were avoidable. He saw a flash of green cloth at the edge of a shadow and instantly drew his wand and cast a shield, "I see you there. You're not going to ambush me. You've got three seconds to come out before I start cursing."

"Shut up and get lost, Gryffindork. I'm not here for you. What are you even doing this close to the dungeons?"

"Jugson? I wouldn't have pictured you hiding from anyone. Anyway, I've got every right to be in this hallway. At least for another ten or fifteen minutes. What are you playing at?"

"It's none of your damn business, but if it will get you out of here faster, I'm waiting to have a conversation with Malfoy. Boy needs to learn some respect for his elders."

"Oh... actually, I think I'd like to have a conversation with Malfoy too. Now that his father and his politician friends aren't around to protect him."

"Fine. But shut up and disappear. And you'd better not get in my way."

* * *

Crabbe and Goyle had been reluctant, but had followed Draco's order to go back to the common room before him, leaving him walking back alone. Their insistence that this was an unnecessary risk simultaneously amused and annoyed him.

Draco walked around a corner, put on a smile and called out "Ah, Jugson, you've made a new friend. I'm glad you took my ideas about inter-house relations to heart so quickly." Internally, he felt anger rising; two upperclassmen against second-year magic was a much fairer fight than he wanted.

"You've brought this on yourself, you arrogant little git."

Draco smirked, "I've heard these hallways can get dangerous. You guys should leave before you get hurt."

Sloper jumped out and cast a stunner. It missed Draco as he'd already started running. Straight down the hallway toward them.

Standard shields are good at blocking standard stunners, force spells (blasting, cutting, etc.), and physical objects (they wouldn't be very useful if someone could simply stick a wand through and cast inside the shield), but they required customization to block other spells. Any good duelist knows, despite whatever shields he'd cast, his opponent may cast something that could bypass them, and therefore has to frequently adapt their shields to their opponent's likely attacks. Therefore, it pays to open with something unexpected.

Draco, while still running, flicked his wand to the right and cast the conjunctivitis curse, blinding Jugson. Draco then dove. He'd timed it perfectly: Jugson had diverted power from his shield to attempt a counter-curse, Sloper had slightly led Draco with his wand while preparing a blasting curse, and Draco had slid just under the curse, which directly hit and overloaded Jugson's weakened shield.

After sliding, Draco rolled behind Jugson for momentary cover and cast a quick somnium at Jugson's back. As Jugson fell, Draco jumped to the side, out of the path of Sloper's next spell. He pointed his wand at Sloper's hand and cast a cooling charm, pushing enough power into the spell for frost to deposit on his opponent's wand. Sloper attempted to cast a another blasting curse, but his numbed fingers dropped the wand. His shield dropped at the same instant and his body dropped a second later.

His favorite part of a battle, even more than the 'winning' part, was the 'sending a message' part. He hovered Sloper on top of Jugson and then hovered Jugson to drag them both along; he'd have to take them into the Chamber of Secrets because otherwise the wards would detect anything worth doing. There were so many ideas he was anxious to try out, but it was such a waste to kill anyone before relearning the horcrux spell. Luckily he did have a few creative non-lethal ideas...


	7. Disregard for Social Norms

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 7, Disregard for Social Norms

Here's how it is:

At the end of the summer following the events of HPMOR, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world, but has made significant progress: Hermione obtaining a phoenix and destroying Azkaban's dementors, and Bones apparently grudgingly willing to take his cues on national policy. Progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities and a temporary solution is being set up in the now-abandoned Azkaban tower. Harry has built up a relatively long list of things he needs to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, magic-technology interactions, and helping Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like revisiting his conclusions about comed-tea, looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem, and looking into whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped.

Sprout has mysteriously received a gift: the long-lost and apparently cursed Hufflepuff Cup and is now displaying uncharacteristically aggressive behavior. She has requested Hermione's help with research of a vaguely defined nature. Draco, after finding Tom Riddle's diary, is showing some very Voldemort-like thought patterns. He is working to amass power for himself and is using the Silvery Slytherins to recruit new students. He has started traveling the castle alone at night, and displays the ability to out-duel upperclassmen with relative ease.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge. Hermione, while still upset that Harry manipulated her into attacking Azkaban, is at least speaking to him again. She's confused about Harry's interest in Luna's apparent knowledge, especially because she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is an incompetent relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. Bellatrix is still at large and able to appear in public despite being Magical Britain's most wanted. The inmate assumed to be Pettigrew has disappeared, leaving questions about his true identity and possible crimes.

* * *

Acting Headmistress McGonagall paced back and forth behind the desk in the headmaster's office. Finally, she stopped and faced the individual seated in front of the desk, "I'm disappointed. And confused. I was at the meeting last year where the Headmaster lectured you on the approved Hogwarts policy for dealing with infractions of hallway discipline. As I recall, you were explicitly told not to interfere with disciplinary matters in Slytherin House."

Professor Sprout shrugged casually, "I was not impressed with Hogwarts' old policies for enforcing hallway discipline. I know you felt the same way so obviously this year will be different."

"I do not feel that your actions were in any way appropriate for a Hogwarts professor."

"Why?", Sprout watched McGonagall's face intently but emotionlessly.

McGonagall had never mastered occlumency, but had taken some of the basic training for it. In reaction to Sprout's stare, she automatically checked the surfaces of her mind, even as she realized it was a silly reaction. Of course she sensed nothing, Sprout would never do that, even if she could. "Do I really have to explain the problem with a professor holding a student at wand-point or attacking them with magic?"

"Why are you still enforcing Dumbledore's rules? At some point, are you going to demonstrate real leadership or just cargo-cult leadership?"

"What?"

"Copying the behavior of a role model, whether or not you've understood the purpose of their actions and their applicability to current circumstances. Unless you can articulate reasons for the old rules, enforcing them is just blind adherence to the cult of Dumbledore."

McGonagall hadn't known quite what to expect from this conversation, but this certainly wasn't it. As she struggled to form a response, she was interrupted by a request to see Madame Pomfrey in the infirmary as soon as possible.

* * *

Shortly after, she had dismissed Sprout and arrived in the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey, who had been handling student injuries for decades, was in as close to a state of shock as McGonagall had ever seen. "What is it?", she asked gently.

"I had to rush two students to St. Mungo's. I believe they arrived promptly enough to prevent any permanent injury."

"Who? And what happened?"

"About half an hour ago, two students, Robert Jugson and Carl Sloper, I believe, came running in here, screaming incoherently; something about crawling under their skin. I almost stunned them. At that point, I could see what looked like a few bruises on them, but nothing to explain their panic. Eventually I got them to take calming draughts and sit down... They didn't know much; claimed they woke up laying in a hallway, like they'd been obliviated...

"They said they felt their skin crawling and when it started to get painful, they rushed here.

"And that's about when I saw the first spider. Struggling to crawl out of one of those bruises...

"Some time around then, I did have to stun them. Calming draughts can only do so much...

"Anyway, I started investigating and discovered the spider was transfigured from a sliver of wood. Apparently someone stuck splinters through their skin and then transfigured them into spiders. When the spiders awoke, they started trying to free themselves, biting anything they could and releasing digestive juices...

"There were dozens in each of them. Someone must have spent hours doing that to them...

"So the bruises were really dermal lesions, filled with blood and partially digested tissue- a fluid containing transfigured material in direct contact with their bloodstreams..."

"And you sent them to St. Mungo's so the transfiguration sickness specialists could treat them", McGonagall finished for her. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'll start an investigation. Let me know when you get an update on their conditions."

* * *

Charity Burbage walked into her classroom before breakfast and sat at her desk, intending to go over her plans for her first muggle studies lesson. At first she ignored the sounds; they were relatively quiet and she'd learned to ignore lots of strange sounds at Hogwarts.

The sounds gradually got louder, as if approaching slowly. Eventually, she looked up and listened. Stick. Plop. Stick. Plop.

Once she determined a direction, she stood up and walked to the window, then jumped back in surprise as someone climbed through.

"Mr. Potter? What in the name of Merlin's beard are you doing?"

"Uh... giving you a present and/or testing an hypothesis."

She resisted the urge to sigh or shake her head, "Explain."

"Well, as you know, most modern muggle technology doesn't work at Hogwarts. In the process of investigating that phenomenon, I found that some electronic circuits appear to work normally. I observed that it was as if someone were deliberately interfering with electronics that serve a practical purpose while ignoring circuits that merely demonstrate the underlying physics. I later decided that it was necessary to test that hypothesis, so I made a crystal radio. I stuck the inductor, diode, and earphone to the outside of the window, and I had to climb out to stick an antenna to the side of the castle and run another wire to a stake in the ground. Now, whenever you cast a sonorus charm at the window, your class should hear a live muggle AM radio broadcast. Or not. But either way we'll learn something important about magic."

"I have no idea how to respond to that."

Harry shrugged, "No need to thank me. Science is its own reward." He waved his wand at the window, "sonorus."

The room filled with the sound of static, but a voice came through clearly enough, "... lower temperatures and rain through the weekend. And in the news, today in London..."

* * *

Padma looked up from her breakfast, "So there's one thing I don't understand... Actually there're lots of things I don't understand, but for one, you applied sticking charms directly to muggle technology? I thought using magic on that stuff breaks it?"

"That's a common belief, but it's wrong. If a circuit works around magic at all, it seems to be totally insensitive to magic. Like, it doesn't matter if you hit it with a stunner or levitate it or anything. I even tested some circuits made entirely with transfigured circuit elements. It was probably a placebo effect, but it actually sounded like there was less static with a few cooling charms applied to the radio. Proximity to magic doesn't seem to be a variable."

"So, bottom line, there are some kinds of muggle technology that work fine around magic, while others don't work around magic at all, even though you believe they do pretty much the same things?"

"Exactly."

"Weird. What's the next step?"

"There are two main things I want to try: one is to take some affected electronics, and see how far away from Hogwarts they have to get to work again, and the other is to find schematics for some of the affected electronics, and make my own copies of them. One difference between the things that worked and the things that didn't is that I personally assembled the ones that worked. It's possible that when a wizard builds an electronic circuit, it becomes immune to magic."

At this point, Headmistress McGonagall interrupted breakfast to inform everyone that two students had been hospitalized, and ask anyone with information about the attack to inform a professor or prefect as soon as possible.

"Jugson would've been my first suspect if that had happened to anyone else", someone commented.

"If anyone deserves that, it's him. So it could have been anyone", someone else added.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "No, it couldn't. If the headmistress is asking for information, it means they couldn't identify their attackers, which implies some form of memory charm. The wards would have reported any obliviation performed on school grounds unless it was performed by-", Hermione's eyes widened as she realized what she was saying, "-a professor recognized by the wards!"

Harry added, "I suspect Headmistress McGonagall. She threatened me with fire-beetle-torture once so she's the only person I know for sure has thought about using scaphism as a punishment for students."

The other students stared at him for a second, then shook there heads and went back to their conversations. The consensus was that it was about damn time something like this happened, and that no one who wasn't a terrible person had anything to worry about.

Lisa Turpin smirked, "I suspect Luna. She sneaked out of the dorms last night. What exactly were you doing anyway?"

Luna looked up at the ceiling, "I went to the astronomy tower."

Harry inquired, "You like watching the stars?"

Luna nodded, "Very much. I'm not used to seeing them quite like that. It's fascinating."

Terry Boot faked a shudder, "Ugh, you don't have to get up in the middle of the night like a crazy person. At least not on your own; Professor Sinistra will force you all to do that soon enough."

Harry frowned, "Just because she has interests you think are unusual-"

Terry interrupted, "The word you're looking for is 'crazy'."

Harry rolled his eyes, "I think she has a surprising amount in common with me, actually."

"That's what I said: crazy."

Then Luna added, "There's no point worrying about spiders, anyway. Snakes will chase them away soon enough."

Harry nudged Hermione, "Make a note: that's a falsifiable prediction. A large enough number of snakes in the castle to eat all the spiders. Do small snakes even eat spiders? That's also a falsifiable assertion."

Terry shook his head, "Are you playing off of each other's crazy deliberately, or do your minds just naturally reflect each other like that?"

* * *

Professor Lockhart looked out over the classroom, containing the second year students of all four houses. He took a deep breath and began his lecture. "I was planning to give each class a quiz to see what you've learned so far, but after the first few classes, it became obviously unnecessary. Your previous professors haven't taught you much at all about the dark arts, so we'll pretty much start at the beginning. Even your Quirrell-Monroe professor last year, despite being so well regarded, basically just taught you a little dueling. Your fellow students seem to be convinced that they can handle any dark creature with only two or three spells. I can't imagine how such sloppy teaching was permitted, though given the alleged Defense Against the Dark Arts curse, it's not surprising the best teachers don't apply often. Luckily for all of you, I'm here now, and will be remedying that deficiency starting this year."

"For one, apparently last year's introductory lecture taught that, once you are adults, you will be able to handle any dark creature with a killing curse. This is wrong for several reasons: firstly and most obviously, most wizards can't cast a killing curse. Not a single time as long as they live. Secondly, though wizards who have cast it successfully report finding it easier to cast afterwards, no one can cast it reliably enough to depend on it. It's a spell that depends on one's mental state, so the exact circumstances affect whether or not someone can use it. In a self defense situation, the killing curse will only work if one hates the attacker enough that it truly wouldn't matter whether or not it was self defense. So depending on it in an emergency is dangerously bad planning.

"At this point, you may be thinking about certain individuals known to have used the killing curse frequently, sometimes almost exclusively, when fighting. These examples are, without exception, dark wizards; deeply damaged individuals who simply hate everyone all the time and are using the spell offensively rather than defensively.

"And the final reason why it's wrong to plan to use killing curses against any dark creature you encounter is because nothing stops a killing curse. If you miss, who knows what that curse will hit? Imagine how you would feel if you tried to be hero, but accidentally killed a bystander instead. They certainly don't hand out Orders of Merlin for that.

"One of the most bizarre errors in that lecture was the omission of the nundu from the list of 'most dangerous things in the world' or whatever, and this example serves my point quite well. I have no doubt that a hit from a single killing curse would kill a nundu, if anyone in history had ever managed it... Anyone know why?"

Hermione raised her hand and answered, "Nundus have toxic breath which could kill anyone close enough to aim at them."

"That is the popular opinion, though personally, I'm highly skeptical of the reports suggesting that they have toxic breath. For one, it would be... let's say counterproductive for a top predator to kill all of the prey in its territory. Secondly, that would make them fairly easy to track by following a trail of dead animals through the jungle. No, it's more likely that those disasters are actually the result of magical accidents or outbreaks of some undiagnosed disease, followed by scavenging by hyenas or leopards, but blamed on nundus by sensationalist newspapers.

"Nundus are known to be fast and well camouflaged, and therefore difficult to hit with any spell before they ambush. But it's likely that no one has ever even tried to fire a killing curse at a nundu. Artists typically depicted them as fierce, angry, and dangerous looking animals, but people who have actually seen them and lived typically describe them as giant kittens. There are credible reports that they have a unicorn-like aura; that people who encounter them feel, not terror, but a desire to go over and play with them (which, by the way, is a much more useful tool for a top predator to have). I suspect one would have to be either extremely ignorant or totally dead inside to believe they could use a killing curse on a nundu.

"In case anyone was wondering how they are defeated, the only successful method I've heard is to arrange for many wizards to apparate into the aftermath of an attack, form a line, and march after it, blindly firing stunners. If they see unexpected motion, everyone concentrates fire in that area, and hopefully stuns a nundu. It takes almost a hundred wizards to form a line wide enough to prevent the animal from getting around them and attacking from behind.

"One of the few animals that might be considered more dangerous than a nundu is a basilisk. They're extremely rare, so we won't cover them in detail in this course, but it's relevant to mention that looking into their eyes kills humans (and nearly any other animal). Good luck hitting something with a killing curse when you can't even look at it to focus your hate at it."

Lockhart shook his head in exasperation, "At least your former professor didn't recommend using fiendfyre. That's another brute-force spell that even fewer people can cast, where it would be even more difficult to achieve the required emotional control in an emergency, and with an even higher chance of collateral damage.

"So bottom line, you can't just count on being able to brute-force your way out of a dangerous situation with a few general-use spells. It's important to know the specific abilities, behaviors, and weaknesses of the many magical threats you might face. So we're going to start this year by going through the standard textbook. But don't worry; you didn't but my books for nothing because there will be plenty of time to cover some of the more unusual and interesting situations that came up in the adventures I've written about."

Harry groans and turns to a few former Chaotics, "I predict this class is going to be annoyingly tedious. This is going to be a long year."

* * *

The fourth year Gryffindor-Slytherin Potions class filed into the underground classroom. Fred and George had decided to show up on time for the first class.

"Harry? Hermione?", Fred asked.

"Did you forget what time it is?", George added.

"Or decide you were really sorted into Slytherin about three years ago?"

Harry smiled and shrugged, "Scheduling difficulties."

A Slytherin nudged George, "Speaking of people who forgot what year it is, shouldn't she have graduated by now?"

Their reply was interrupted, "Sit down. Now. For those of you who don't know, last summer Professor Snape left Hogwarts to pursue other opportunities. My name is Rianne Felthorne and I will be teaching Potions this year."

Hermione raised her hand, "Excuse me, Professor, aren't you a little young to be teaching this class?"

Felthorne raised her eyebrows, "Aren't you a little young to be taking this class?"

Fred and Lee snickered while George raised his hand, "Excuse me, Professor, as someone slightly older, I'd like to repeat the question."

She sighed, "Are there more experienced potions masters? Sure. But most wizards who work with potions professionally quickly become very specialized. I know someone who started out brewing a couple of potions to sell to shops around Britain, but some of the commercially available ingredients weren't potent enough, so he started preparing everything himself. Now, he almost never even brews potions, but makes a fortune preparing most of the asphodel and flobberworm available in potions shops in Europe. So very few people have recent experience preparing the wide variety of potions required for a Potions professor.

"Some of the best potions masters prepare custom orders of rare potions. But Hogwarts doesn't pay enough to be competitive with what an experienced potions master would make on their own. We were really lucky to have Professor Snape here as long as we did. Lots of people used to gossip about how Snape had some secret influence over Dumbledore, but really, Dumbledore must have had more influence over Snape to keep him here. I probably shouldn't say this, but I kind of suspect they were secret lovers. And Snape just couldn't stay at Hogwarts after Dumbledore disappeared."

She paused, then started again, "Anyway, at the start of each class, you will turn in homework, which will be include two essays. One will be about what you learned in the previous class, including any problems you had or anything that was difficult to interpret from the instructions and what, if anything, you believe you should have done differently. The other will be about how to prepare that day's potion, including the steps in the book and additional details on the steps involved as appropriate."

Fred grimaced, "So, you basically want us to copy pages from the book for every class?"

"I'm not going to pretend to be as skilled as Professor Snape was at stopping dangerous incidents from occurring. I doubt that anyone matches his combination of magical strength and potions expertise. So it's more important for me to stop you from making mistakes. I would just tell you to read the book to prepare for each lesson, but I know most of you wouldn't bother. This way, if you don't prepare, or don't show up to class, you fail. And you get to spend detentions cleaning this place up. If you screw around in class, assuming you survive, you will be expelled. Any other questions?"

After the introductory lecture, which took the rest of the class period, Hermione whispered, "Who thought it was a good idea to hire an 18 year old with no teaching experience to be a high school teacher?"

Harry whispered back, "Seriously. This is going to be a long year. I can't wait for summer when the professors are available for independent study again."

* * *

Professor Vector walked into the Arithmancy classroom. While her gaze quickly swept across the students, Harry thought he saw a smirk when she looked at him. This was probably not a good sign.

She began, "This will probably be the only class where you're specifically told not to read ahead in the textbook."

Harry and Hermione frowned simultaneously.

Vector continued, "If you read ahead, you'll generally just see gibberish with math occasionally thrown in. That's because this is the only course at Hogwarts that teaches material protected by Merlin's Interdict. Unless you happen to get a competent but renegade Defense teacher... The material taught here isn't particularly dangerous, so no one really knows why it's protected. And it's important enough to magical society that the ministry wants to prevent it from being lost. But, the assumption is that there's a very good reason for protecting this material, therefore only certified arithmancy teachers allowed to teach it. If anyone else even tells someone about the real course content, ministry obliviators will resolve the situation, and that individual will no longer be in this class.

"It shouldn't be surprising that we only want to teach this to the best students, therefore we ensure that everyone believes this is the most difficult course taught at Hogwarts. And of course, the easiest method to achieve that is to make this actually be the most difficult course at Hogwarts. Everyone will frequently see you working on Arithmancy homework because you will frequently be working on Arithmancy homework. If anyone has a problem with secrecy or hard work, it is perfectly acceptable for you to leave now."

She gestured toward the door and paused for a few seconds. The students looked around the room, but no one stood.

"Okay, then. So what does the field of arithmancy really cover? Two main topics: one is finding variants of common spells that serve specific purposes." She pointed her wand at a block of wood on her desk, closed her eyes for a second, then cast diffindo. She then pushed a the block, showing the students that it had been cut evenly into four pieces. "The most commonly known spell variants are shielding charms, which can be cast in practically countless ways that use more or less power to block specific combinations of spells and objects, though students in Defense courses are typically taught how to use a variety of shield charms without knowing how it all works.

"The other main topic involves charming objects interacting analytical charms and active charms. Can anyone think of an example of such a thing?"

Someone in the front row raised a hand, "I have a pouch that ejects whatever object I ask for. That has to have a charm that analyzes when someone requests something and then accio it or something."

"It's more complicated than that, but yes, that's a good example."

Harry raised his hand, "Will you be teaching how to apply flying broomstick charms?"

"Yes, there are a few basic sets of broomstick charms in the textbook. Obviously, brand name brooms have more complex sets of charms that aren't public knowledge."

After responding to a few more examples, Vector continued, "So, two things before getting down to the real material: first, be extremely careful doing anything with confundus charms after you learn them. There are a lot of applications that will get you a free vacation in Azkaban tower. Basically, if you're thinking about putting a confundus on an object, think hard about whether there's an alternative way to get the effect you're looking for, and if you can't, ask me, Headmistress McGonagall, or Professor Flitwick whether it's acceptable."

A student asked, "Then why isn't confundus an unforgivable curse?"

"There are lots of benign or extremely useful applications for confundus charms that can't be accomplished any other way. For example, muggle-repelling charms, or the Fidelius charm, which I expect many of you have heard of, are basically a series of confundus charms that prevent certain people from investigating or even perceiving a specific area or its contents."

"Then why does the Fidelius charm require a secret keeper?" Hermione asked.

"Basically, applying multiple confundus charms to an object becomes increasingly difficult because each charm alters one's perception of that object. In order to cast the Fidelius spell, it's necessary to exempt everyone casting it from the effects. There's also an interaction between the charms and those who are exempt, such that it's considered to be impossible for all of them to enter the affected area simultaneously without canceling the effect.

"Now, the last thing for today: we're going to spend the rest of this period going over the fake-divination nonsense that the ignorant will read in an arithmancy textbook so you can sound knowledgeable and boring whenever anyone asks you about the subject. For homework, read the first chapter before next week, write answers to the questions, and be prepared to demonstrate at least one modified version of a standard spell."

As soon as the class ended, Harry jumped up, "Hurry up, let's get to the library and start working on the first chapter. This year is going to be fun!"

* * *

Headmistress McGonagall entered the library and walked over to Harry, "Mr. Potter, I have to ask this: were you responsible for what happened to Jugson and Sloper?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny-" At this point, Hermione elbowed him hard enough for him to yell. "I had nothing to do with it", he said, rubbing his arm. "And I have to ask, were you responsible? As has pointed out, only a professor could have avoided both leaving their memories intact and triggering the wards. It also occurred to me that they may have tried to get Professor Lockhart fired, and last year you threatened me..."

She closed her eyes and shook her head, "No Mr. Potter..." Her eyes snapped open and she exclaimed, "Professor Sprout!"

"What?"

"She was acting very strange this morning. I'll have to call Alastor and ask him to check on her."


	8. Planning Ahead

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 8: Planning Ahead

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world, but has made significant progress: Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors, and Bones is grudgingly taking his cues on national policy. Progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities and a temporary solution is being set up in the now-abandoned Azkaban tower. Harry has built up a relatively long list of things he needs to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, magic-technology interactions, and helping Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like revisiting his conclusions about comed-tea, looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem, and looking into whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped. Moody, Bones, McGonagall, and Hermione were all concerned when Harry advocated releasing Voldemort from the ring in order to question him about the mirror and help rescue Dumbledore.

Sprout has mysteriously received a gift: the long-lost and apparently cursed Hufflepuff Cup and has displayed uncharacteristically aggressive behavior. She had requested Hermione's help with research of a vaguely defined nature. Draco, after having found the Riddle Diary, is showing some very Voldemort-like thoughts and behaviors, working to amass power and followers for himself, and brutally knocking down anyone who gets in his way.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. Bellatrix is still at large and able to appear in public despite being Magical Britain's most wanted. The inmate assumed to be Pettigrew has disappeared, leaving questions about his true identity and possible crimes.

* * *

"I checked Sprout for evidence of recent legilimency or memory charms and came up empty", Moody began. "Nothing indicating a confundus either, though you wouldn't expect it after several hours. I did see a trace of dark magic, but it wasn't from an imperius. It looked more like an after-effect of possession."

The others stared in silence for a moment, processing the ramifications.

McGonagall spoke first, "So Voldemort isn't defeated after all?"

Moody replied, "He's not the only one in the world who could've made a horcrux and there may be other ways to possess someone with dark magic. But Voldemort is the only one I know for certain has that ability and, of the dark wizards who may be capable of such things, he's the most likely to want to infiltrate Hogwarts." He stared at Harry, "Ring on the table. Now."

While Harry complied. Moody snapped, "We all heard you talk about wanting to let him out. Is there anything you want to tell us?"

Harry sighed, "I know how dangerous Voldemort is and I'm not reckless or insane. I still think we should consider waking him and trying to learn what Interdicted magic he's acquired, but I won't do it unless it's in a heavily-warded area with lots of aurors (and probably trained snipers) ready to act. And unless at least one of you agrees that it was worth the risk."

Moody grunted and ignored everyone for a few minutes while he checked the wards on the ring. Eventually he concluded, "There's no indication that the transfiguration was interrupted or that the wards were tampered with." He turned to Harry, handing back the ring, "How sure are you that Voldie couldn't possess someone with a horcrux while still being trapped in there?"

Harry shook his head, "I don't know exactly how his horcruxen work or what he can do with them. He claimed that they were connected together and kept up-to-date copies of his memories. They should have all been obliviated along with him, but I suppose it's possible he had some safeguard to prevent that. But he also claimed he had the Resurrection Stone, that it would allow him to project a spirit wherever he wished, and that he'd torture everyone I care about. It's been months, so either he's trapped, he lied about his abilities, or he lied about his intentions. How sure are you that Sprout was possessed, rather than exposed to some other dark magic? And more simply, if you scanned a thousand people, how many would you expect to show some trace of dark magic? Is it a perfect indicator that someone's either done something wrong or been victimized, or are there more mundane explanations as well? And if it's a good indicator, why isn't it more common to check for it?"

Bones answered, "You're right; it's not a perfect test. I'll get someone to do some research and try to find a better charm for detecting whether someone has been possessed."

"A spell for locating a disembodied dark wizard or object imbued with dark magic would also be helpful. Unless you already know of one?" Harry asked.

Bones shook her head, "I'll put it on the list. Is there anything else we need to discuss today?"

Moody answered, "There's some good news: the first terminal patients have been treated with the stone. You've probably noticed the new building just outside the wards; it's not being used for anything. I had floo connections set up in a couple abandoned buildings in Muggle London to be the arrival and departure rooms. For now, I'm planning to change the floo code once per week, and the physical location once per month. So far, a few doctors at St. Mungo's and the largest hospitals in France and Ireland are being kept up to date on the floo code for the arrival room. I'm recommending the other hospitals in each region transfer their hardest cases to the largest hospitals to minimize the number of people who need to know there's a secret hospital or how to get to the arrival room.

"And finally, we should really consider meeting somewhere else. Scanning this place for magical traps or listening devices takes forever with all the random magic crap in this office."

Harry smiled, "I recommend my office. You're already scanning it regularly, and this gives me an excuse to get a floo connection installed."

After the meeting, even though Harry didn't believe it probable that Voldemort had returned to Hogwarts, he couldn't stop thinking about ways Voldemort may have escaped or what he would be doing if he had. He didn't sleep well that week.

* * *

Robert Jugson, who had avoided the infirmary for most of his years at Hogwarts, had returned for the third time in a single week. "What do you mean you don't have anything for this? You're supposed to have potions for everything. And it itches all the time. I need something."

"I told you: there's nothing physically wrong, so there's nothing I can treat. But I can give you a potion for anxiety."

"I'm not crazy! It's real- what about this rash?" He pulls back his sleeve, showing red marks across his upper arm. "It's even started bleeding."

"It looks like you did that to yourself by scratching. I can give you a skin repairing salve but you should start taking a calming potion."

"What about these things coming out of the cuts?"

She waves here wand and mutters an analytic charm, "They're fabric fibers. From your robes or bedsheets or something."

Jugson cursed under his breath and left the hospital wing. Draco, who had been in the hallway nearby, started walking alongside him, "I've heard about your recent problems. I assume you've started planning revenge on him."

"What?! Who? Not Sloper, he's just as bad off."

"You were with Sloper after hours. And you apparently weren't fighting each other. How many interests do you have in common with him? It's not hard to guess what you were doing."

Jugson stopped and faced Draco, scowling and crossing his arms menacingly.

Draco ignored this and continued, "So ask yourself: of all the people you know, who would have fought you, especially with such an unconventional attack? Who's famous for doing whatever the hell he feels like and getting away with it?"

Jugson's eyes widened, "Potter! ...Wait, I thought he was your friend."

Draco shrugged, "There were hints from the beginning that he's going to be a powerful dark lord. I was prepared to support him. I intended to ride that power to the top. I'm sure you understand. But he's always used my offers of friendship to manipulate me when it's in his interest and ignored me when I suppose I'm not providing enough value or amusement. If he acts this way as a 12 year old...", Draco shuddered, "some day, this country will be covered with mass graves, containing his former enemies and former allies alike."

"Someone should stop him before it's too late."

Draco nodded. "I intend to do what I can, but it's going to take some time to build support and devise a plan. Can I count on your support when it's time?"

* * *

"...so it's not that Lockhart didn't make some good points, I'm just not looking forward to learning pointless minutia about things that aren't dangerous to anyone with a quantum of common sense", Harry concluded.

Penelope Clearwater nodded, "It's not surprising you feel that way. Those of us who have been at Hogwarts longer remember some of the truly incompetent Defense professors. You've not only been spoiled by a having a good one, he also kind of wanted to be a dark lord, much like yourself, so it's pretty unlikely you'll have another Defense professor that you like as well as Professor Quirrell."

Harry shrugged, "Whatever. Anyway, I'll find a way to make the class educational even if I have to teach Professor Lockhart the true meaning of chaos. Especially if."

Suddenly distracted, Harry opened his notebook and sighed. He turned it toward Hermione and quietly said, "I've forgotten to do most of my comed-tea tests this week. Could you start reminding me at dinner? I'll find another memory aid too. That should provide enough redundancy to perform the experiment."

Hermione just shrugged.

After a pause, Padma said, "Speaking of chaos in the Defense class, the first year class must have been pretty entertaining. I heard Luna tried to convince the professor that people can use the killing curse without hating the target."

Harry managed to not choke, but frowned at Luna, "Why would you say that?"

"Because it's true, of course. Although I suppose you meant to ask why I would give that information to anyone. I didn't really think of that at the time; it was just so peculiar that the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor didn't know better."

Across the Great Hall, Draco decided to spend more time observing Harry Potter's activities. He slowly drew his wand and subtly cast a directional hearing charm. He kept his head down and pretended to focus on his meal while trying to keep his ear correctly angled to overhear Potter's conversation.

"...be surprising. Anyone can teach the material in a textbook. Professor Lockhart may have been on some cool adventures, but that doesn't mean he knows much about the Dark Arts. It's been suggested that he's been relying on a supply of Felix Felicis to do everything he's..."

Draco winced and canceled the charm as some yelling idiot walked into his line-of-hearing. No matter; that had been surprisingly informative for what was probably a generic conversation about coursework. He resolved to be extremely careful around Lockhart, and finalized his potion-brewing plans. Several useful potions take quite a while to brew, and any intelligent person starts preparing such things well before one needs them...

"So you think you're better at flying than me?", Ron yelled, interrupting the Ravenclaws' discussion. Harry calmly took a bite of food without looking up. "Hey, I'm talking to you, Potter!"

Harry swallowed the food and slowly turned, "Am I just supposed to assume you're talking to me whenever you yell something?" He deliberately looked down at his watch, "I really don't have the time for that; I'm a busy person, you know."

"You think you're better at flying than me!"

Harry rolled his eyes, "I was last year, but it's not like I've spent much time practicing. So now, who knows."

Ginny, who had followed her brother from the Gryffindor table, helpfully added, "Ron's about to try out for the Gryffindor quidditch team. A group of Slytherins keep telling everyone that if he makes the team, then with you, Gregory, and Cedric on the other teams, Gryffindor will come in last place."

Harry glared at Ron, "That doesn't explain why he's yelling at me instead of at them."

Ron clarified, "Are you going to race me or not?"

Harry replied, "Why not? Just write out all the rules, like what brooms we have to use, the course you want to follow, any areas that are out of bounds, how the start of the race will be indicated, who will judge or otherwise how we determine the winner, etc. and get it to me at least a week before the actual race so I can go over it."

"Rules? Why can't we just race?"

"If there aren't written rules, then if I win, you'll accuse me of cheating. You'll claim that some random thing or another was obviously against the unspecified rules and demand a rematch. I'm skipping that part and requiring the rules to be specified in advance."

Ron stared at Harry and muttered, "I challenge him to a race and he gives me bloody homework."

Harry turned his back on Ron, "Hermione, do you want to work on another electronics experiment? I'm thinking about walking around just inside the Hogwarts wards to see if my watch or calculator will turn on anywhere."

Hermione replied, "I'm really busy; there are some things I really need to work on. And do you really think that's a two person job?"

Harry shrugged, "Honestly, I just can't remember the last time you went outside. And today might be the last time the weather is this nice until spring."

Ginny interjected, "I can help!"

"Hermione's right; it really isn't a two person job. And I don't think it has a high likelihood of producing novel data anyway." Harry pushed his plate away and stood up.

"But that's the same reason why we should race now!", Ron argued.

Harry smirked as he walked away.

* * *

"... And that's why you should always wear gloves and eye protection when working with acid slugs", Lockhart concluded. Read and summarize chapter two from the standard text and begin reading my Guide to Household Pests by next week.

While everyone was leaving , Harry walked to the professor's desk. "I need to borrow a target drone."

"What?"

"The spheres stored in the ceiling that are charmed to float around and absorb spells for people practicing dueling. I need to borrow one for... a project in another class."

Lockhart glanced at the ceiling, noticing the hatch for the first time, then looked at Harry and smiled, "Let me guess: after Professor Quirrell's class, you're disappointed that you haven't gotten to shoot anyone or anything in Defense class this year, and you want to practice on your own?"

"It really is for another class... but you're not wrong."

Lockhart cast a levitation charm and pulled at the hatch in the ceiling while talking, "Well, you can take a target if you like, but you should know, I do have some ideas for more... hands-on activities for class." The hatch finally fell open and Lockhart cast a quick accio, pulling out one of the spheres.

"Such as?"

He smiled wider, "I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise." He handed Harry the sphere.

Harry nodded, put the target drone in his pouch, and walked away.


	9. Philosophy (Omake)

Harry and Luna Discuss Philosophy for Some Reason (Omake)

* * *

"This feels like the start of a new chapter", Luna stated.

Padma asked, "You mean, like things are changing? I remember feeling like that when I first came to Hogwarts."

"I meant the story that we're in just turned a page and started a new chapter, with a new number and title and everything. It's odd though; I'm not sure what the number is."

"Luna, this isn't a story. This is the real world", Hermione said slowly.

Luna looked at Hermione and tilted her head, "What do you think you know and how do you think you know it?"

Harry smiled, showing his teeth, then added, "Heroes and villains with magic and monsters and in a castle and with noble titles; it sounds like a story, doesn't it."

Hermione frowned at Harry, "You're not having trouble with the difference between reality and fantasy are you? Because you getting schizophrenia would be really, really bad."

"If you're living in a story, then the story is real to you", Luna added helpfully.

Padma shook her head, "No, no, no, no, no. It was bad enough last week when Harry tried to convince us we're probably all living inside of a muggle computer; don't you start trying to convince us we're fictional characters."

Harry lectured, "That's the result of a straightforward application of Bayes' Rule, with some reasonable assumptions about a mature civilization's ability to simulate intelligent beings and the number of simulated intelligences that would be created by a typical civilization, both directly and recursively. And when the existence of magic is added to the calculation, it raises the probability that all of this is a simulation even more."

Luna replied, "And what happens to that calculation when you use the number of stories and characters instead of simulations and simulated people? I think there are more of those."

"That's different; the characters in stories aren't conscious like we are", Hermione challenged.

"So you're an expert on detecting consciousness now?" Harry teased. "Then tell me, is there something so special about calcium ion channels and neurotransmitters?"

Hermione sighed, "I guess I could believe that a simulation could be conscious, but not a fictional character."

"So then, if you're okay with a conscious mind based on meat or one based on silicon, does it matter if the computer is made of something else; vacuum tubes or electromagnetic relays, for example?"

"I suppose not."

"Then what about something more exotic? It's been proposed that in any given universe Boltzmann brains will vastly outnumber evolved intelligences. They're created by quantum fluctuations in cold gas that randomly happen to produce a self-aware entity for the short period of time they remain intact."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" Padma asked. Hermione also looked skeptical.

Harry waved dismissively, "Then forget that. Take the computer simulation and imagine that, instead of a physical computer, there's a person doing the calculations, whether they're encoding the results with a pencil and paper or maybe by lining up rocks in an extremely large plain."

Hermione looked thoughtful, "Maybe the rule should be that conscious entities can use any physical structure, unless it requires another conscious entity; then its thoughts are really part of that entity's consciousness."

"That doesn't work", Harry replied. "Imagine you're doing a pencil-and-paper simulation of two entities having a conversation in Chinese. You don't know Chinese, right? You could simulate the entire conversation without having any idea what it was about. So those entities' thoughts wouldn't exist in your own mind."

"Oh. That's just strange. I don't think it's right."

"I think part of the problem is that it's easy to imagine consciousness being located inside of a brain or even a processor, but it's hard to imagine consciousness located on a piece of paper or in a graphite smudge."

Hermione nodded.

"But you could simulate an entity using multiple computers networked together; for example, with its visual cortex in one country and a cell cluster from its left frontal lobe in another. Any time you believed you knew where the conscious part was, you could physically separate those calculations and repeat until each computer simulated a single cell. Or atom. It's an error to picture consciousness located at any specific physical location."

Hermione replied, "I don't know. Something has to be wrong with that; I just haven't thought of what yet."

Padma concluded, "I think you're all nuts. I'm going to assume only humans and human-like creatures can be intelligent or conscious until I meet something else that acts like it."

"It is difficult to picture the causal relationship between writing numbers on paper and a conscious entity's thoughts. So maybe simulating the math at a low level isn't really necessary; maybe it's enough to develop a universe and a character and write their thoughts and behavior."

"Where and how are you drawing a line between the plausible and the ridiculous scenarios you've mentioned? Or do you think everything is conscious, and that Luna's right that we're more likely to be in a story than in real life?"

"It does seem silly that fictional characters (or pencil-and-paper simulated entities) would produce consciousness. Maybe it's all about the mathematics; for any mathematically consistent universe that would produce intelligent beings, those beings are conscious and aware of that universe, whether anyone's simulating it or not. That also solves the problem of where everything came from: it doesn't have to come from anywhere, it just has to be logically consistent."

Padma shook her head, "I can't tell if you're being serious or not."

Harry smiled, "Yeah, I'm not really sure anymore."

"I'm not really sure, either", added the author.


	10. Defense and Offense

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 10: Defense and Offense

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world, but has made significant progress: Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors, and Bones is grudgingly taking his cues on national policy. Progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities and a temporary solution has been set up in the now-abandoned Azkaban tower.

Sprout has mysteriously received a gift: the long-lost and apparently cursed Hufflepuff Cup and has displayed uncharacteristically aggressive behavior afterwards. Moody detected evidence of dark magic on her but found nothing conclusive. Sprout had requested Hermione's help with research of a vaguely defined nature. Draco, after having found the Riddle Diary, is showing some very Voldemort-like thoughts and behaviors, working to amass power and followers for himself, and brutally knocking down anyone who gets in his way.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. Bellatrix is still at large and able to appear in public despite being Magical Britain's most wanted. The inmate assumed to be Pettigrew has disappeared, leaving questions about his true identity and possible crimes.

Harry has a relatively long list of things he intends to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, magic-technology interactions, and helping Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like revisiting his conclusions about comed-tea, looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem, and looking into whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped. Moody, Bones, McGonagall, and Hermione were all concerned when Harry advocated releasing Voldemort from the ring in order to question him about the mirror and help rescue Dumbledore.

* * *

Harry took a deep breath and addressed the arithmancy class. "I'm sure you're all familiar with this object, as it's one of the dueling targets from Battle Magic. They use several standard magic-detecting charms which, when activated, trigger one of two noisemaking charms: if the spell impacts a roughly circular area, it triggers the higher pitched sound, and if the impact area is elongated, it triggers the lower pitched sound.

"When I chose this project, I was especially interested in how the targets hover. It turns out that the spheres are hollow, and have a long, thin rod attached to the inside. That rod carries a hover charm which I believe to be one of the spells applied to flying brooms. It lacks any charms required to make it move forward, turn, or anything else; it's apparently designed to be moved manually with hover charms.

"When activated...", Harry tapped the sphere with his wand, "it casts a relatively complicated set of shielding charms, including at least six variations of protego, which result in that blue color. The outer shields protect it from cutting curses, blasting curses, heat, shield breakers, and spells which dispel magic (like finite incantatem). I can't get analytic charms to read anything deeper than that while the shields are active, but the magical power output indicates that it would probably take a trained auror to break through the shields. These things were designed absorb some serious attacks.

"The most interesting thing I found is", Harry tapped the sphere again, "when deactivated, this red color is associated with a spell that I haven't been able to identify. The analytical charms indicate that it has a small but negative power output. I haven't found a book that mentions anything like this, but I believe it's slowly recharging its internal magic stores off of Hogwarts' ambient magic. I tried to find some information on how old the spheres are, but haven't found evidence of a Defense professor buying or requesting anything like them in the last two decades. So either that paperwork is gone or they've lasted much longer than most charmed objects that channel this much power. That's weak evidence that they have the ability to recharge."

Professor Vector stood and walked over, waving her wand in the direction of the sphere, "Very interesting, Mr. Potter. I've never heard of a charm like that either, but I'm curious. I'll have to do some research." She shook her head slightly and turned to face the class, "Mr. Weasley, you're next."

Percy produced a Quick-Quotes-Quill and began describing a set of charms enabling a voice recognition ability that would make any muggle programmer jealous. Harry wanted to pay attention but found himself distracted. He reread the note several times, trying to make sure he'd remember its contents. Once in a while, he would absent-mindedly try to put the note into his pouch, only to have his focus restored by the sharp jerk of the string which tied the note to his finger.

After the presentations were finished and the class was dismissed, Harry walked up to Professor Vector's desk. "Mr. Potter?"

Harry frowned and glanced back at the note he was carrying, "I wanted to ask you about confundus charms. Specifically, if you know a way to detect or analyze them. I think I bought something with a confundus on it, and want to confirm and determine exactly what it's doing."

She shook her head, "I generally avoid confundus charms; there's just too many things that can go wrong when working with them. But you can use 'nullus confundio' to dispel a confundus charm from a person or an object. I believe the instructions are in the fourth or fifth year Charms textbook. If the object behaves differently after you cast one of those, that's proof it was using a confundus."

Harry nodded, "I'd rather leave that as a last resort, but thank you."

* * *

Professor Felthorne addressed the second-year Gryffindor-Slytherin potions class, "Today, we'll be making something more practical than usual: doxycide. For totally unrelated reasons, instead of banishing your potions after I've tested them, you'll be storing them in the containers provided."

Nott raised his hand and asked, "So who has the doxy infestation?"

"Why would you think someone has a doxy infestation?"

"We're saving a potion for the first time, and a lot of potion, judging by the size of that pile of containers. Also, instead of using Essence of Doxy like you'd get from a potions shop, we're making our own by crushing these doxy skeletons. So someone has a doxy problem."

"You're right; some of my relatives recently obtained a fairly large property with a fairly serious infestation. It's best to poison them all at once so they can't learn to recognize and avoid the poison. So the plan is to spread a ton of it and invite a bunch of people over for target practice."

There were no further questions and the class began preparing the ingredients for the potion.

* * *

Professor Flitwick opened his office door, "Good morning, Harry. Come in."

"Good afternoon, professor. I'm looking for analytic charms to..." There was a pause as Harry rechecked the note in his hand, "detect confundus charms and what they're set up to do."

Flitwick smiled, "Is there a specific object you suspect is charmed with a confundus?"

Harry put one hand near the mouth of his pouch and read off the note, "can of comed-tea." He looked back up at Flitwick, paused, then shook his head, looked at the can and put it on Flitwick's desk.

Flitwick chuckled, "I don't need an analytic charm to see that's confunded to try to prevent someone from thinking about it. You've clearly been putting significant effort into fighting it." He pulled out his wand and waved it over the can for a moment. "That's strange. It's not charmed to prevent people from thinking about it; it uses a confundus to make people either want to drink it or not want to drink it. It can also put an inhibition-lowering confundus on anyone nearby." He scanned the can for another moment. "There's very complex web of charms to trigger those effects and another set of effects that apply after someone starts drinking. I'd normally suggest asking Professor Vector to look at something with a web of interacting spells like this but you probably already did. She probably wanted to break the confundus just to be safe. But I don't see anything that would cause what you appear to be experiencing."

"At the beginning of this year, I decided to try to drink it at regular times to investigate what it did. I'd guess that it can't determine the difference between me thinking about it versus thinking about drinking it anymore, so it's interrupting either thought. Anyway, can you show me the analytic charms you were using?"

At that moment a cat patronus appeared, "Filius, there's been an explosion in the potions classroom. There were a few minor injuries, but Rianne is magically exhausted. I need you to try to figure out what happened and make sure there are no more volatile potions."

"The library has an multi-volume encyclopedia of analytic charms in the advanced charms section; look for the 'confundus' section", Flitwick quickly concluded as they exited his office.

* * *

Moody stepped through the floo, "I found a pair of spells that should work for detecting whether someone is currently possessed or has been possessed in about the last 18 hours. So from now on, we're going to do a little extra verification before meetings, to make sure we're all us."

Harry replied, "Uh... it's probably a good idea, but before you start, you should know that there's a good chance Hermione and/or I will produce false positives as a result of some of the magic we've been exposed to."

Moody stared at Harry, "Really."

Harry shrugged, "A remembrall could detect what what Voldemort did to me nine years after the fact. I'd imagine a spell designed to detect horcrux effects would do at least as well."

"And her? What did Voldemort do to her?"

"It's possible that it will appear that she's possessing herself as a result of the process that brought her back to life."

"Noted." Moody pointed his wand at Harry and began casting spells.

A moment later he concluded, "Your paranoia was not justified. This time. The scans were both negative."

He shifted his wand to point at Hermione. A moment later he frowned and her wand flew across the table to Moody. Hermione let out a brief scream.

Harry and McGonagall both immediately drew on Moody, who looked up at Harry and smiled, "I provisionally believe you now."

"What the hell was that?" McGonagall demanded.

"She tested positive for current possession, like Harry predicted. I had to make sure it really was a special circumstance and not Voldemort spying on our meetings. So I used a quick legilimency probe to break her occlumency barriers and check."

Harry scowled, "Her occlumency barriers aren't that strong."

"And if Voldemort were possessing her, he'd know that and be able to imitate weak barriers failing under an attack. I had to look for an occlumency barrier under the occlumency barrier."

"Voldemort is a perfect occlumens. That test wouldn't mean anything."

"True, but I know a few tricks that I'd expect Voldemort to get wrong."

There was more disagreement during which everyone was outraged about something and no one's opinion changed. After this, Bones scanned Moody, and Moody finished scanning the others and the meeting started.

Bones began, "So, I have worse news than usual. A low-level ministry employee reported his time turner missing. He claimed to have no idea what happened, so investigators went through his memories with a pensieve and discovered that it was stolen by Bellatrix Black in Diagon alley. During follow-up questioning, he recalled a woman bumping into him and apologizing before walking away. He repeated this under veritaserum, despite the pensieve showing Bellatrix (completely undisguised and looking identical to her wanted posters), walk up, trip him, and pull the time-turner off his neck, then sneer at him and apparate away."

Hermione asked, "Does that mean he was memory charmed?"

"No, a badly done memory charm will look faded or foggy in a pensieve, but I've never heard of a case where someone believes something different than what they remember."

Harry added, "But one of the main uses of pensieve is to recover details people can't remember anymore. That implies they're displaying information that people don't have conscious access to. Someone might consciously recall a version of a memory that their mind reconstructed, while a more accurate memory of the same event is stored somewhere else."

Moody replied, "I have actually seen that before, when someone strongly believes something then sees something that contradicts that belief, the real memory will show up on a pensieve but they'll insist under veritaserum that it didn't. Of course, normally that means you've got an occlumens. But there have been two cases where I knew that the person wasn't."

Harry asked, "Why did a low-level ministry employee have a time turner, anyway?"

Bones sighed, "Unspeakables are under the authority of the Ministry, not the Wizengamot. I'm working on it."

Harry smirked, "After becoming a major player in the government, I keep seeing more dangers in democracy and finding myself wishing this country were more like a dictatorship. I should probably be more concerned about this." Only Hermione actually appeared to be concerned by this.

Bones looked at McGonagall apologetically, "If I get my way, time-turners won't be available for students either."

Harry waved off this concern, "Scheduling classes without conflicts can't be that difficult. If nothing else, I can ask my dad to use his computer to brute-force a solution. That shouldn't take a very complicated program, and even if it needs 12 hours to run, he can start it before going to work."

McGonagall looked at Harry skeptically, "Have you really had that much success making muggle technology and magic work together?"

"We don't need them to. I can get a punch-card reader, and we can have students select the classes they want on punch cards."

"I don't know what that means, but I don't think I'm going to like it."

"We can try a small-scale test later. Maybe over Christmas break."

"Perhaps. Anyway, Amelia, what is the Ministry doing to catch Bellatrix?"

"Very little. There were already auror patrols at Diagon Alley and other crowded places. There were already aurors tasked with finding her, though I've told you about every lead they've gotten. They've also been watching the homes of suspected death-eater sympathizers, but of course, some of them have decent wards, so we wouldn't notice anyone apparating in and out, much less be able to identify them."

Harry asked, "Aren't there spells for finding someone? It doesn't seem to be a problem for an owl or a patronus."

Bones shook her head, "If anyone knows how to use those tracking spells for themselves, they're keeping it secret. Next you'll probably ask about using those things directly. There's an obvious problem with trying to will your happy thought to go to a dangerous criminal you intend to capture or kill. And I'm guessing you've never tried to follow an owl; they tend to disappear when you look away or even blink."

"Luckily, we have someone here who doesn't blink."

Moody snorted, "They apparate. They still wait for my normal eye to blink for some reason, but they disappear with the same magical signature as wizards apparating away. And it's possible to put up wards to block owls; we tried owling lots of fun stuff to the death eaters, unfortunately they were expecting it after the nasty surprises they'd owled to the Ministry. We stopped after they found a way to redirect the owls to random innocent people. Luckily that was around the time the Wizengamot was debating what to do about Monroe using the killing curse or the Order might have been under more scrutiny."

"So basically, we need someone to report her while she's still around so we can time-turn and have a team meet her. Luckily, we're not facing the entire group of death-eaters this time. A dozen or so aurors shouldn't have any trouble putting up an anti-apparition jinx and taking her down."

Moody nodded, "A twelve to one advantage sounds good. Usually there aren't that many people available for anything significant. Just make sure they're all familiar with death eater tactics."

McGonagall sighed, "There was also an incident here today. During the second year Slytherin-Gryffindor Potions class, a cauldron exploded. Ms. Felthorne saw an unexpected reaction and was able to cast a shield around it in time, but some of the explosion was released after she passed out from magical exhaustion. Most students had enough time to take cover, but Seamus was treated for a minor burn, and those near the cauldron required treatment for hearing damage. The side of a potions cabinet was broken; it was near the cauldron, so it could have been a result of the explosion, but we believe a significant number of ingredients were taken. I currently believe the explosion was intentional."

Moody scowled, "What was taken?"

"Unfortunately, Ms. Felthorne hadn't performed a thorough inventory of the supplies. If Severus had a list, no one has found it. At the very least, we must assume that they have the ingredients required to set off more explosions."

Moody grunted, "Your Defense professor is probably running low on his liquid luck. He probably only took the professor job here so he could restock on potions supplies. You should fire him before anything else happens."

Harry argued, "I doubt this was the work of a dark wizard. People can buy ingredients at shops in Diagon Alley without raising suspicion. Even if Hogwarts had something very rare, I can't believe that that would be the optimal way to get it. A dark wizard may have used such an incident as a misdirection, but if we don't find anything strange that happened at around the same time, it's more likely a student who aspires to be a dark lord behaving according to that role."

Moody grunted, "I'd agree that Voldemort would've been more subtle. Unless that's what he wanted us to think. But for another dark wizard, one who didn't care about putting children at risk, brute force may have simply been slightly faster or simpler. I've seen Hogwarts Defense professors take lots of senseless risks while putting students in danger. Trust me, it was Lockhart."

Harry asked, "Um, have guys tried to end that curse? Or is everyone just hoping that it will go away on its own?"

Moody rolled his normal eye while the other continued spinning as it normally did, "No. Everyone just enjoyed having a high turn-over of violent, self-destructive, or otherwise doomed professors at Hogwarts."

"You say that sarcastically, but we all know Dumbledore did stranger things. Maybe he thought eventually there'd be a defense professor who would be mysteriously immune. Someone who was destined to teach everyone Defense Against the Dark Arts or something."

McGonagall sighed, "I've talked with Dumbledore about this extensively. Tom Riddle applied for the Defense position soon after Dumbledore became headmaster. Dumbledore originally assumed Riddle was bluffing because the wards would have reported such a curse being cast. The first person he hired to that position was fired for regularly missing classes and the second for coming to class drunk. At that point, Dumbledore just thought that he was bad at hiring people; after all, it was a new responsibility for him.

"After the third Defense professor to be hired within three years was drowned by the giant squid while swimming in Hogwarts Lake, Dumbledore started to wonder if he'd been mistaken. He cast analytic charms in the Defense professor's office and classroom, but found nothing and decided it was just bad luck.

"For the next few years, he confided in a few professors and some of his other allies and they helped him scan for curses over progressively larger areas of the castle. Eventually, he convinced Nicolas Flamel to personally come to Hogwarts to help him. None of them found anything. Flamel believed any curse powerful enough to last for a decade should have been detectable. He admitted there was a chance that a strong curse could be hidden in a rarely-visited section of the castle, but that just raised questions about how to guarantee that someone would get close enough to be affected.

"Dumbledore then considered that Riddle might be coming back to Hogwarts and personally sabotaging the Defense professors. He spent the next few years upgrading the perimeter detection wards. At one point, he was responding to an alarm whenever anything as large as a fly crossed into the wards, but never caught anything other than students sneaking back from Hogsmeade.

"After that, he decided that Riddle must have learned powerful spells that even Flamel was unfamiliar with. Dumbledore already suspected that Riddle had stolen books from the restricted section. He had the professors and his other trusted allies move through Hogwarts and cast 'finite incantatem' as powerfully as possible at basically everything. They had to replace every magical object that wasn't part of the school, and probably depleted a few years' worth of Hogwarts' magical reserves. You already know how well it worked out.

"Later, he tried to think of less conventional ways of defeating the curse. He had one Defense professor change classrooms and offices every month. For a few years, he checked all professors returning to the castle for legilimency or imperius. One year, he resorted to ordering a house elf to invisibly follow and observe the Defense professor. At first the elf reported nothing out of the ordinary. Later the elf found that the professor was abusing cheering potions. Dumbledore ignored it as long as he could, but having an addict as a professor was as catastrophic as you might guess.

"Dumbledore considered that Riddle may have legilimized or otherwise influenced one of the elves to create the curse, so he obtained a pair of new elves and assigned them to watching the Defense professor, with special instructions to watch what the other elves did around that professor. They saw nothing suspicious over the next few years. During the same period, he cast wards to detect any magical creatures entering the castle from the grounds, but they produced no useful results and were apparently difficult to maintain.

"By then, the curse was common knowledge and it was becoming difficult to find anyone qualified and... well, sane to take the job. Dumbledore decided to eliminate the Defense professor position by having the Charms teacher cover dueling (shielding and stunning spells, with some practicing) and a basic overview of dark curses, while the dark creatures in the Defense curriculum were covered by the Care of Magical Creatures professor in required first and second year classes. One day, the Charms teacher went missing. Later, his body was discovered in the Forbidden Forrest. He'd apparently been eaten by acromantulas-"

Moody smirked, "Maybe you're wondering how they found a body if it was eaten?"

"No", Harry replied, "I'm familiar with how spiders eat-"

Moody continued anyway, "Acromantulas inject their victims with stomach acid, then wait a few hours for them to dissolve in their own skin before sucking out the liquefied flesh. When you find a skeleton wrapped in skin with a couple of puncture wounds, you know an acromantula nearby has a full stomach."

McGonagall continued, "Anyway, the replacement Charms teacher stole a time-turner from the ministry and used it to steal valuable magical objects from both the ministry and private houses. Both he and auror assigned to the case ended up committed in St. Mungo's."

Bones shuddered, "It was the worst case of trans-temporal psychosis anyone had seen in three centuries. The DMLE still gets auror recruits who are afraid to touch a time-turner because they've heard rumors about that incident."

Hermione interrupted, "Shouldn't they come with a stronger warning; 'may cause insanity'?"

"They're perfectly safe if used according to the directions distributed with them."

Hermione and Harry didn't appear satisfied with this, but didn't reply, so McGonagall continued.

"At that point, the rumor spread that both the Defense and Charms professorships were cursed. That's how Filius got the Charms job; back then the Hogwarts board of governors would whine any time Dumbledore hired someone who wasn't a pure-blood. They never would have allowed a half-goblin to get hired unless there were an emergency. Luckily for Hogwarts, most major government positions and large companies were similarly bigoted at the time, or he'd likely have been able to get a better, or at least safer, job somewhere else and never applied here."

Moody interrupted, "Speaking of safer jobs, the alleged double-curse almost continued that year when the Defense professor tried to set Flitwick on fire. If he hadn't been a dueling champion, Hogwarts might have never found another decent Charms teacher."

McGonagall concluded, "Because fighting it only seemed to make things worse, Dumbledore resigned himself to having a cursed Defense position. He tended to hire the people he thought were weakest magically and most incompetent, in order to limit the damage they could do. He was mostly hoping the curse would fade away after enough time passed. Unfortunately, the students scored progressively worse on their Defense OWLs. I finally convinced him to hire someone good last year. Of course, we all knew from the beginning that Quirrell would only be available for one year, so I'm hoping that the curse faded years ago, and Dumbledore was unknowingly maintaining it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if you think of any interesting ways one might cause, fix, or ameliorate such a curse, feel free to let me know."

There was a brief silence during which a device behind the desk began emitting a high pitched squeal. Moody drew his wand and nearly blasted it. Bones sighed and said, "I thought we were going to meet somewhere else."

Harry frowned, "Earlier this week, I noticed some things in my office weren't quite were I remembered leaving them and called Mad-Eye to check everything."

Moody added, "I couldn't detect anything odd, but decided it would be best to avoid his office, just in case something escaped my detection. Even though trying to secure this office is like trying to waterproof a sieve."

Harry smirked, "Well, since we won't be using my office, I could take some of these things back there. I'd like to practice using some analytic charms to see what this stuff does and how it does it."

"Take as many of them as you'd like, Mr. Potter", McGonagall replied, a little too quickly.

* * *

At lunch a few days later, Harry was frowning and picking at his food, preoccupied by pondering everything that had happened, bothered by connections his subconscious mind hadn't yet shared.

Padma sat down at the table and asked the nearby students, "So what's with Professor Lockhart's super-secret class today? The third and fourth year students seemed to be either excited or frightened afterward, but no one's talking. Tracey said not even Millicent knows what's going on!"

Harry, who generally disliked surprises that he wasn't responsible for, checked his watch and made a mental note to time-turn back to now and slip himself a note. He waited for a few moments, starting to become annoyed with future-Harry's lack of punctuality.

Padma interrupted his thoughts again, "Hey, where's Hermione?"

Harry continued frowning, "She said she was tired. She went back to her room to lay down until her next class."

"I guess she is taking a lot of classes this term. I've barely seen her outside class or meals and she's usually saying she's busy and running off somewhere. I hope she's not getting burnt out already."

"Yeah, hopefully not. She dropped Divination this week; maybe she'll have a little more free time or rest time or whatever. But she really needs to learn that not every assignment requires full effort; sometimes 'good enough' is good enough."

Dean walked over and asked, "How are your experiments with technology going?"

Harry looked up as his expression brightened- into a less serious frown, "Confusing. I falsify my hypotheses almost as fast as I can generate them. Except for my growing but untestable suspicion that the effect is artificial and deliberate."

"That's disappointing. After you put that radio in the Muggle Studies classroom, I was kind of hoping you'd have a TV working soon. Or at least a music player."

"That's not really the direction I've been focused on. I tried to make a low-power AM transmitter and after that failed, I tried to make a simpler spark-gap transmitter. I couldn't get anything to send a signal that I could receive, even though I had a working AM radio receiver nearby which continued receiving muggle signals while I was trying to transmit. So I've ruled out the hypothesis that wizard-built electronics are exempt from magical interruptions. And I have no idea what radio transmitters, watches, and calculators have in common, if anything."

Ron and Ginny were walking over and caught part of the conversation. Ginny added, "Your calculator and watch didn't work anywhere on the Hogwarts grounds, at least not anywhere I checked. I didn't check the Forbidden Forest, of course."

Harry nodded, "Well, that's the least confusing result I've gotten recently. I guess that's something."

Ron put a scrap of parchment in front of Harry, "There. Rules."

Harry glanced at it and shook his head, "'We get on brooms and race from the south end of Hogwarts Lake to the north end and then back. The first person back wins.' That's all you wrote."

"It's a simple race. What the bloody hell do you want from me?"

"How do you tell who gets back first if it's close? I think one of the first years has a camera; maybe we could rig it to photograph the finish line when someone crosses it. Otherwise we could just appoint someone to judge."

Dean raised his hand, "I'll judge."

Ron smiled, "That's fine with me. Harry?"

"Agreed. We'll also need to find a line judge for the north end."

"What?"

"To make sure everyone actually passes over the northern shore rather than turning early to shorten their path. I assume by 'north end', you meant the northernmost point on the waterline. Technically, that's not a fixed point, but the waves on the lake and any erosion effects are probably small enough to ignore."

"We'll both be there. If 'one of us' cheats, the other will tell everyone."

"Then what stops the loser from claiming the winner cheated regardless of what actually happens?"

"Fine." Ron took a moment to locate the nearest qualified person, "Ginny-"

"I'll do it."

Ron nodded, "Perfect. Let's race."

"Not so fast. We still have to discuss brooms. What are we allowed or not allowed to use? We should probably find two school brooms that are the same model so no one has a special advantage..."

"Aw. I want to use my mysterious new Nimbus 2000."

Padma rolled her eyes and interrupted, "It's not mysterious. Headmistress McGonagall bought it. It seems a bit biased to me, but it's understandable; she was the head of House Gryffindor for a long time."

Harry smirked, "Oh, now I get it. You want me to have to decide between racing with a speed disadvantage or having to buy the most expensive racing broom on the market. That would have been a pretty Slytherin plan if you hadn't so careless as to publicly admit it. You should have just said we can fly with whatever we want."

Ron sputtered for a moment while trying to insist he wasn't careless and wasn't plotting before recovering. His eyes narrowed. "No muggle crap!", Ron practically growled.

Harry chuckled and replied, "You realize brooms are a muggle invention? They were cleaning floors long before wizards made them fly."

"You know what I meant!"

"This is why rules are important, Ron. You may have meant that you don't care what the vehicle is made out of as long as it's propelled using magic rather than by a muggle propulsion device, but you may have also meant that we had to use vehicles where each part is a wizard invention and was constructed by wizards. Or something in between."

"Of course I meant the first one."

"Okay. Then write all that down so we have official, documented rules, then we'll schedule a race."

"Hold on, I'll write it now. We can race after dinner tonight."

Harry shook his head, "I don't actually have a racing broom. I have a three-person heavy-lift broom, but I'm sure you don't really expect me to race against a Nimbus 2000 on that."

"I challenged you days ago. Why didn't you get a broom already?"

"I could say I was busy with more important things or I could say I had to wait for your rules to see what brooms were allowable, and those things would be true, but mostly I thought there was a good chance that if I stalled until after the quidditch tryouts finished, you'd lose interest and stop bothering me. And I've become somewhat curious about the limits of your stubborn annoyingness."

Ron scowled, then sighed, "This weekend we're racing. No more delays." He pulled out a parchment and quill, "Now, repeat everything we decided."

Ginny smiled and held out a piece of paper, "I already wrote it down for you."

After they left, Harry waited a few more minutes, then scowled as he got up and walked away. Future Harry had failed to fulfill his pre-commitment.

* * *

"Do you know anything about what Professor Lockhart has planned?", Neville asked Harry.

"No. I take it you haven't heard anything either."

"No, the rumor mill is suspiciously ill-informed. There have been lots of guesses, but none that are sane."

Ernie added, "The guesses for today are even stranger than the guesses for why he's always eating at his desk before class. Someone's suggested everything between him being affected by a hunger curse and him secretly being some kind of dark creature that makes itself look human."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "He teaches all four houses together for each year like Professor Quirrell did, and he teaches all seven classes on Mondays and Wednesdays in a row without a lunch break. So he eats between classes all day long. He also does office hours and class preparation Tuesdays and Thursday mornings, so he can have a three and a half day weekend every week. Everything doesn't have a mysterious explanation; he just consolidated his free time."

They split up as Harry and Hermione went to the Ravenclaw section of the room and Neville and Ernie to the Hufflepuff section.

Lockhart began, "So I've gathered that learning from a famous hero-slash-author..." He paused and smiled brightly. "...hasn't been enough for some people in my classes. You apparently got used to do lots of hands-on activities in Professor Quirrell's classes. So I planned a fun little activity for today." He paused theatrically and waved his wand, summoning a cage from behind his desk, "Let's see what you make of a swarm of Cornish pixies. The cage is spelled to open in 30 seconds, so you have a little time to think about your tactics."

The students all paused for a second, then turned to look at each other. After a few seconds, Draco, Neville, Daphne, Ernie, Lavender, and Dean, who were all close to the front of the room, cast concentric prismatic spheres around the cage.

The cage opened and the pixies flew out and began pushing against the inner shield. Draco announced, "They're stronger than you'd expect. I suggest we take turns holding them for about a minute, then drop your shield and recast it on the outside. That way we should be able to hold them for an hour without getting exhausted." He turned, grimacing, "And I'm sure we'd all appreciate it if the rest of you came up here to help out."

Lockhart chuckled, "Yes, well... this wasn't intended to be an exercise in keeping a handful of pixies contained. Though your reaction wasn't exactly hard to predict." A swarm of pixies flew up from behind the desk and scattered in all directions, "That's why I prepared two cages. Enjoy."

The students who were in the armies quickly grouped together and shielded themselves. In the Gryffindor section of the room, nearly everyone had fighting experience and most of of them could cast shields. Dean, Seamus, Lavender, and Parvati had been sitting together in the front of the room and decided to alternate shielding each other. Lavender quickly got bored, "Are we really just going to stand here? Drop the shield for a second; I want to shoot something." They discovered that it was relatively safe for three of them to cast a somnium while the fourth prepared to cast a new prismatic barrier. Others quickly copied this tactic.

Fewer people in the Hufflepuff section could cast a shield, so a handful of students produced large shields which kept everyone covered. They were stretched thin and this arrangement wouldn't have held out for long except...

There weren't enough people in Ravenclaw to shield everyone. Some of them managed to reach a shielded area in one of the other sections, but many resorted to running around the room, trying to stay clear of the expanding swarm.

In Slytherin, the response was mixed. Daphne, Tracey, and Theodore copied the Gryffindors, trying to stun the pixies for as long as possible before recasting a shield. Draco, Vincent, and Gregory took turns shielding a large group of students.

Pansy tried to reach a shielded area but arrived too late. She looked around, then ran toward Blaise, who was watching the classroom with an amused expression and had his wand out but hadn't yet cast any spells. "Aren't you going to cast a shield?" she demanded? Blaise smirked, "I think I can do better." He watched a large number of pixies buzz past Ernie's shield, and cast a shield breaker. One shot was all it took to collapse the over-stretch shield. Most of the pixies converged on the area. "This is a fun little activity", he concluded.

Harry, who was at the back of the room where the pixies hadn't yet arrived, turned to Hermione and asked, "You want to take this one or should I?"

"I don't have any great ideas. I thought about transfiguring a tennis racket, but it's probably better to just use shields. I don't really want anyone to see how fast I am."

"Oh. Thinking about all the options you don't want to use is distracting you from thinking about all of the other options. And I can relate; I'd really like to transfigure a small dragon to fly around and eat them, but I haven't been able to transfigure anything living yet. And I'd like to transfigure a flame thrower, but that's a bad idea for all kinds of reasons. I'm not sure if an over-sized bug-zapper would work, and nets would just be boring. We could probably do something interesting by sweeping the room with hover charms. Or by combining an aguamenti with a cooling charm, though we probably couldn't put enough power into both spells. I'm just going to use my first Arithmancy project."

Harry stood up and leveled his wand while calmly watching the few pixies which had reached the back of the room turn and flew toward him. "Ventus", he said quietly.

A jet of air blew the pixie in front of him all the way across the classroom through the door of the cage. Then the jet twisted and expanded into a miniature tornado. Harry directed the upstream end to move around the room, while keeping the downstream end at the door of the cage. The pixies tried to fight the flow, but most were disoriented from spinning and crashing into random objects. The ones that were successfully resisting capture were hit with various spells from every direction and vacuumed in without further resistance.

After the last pixie was caged, Harry twisted the airflow again, slamming the door shut. Several students leveled wands at the cage, calling "colloportus".

Quills, sheets of parchment, and other light objects were scattered everywhere, mostly concentrated on the floor in the front of the room. Students were tiredly dropping into their chairs, take advantage of the opportunity to rest. Lockhart looked around the room, "Excellent teamwork from many of you. And you are much better with shields and stunning spells than I'd expected for second years. I see why you were expecting more from my class. I'll have to step up my teaching. Although, some of you weren't in a sustainable position. I'd like to have seen how you would've adapted once you were no longer able to stall. And Blaise, that was an effective tactic, though not one that will win you many friends. You nearly violated my rule #1 for heroes."

Blaise asked, "What's your rule #1?"

"When thinking about making enemies, remember that you'll have to sleep eventually. I noticed you avoided firing on any Slytherins, though some people can hold grudges for a disturbingly long time." Lockhart looked toward the back of the room, "And Harry, that was an interesting spell. Almost as effective as what I'd have used. Mind if I ask what that was?"

Harry shrugged, "It's a less-common variant of ventus that lets you change the flow direction around while the spell is active and put a vortex around the central flow axis."

Lockhart nodded, "Okay, everyone, class dismissed. And remember, don't tell any of the other students what they have to look forward to. We wouldn't want to deprive them of this experience, right?"

"I really need to learn some better tricks to handle multiple attackers when I don't have an army backing me up", Neville commented to himself. "What else would Harry do?"

After Harry exited the room, he quickly separated himself from the others and pulled out his time turner. Immediately, a scrap of paper flew in front of him with a note reading, "PARADOX WARNING; NATURE AND CAUSE UNKNOWN. Relay no more information to your past than the contents of this message."

"I guess I have to add understanding the rules for time-turner paradox avoidance to my list", Harry muttered to himself.


	11. Winning and Losing

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 11: Winning and Losing

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world, but has made significant progress: Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors, and Acting Chief Warlock Bones is grudgingly taking his cues on national policy. Progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities and a temporary solution has been set up in the now-abandoned Azkaban tower.

Sprout received a mysterious gift, the long-lost and apparently cursed Hufflepuff Cup, and displayed uncharacteristically aggressive behavior afterwards. Moody detected evidence of dark magic on her but it was inconclusive. Since then, Moody has researched more specific spells for detecting horcrux effects and, as one might expect, Hermione tested positive. Draco, after finding the Riddle Diary, showed some very dark-wizard-like thoughts and behaviors such as working to amass power and followers for himself, and brutally knocking down anyone who gets in his way.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. Bellatrix is still at large and able to appear in public despite topping Magical Britain's most wanted list.

Harry has a relatively long list of things he intends to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, time-turner paradoxes, magic-technology interactions, and helping Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem or whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped.

* * *

 _"You ssaid no time," came the snake's hiss, "but plan iss for you to rule country, obvioussly, even your young noble friend hass undersstood that by now, assk him on return if you wissh..._

 _"Learn all that I have to teach you, Mr. Potter, and you will rule this country in time. Then you may tear down the prison that democracy made, if you find that Azkaban still offends your sensibilities. Like it or not, Mr. Potter, you have seen this day that your own will conflicts with the will of this country's populace, and that you do not bow your head and submit to their decision when that occurs. So to them, whether or not they know it, and whether or not you acknowledge it, you are their next Dark Lord..._

 _"To free yoursself, to gain power in Britain, you musst again be sseen to defeat the Dark Lord. You are kidnapped from Hogwartss to public location, many witnesssess, wardss keep out protectorss. Dark Lord announcess that he hass at long lasst regained physical form, after wandering as sspirit for yearss; ssayss that he hass gained sstill greater power, not even you can sstop him now. Offerss to let you duel. You casst guardian Charm, Dark Lord laughss at you, ssayss he iss not life-eater. Casstss Killing Cursse at you, you block, watcherss ssee Dark Lord explode -"_

 _"Casst Killing Cursse? " Harry hissed in incredulity. "At me? Again? Ssecond time? Nobody will believe Dark Lord could posssibly be that sstupid -"_

 _The snake swayed thoughtfully. "Could write different sscript for play, if you wissh. Whatever sscenario, sshould leave open posssibility Dark Lord might return yet again - nation musst think they are sstill dependent on you to protect them."_

 _"Too rissky," Harry said simply._

 _"If my plan iss not to your tasste, what iss yours?"_

 _"If necesssary - sstay at sschool ssix yearss and sstudy. Hogwartss sseemss fine place to dwell. Bookss, friendss, sstrange but tassty food." Harry wanted to chuckle, but there wasn't any gesture in Parseltongue for the kind of laughter he wanted to express._

 _The pits of the snake's eyes seemed almost black. "Eassy to ssay that now. Ssuch as you and I, we do not tolerate imprissonment. You will losse patience long before sseventh year, perhapss before end of thiss one. I sshall plan accordingly."_

Harry slowly opened his eyes, then closed and rubbed them. He sighed. Voldemort's claimed goal for him bore an uncanny resemblance to the current reality: he had apparently defeated Voldemort, though he'd given Hermione public credit. He had a seat on the Wizengamot (and was secretly its Chief Warlock). He had access to a surprising amount of powerful magic (including the Philosopher's Stone, the Mirror, two Deathly Hallows, two phoenices, and Hogwarts itself). Harry decided to raise his probability estimate for the hypothesis that Voldemort was still... active, which also raised the probability estimate that he was responsible for the events at Hogwarts.

Voldemort had once promised (in Parseltongue) not to harm him, so long as he didn't attack Voldemort. Even though Voldemort had apparently planned for Harry to attack him and then kill Harry (or have death eaters kill him) all along. Had that deception been carefully worded enough to be permitted by Parseltongue, or was it evidence Voldemort had found a more general way to lie in Parseltongue?

Even if Voldemort had heard a prophecy implying Harry would do something apocalyptic, prophecies weren't known for providing useful specifics, like names and dates. Therefore Voldemort would've had to consider every possible interpretation, including the possibility that either the subject of the prophecy was someone else or the meaning was something else. And Voldemort had already guessed that Dumbledore had a source of information about the future, so it should have raised a red flag that Dumbledore (who'd let his own brother die rather than negotiate with Voldemort) would sacrifice himself for Harry (and not even to guarantee Harry's safety, but to give Harry a chance as a hostage of a mass murderer rather than a certainty of being locked outside time). Strangely, Voldemort had not only been unsurprised, his plan had depended on Dumbledore's decision. In retrospect, it couldn't have been more obvious that Dumbledore considered Harry the most important person in the world. And Voldemort had predicted that somehow. Had Voldemort determined details of the prophecies Dumbledore had heard by observing his prior behavior?

Harry's eyes widened as he bolted upright. Temporary memory charms existed; Dumbledore had used them to hide Narcissa. Voldemort had used a confundus charm to beat the ancient mirror. Obliviation would beat veritaserum. Was that all it took to lie in Parseltongue?

Harry let out a brief laugh despite himself; it would be even more interesting if memory charms didn't fool Parseltongue because searching for differences between what one believed and what one could hiss out loud would provide a way to detect memory charms. Harry decided he needed to test this at his earliest convenience.

Harry rolled out of bed, deciding to put off homework until after breakfast. He wanted to spend a few hours practicing analytic charms and working on spells for some charmed objects he'd need later in the week. Because if Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres entered a competition, he meant to win.

* * *

An artifact that just turns off lights? Why would Dumbledore make this? He could already dispel any magical light, extinguish any fire, cool anything incandescent, and interrupt any electrical circuit using basic charms. For him, such things wouldn't normally require anything close to his full power level. The object's existence was senseless.

At least Harry's vow was no longer pushing for its immediate destruction, as he was sufficiently convinced that directing it at the sun wouldn't disrupt solar fusion.

Knowing Dumbledore, it was probably a necessary component of some Rube Goldbergesque plan, without which all life would be doomed. Harry sighed, resting his forehead on his palm, and dropped the object into his pouch.

Harry cleared his desk, re-shelving a few books and leaning a long wooden rod against the wall. He pulled a hooded cloak from his pouch, spread it out on the desk, leveled his wand at it and began to concentrate.

* * *

"What in Merlin's name did I ever do to you people?", Neville asked exasperatedly. Facing three upperclassmen alone was the scariest thing he'd experienced in a while, but he was trying his hardest not to show it; Harry would never show fear.

Derrick smirked, "Your choice of friends offends me. Also H-"

Neville had been practicing dueling all summer, but he wasn't anywhere near _this_ good. Luckily he'd planned ahead. "Earmuffs", he instructed his pouch. "Sorry, guys, Listening to idiots is bad for my health, so..." He quickly backed up and ducked around a corner, avoiding several spells which impacted the opposite wall.

After pulling on the earmuffs, all he could hear was the sound of blood rushing through his own ears. He clearly wasn't missing anything because the Slytherin, who had now turned the corner and faced Neville, was yelling enough to turn his face red.

Neville was brushing a finger against the pouch; Harry had taught him that he could retrieve objects by spelling rather than saying them. He lifted the pot with one hand, while uprooting the mandrake inside with the other. The other students instantly fell over, stunned.

Neville hit each one with a stupify, just to be safe, before carefully replanting the mandrake and returning it to his pouch. He then collected their wands and applied sticking charms between their hands and the ground. "That should hold them for long enough."

As Neville walked away, Draco stepped out from behind another corner, muttering to himself, "And I thought it would be suspicious for _two_ second years to defeat more than three upperclassmen at once. I have to stop overestimating my minions. And think of some better plans. Enervate."

As they woke up, he continued, "Well, that was a waste. How am I supposed to rescue Neville from you people if he can handle you on his own? But because I am a reasonable lord, I will release you from the trap you got yourselves stuck in. This time. Finite incantatem." He walked away.

"Um, what happened?"

"Where are our wands?"

* * *

Neville walked toward the Great Hall, passing the Weasley twins along the way.

"Hey, Fred, George. Do you guys have any fast-acting glue?"

Fred narrowed his eyes, "Yeah, what do you need it for?"

"Trust me, if this works, you'll want to see it."

George shrugged, "Well, I'm curious."

"Me, too", Fred agreed.

Neville pulled out the three wands and set them on the floor. He held the first wand by its handle in his left hand and applied a liberal coat of glue to about a third of the opposite end. He used his own wand to cast a hover charm at it and propelled the wand to the ceiling. After holding it for thirty seconds Neville canceled the hover charm, "finite incantatem... Cool, that actually worked."

"Why did you only put glue on the front of the wand and not the handle?"

"Well, snapping a wand is one of those things you just never do to someone. But if they're stupid enough to snap their own wands by yanking on them hard enough, that's not technically my fault."

Fred and George stared at the ceiling for a second, blinked, then simultaneously exclaimed, "My turn!", grabbing one of the remaining wands. A minute later, all three wands were solidly glued to the high ceiling of the Great Hall.

"Neville, that was brilliant!"

"We really need to step up our game."

"It's too bad Filch isn't still around. He always deserved anything we came up with."

"Maybe we should check up on his replacement?"

"Uh, Neville, whose wands were those anyway?"

* * *

Blaise set up a poster containing a large grid and yelled out, "Bets! Place your bets here!"

Members of the Gryffindor quidditch team arrived at the front of the crowd, betting on Ron by between one and three seconds.

The Hufflepuff team evened things up a bit, betting anywhere between Harry by two seconds and Ron by two seconds, except for Cedric who bet on Harry by two to three seconds.

Gregory bet Harry by three to four seconds, which Vincent matched. Theodore followed them, betting on Harry by four to five seconds.

Gregory frowned, "Ron's flying a Nimbus 2000. No matter how well someone can fly, I can't see them beating a Nimbus by more than maybe three and a half seconds on a flight this long. Do you know something I don't or are you just hoping to win the pot if Ron falls into the lake or something?"

Lavender added, "Yeah, I know Harry's good at flying, but he can't be _that_ much better than Ron."

Theodore shrugged, "I don't know anything you don't. But it is General Chaos."

Padma added, "Yeah, Harry will always do something unexpected."

Gregory appeared offended as Seamus bet next, on Harry to win by five to six seconds, and Tracey bet on Harry by six to seven. "What are you people thinking? You know how brooms work and-"

Lavender interrupted, "Wait, if you expect him to do something unexpected, then is it-"

Dean interrupted, "At least you're all allowed to bet. Stupid conflict of interest. That's what I get for agreeing to help."

Percy and Penelope walked over and inspected Blaise's betting board.

Penelope frowned at Blaise, "There are rules against betting on Hogwarts sporting events."

Blaise smiled broadly, "While this competition may or may not meet the definition of a 'sport' (which by the way, is not clearly defined in the Hogwarts handbook or supporting documents), it was neither organized nor sanctioned by the school and is therefore not a Hogwarts sporting event."

"A technicality-"

"Not at all, the rules ban gambling only in certain specific circumstances, such as Hogwarts official sporting events, or when and how Defense professors will turn evil. That implies that gambling in any other context is acceptable. Also, I'm donating 10% of all bets to a charity. You wouldn't want to deprive those war orphans of food would you? I can tell you wouldn't do that; you're definitely not a monster."

Then Percy asked, "Your options only go up to the 'nine to ten second' box. What happens if no one wins? You keep all the money?"

Blaise frowned, "It's impossible for anyone to win by more than ten seconds no matter how badly they screw up. I suppose the giant squid could grab one of them or something, but I'm sure in that case, they'd re-run the race."

Percy replied, "Then you should say you'll refund all the bets if someone wins by more than ten seconds. Or, if you change those boxes to say 'nine or more seconds', I'll put a galleon on Harry."

Blaise and Penelope looked at Percy, surprised. Blaise replied, "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize this was a business negotiation. I'd be happy to let you place that bet." He inked a quill and quickly amended the 'nine to ten seconds' heading to 'more than nine seconds' and Percy handed him a galleon.

Penelope looked at Percy questioningly. He shrugged, "He's right; it's not actually against the rules. And how often do you find a sure thing?"

Fred and George glanced at each other, then handed Blaise more coins, gesturing at the 'more than nine seconds' box.

Tracey, Seamus, Nott didn't have more money on them, but attempted to change their bets.

"No refunds or transfers", Blaise announced. "Also, betting is now closed; it looks like the race is starting."

Dean attempted to yell over the multiple conversations until Harry cast a sonorus charm on him. Dean's voice then carried easily, "Okay, today we're going to have a broomstick race out and back over the lake. I'm Dean Thomas and I'll be the judge and announcer for this event. Ginny Weasley and Colin Creevey are line judges at the far side of the lake; one of them will throw red sparks when Ron reaches the edge of the lake, and the other will throw blue sparks when Harry gets there. Oh, right... Your contestants for today are Ronald Weasley of Gryffindor on a brand new Nimbus 2000, and Harry James Potter-Evans-Verres of Ravenclaw on a... something that looks more like a coat rack with a bowl stuck to it than a broom?"

Harry lifted the broom and pointed. Dean reads out, "It's apparently a model 'UR2L8'... oh, I get it... Anyway..." Dean lifted into the air on his broom and called, "Contestants to their starting positions!"

Ron called 'up' and quickly darted to where Dean indicated the starting line.

Harry held out his broom and tapped it with his wand. He then climbed onto it, rotated the parabolic pusher plate to point down and quietly cast 'ventus' against it. He slowly rose into the air after them and, after some maneuvering, took his place at the starting line, though he wasn't quite pointed in the correct direction.

Ron pointed and laughed, "Beating you on that... piece of trash won't even be fun. I thought you delayed this race so you could get a real racing broom."

Harry shrugged, "It's a magically propelled vehicle. If you'd like to challenge whether it meets the rules, please do that now, before the race."

Ron just scoffed.

As Dean called the start of the race, they both shot out over the lake. For the first few seconds, they were dead even, though Harry's broom fish-tailed disconcertingly. Then Ron's Nimbus reached its maximum speed and Harry's broom pulled ahead, still accelerating.

A moment later, Harry saw the blue sparks around him and the broom instantly stopped. Then it accelerated backwards, spinning around and oscillating briefly before stabilizing. Harry rotated the pusher plate to the left and cast ventus against it, giving him a larger margin of safety from Ron's flight path as they quickly approached each other. Harry passed the finish line and immediately stopped. He then turned the parabola upward and cast ventus into it, causing the broom to slowly descend.

A moment later, Ron landed, yelling, "You cheated!"

Harry sighed, "I told you that's what you would say; that's why I made you write out the rules. And _I_ haven't broken even one of them."

"So what was the official time?", Tracey called to Dean.

"Uh, technically, the race isn't over yet. No red sparks means Ron never actually made it to the far side of the lake." He turned to Ron, "Right now, you're thirty seconds behind. Are you planning to finish, or do you just want to give up now?"

Ron stormed off angrily.

Fred puts arm around Percy, "We need to get you to gamble more often", while George hold his hand out to Blaise, "You have our money yet?"

Percy pulled away from his brother and quietly addressed Harry, "So, we haven't covered brooms yet; what exactly is that?"

"Yeah, it's not exactly a normal broom. I used the hover charm from the target drones (which I assume brooms also use), added an 'arresto momento' to stop it, and other than that, there's just a spell that makes it accelerate north, and a spell that makes it accelerate south. I have to cast 'ventus' on it to do anything else."

What about turning?

"It doesn't. It just goes north and south as quickly as possible, which was optimal for the rules Ron wrote. It doesn't use spells to control its attitude either; these tail surfaces use aerodynamic forces to keep it pointed in the right direction once it's moving fast enough. Ron's rules only required it to be propelled magically, not for it to be stabilized magically."

Percy shook his head, "We'll have to discuss this again once we cover the broom chapter. It's suddenly more interesting to me than it was before."

"Yeah, I look forward to that."

* * *

Dean Thomas noticed Harry walking toward him and stopped, "Hey Harry, what's up?"

He then noticed Harry was carrying what looked likea torture device for candles: a wax cylinder with a long bolt running through its axis and into a motor and a needle sticking into the side of the cylinder. "And what's that?"

Harry smiled broadly, while holding the needle away from the wax and twisting the bolt. When finished, he gently placed the needle back onto the cylinder and started the motor, "... Harry, what's up ... nd ... ats ... that..."

"I can do sound recording and playback. It's not the greatest quality, but how well can you really expect wax to store analog audio data?"

"Cool. What does that mean?"

"The bottom line is, I don't know what will happen to a cassette player at Hogwarts, but it's definitely possible to play records here. So if you still want music, it's doable."

"That's great!"

"Also, I was wondering if you could help me with a related experiment."

"Uh, sure. What do you need?"

"On your trips home and back for Christmas break, take something electronic along and keep an eye on where it works and where it doesn't. I want to know as accurately as possible where the boundaries are. Electronics will work at your house, and not work at Hogwarts or the train platform. I'm not sure about the train itself or how close you can get to Hogwarts or the train station before things stop working."

"Oh. Okay, I can do that. Have you found anything else interesting?"

"I tried to make a telegraph. Everything worked, while it was in my office anyway. When I tried to connect a few different rooms together, everything inexplicably failed. It worked again when I dragged all the parts out into the hallway. I hypothesized that maybe circuits only work when the operator has a line of sight with all parts; most of the things that worked for me were basically laid out on breadboards, while my commercial watch and calculator are in plastic cases. But I quickly ruled that out because my AM transmitter didn't work, and that was on a breadboard. Then I thought about how radio waves travel through walls, and hypothesized that I may need a line of sight with all the effects of a circuit. But that still doesn't explain why ICs work despite being encased in plastic. I tried taking the circuit board out of the calculator, just in case that explanation was close to whatever is really going on, but that didn't help either. Next, I think I'll try to build a digital clock from components, then check individual sections of the circuit to see where it breaks down. But I think I'm going to take a break from circuits for a while. Some other projects I've been working on have been more rewarding recently."

* * *

Lockhart smiled brightly, "Welcome to the first meeting of the Hogwarts Dueling Club! We'll wait a few more minutes for stragglers to arrive, then get started."

Lavender smirked, "What is with that cloak? It looks ridiculous. Is that even a real color? I didn't know blue could look like that."

Harry nodded, "Yup. I'm aware of this."

Parvati added, "And you wore it on purpose? And what's with the triangles? Wait, they're not triangles, they're pyramid shaped dents. That's got to be uncomfortable."

Harry shrugged, "The biggest problem is that it's too hot. I have to keep casting cooling charms on it."

Ron smirked, "It's still not as bright as Lockhart's robe. Maybe this is Harry's way of sucking up to the Defense professor this year."

Harry shrugged again.

"Where's Hermione?", Susan asked.

"She's not coming. I don't really blame her after her last experience with dueling", Padma opined.

Harry forced himself to nod along, despite strongly suspecting that Hermione would have loved a chance to show off; it was just too soon for her abilities to become publicly known and she wasn't that good at acting.

Lockhart clapped once and announced, "Okay, let's get started. For now, we'll just get a feel for where everyone is. First to disarm or stun your opponent wins, and don't use anything dangerous or you'll be banned from the club. All of you, line up along that wall. You and you, and all of you, line up there. Spread out evenly and face your first opponent. Let's start out at a distance of about 10 meters. That should be close enough to be a targeting challenge for some of you, but close enough that you'll have to dodge from the first shot."

Harry looked across the room and saw Ginny. He muttered, "Come on, is this a joke? Fighting a firstie? Give me a real opponent."

Lockhart was walking nearby and overheard, "We'll rotate in a moment. But don't underestimate. Rule #5: it's better to be lucky than good." Lockhart laughed as if someone had told an hilarious joke.

Harry rolled his eyes after Lockhart resumed walking. Then he smirked, pulled a book from his pouch, sat down, and began reading. He surreptitiously pressed his wand against a scrap of parchment he'd dropped a moment earlier.

Ginny frowned, "Are you forfeiting?"

"No, I'm still here."

"But you aren't ready. You aren't even standing up."

"Just do what you've got to do."

"But that's not a fair fight."

"I know, you never had a chance. Blame Lockhart."

Ginny scowled. As soon as Lockhart announced the beginning of the first match, Ginny cast a somnium while dodging. Harry ignored her and turned a page.

Ginny sighed and walked up to him, with her wand pointed at his head. Harry raised his arm in front of his face. Ginny called "Ma Ha Su", then yelped and dropped her wand.

Harry looked up, "That counts as a disarm."

Harry's next opponent introduced himself as Mike the Hufflepuff. Harry didn't remember him participating in an army the previous year and decided to stick with the same tactic. It was a calculated risk, as an upperclassman could potentially cast something that would win. But students hadn't seen Harry do anything impossible in a while and he felt it was past time to remedy that.

After Lockhart started the match, Mike immediately cast protego then expelliarmus. The bright pulse of magic struck Harry directly in the chest but reflected back exactly along its initial trajectory. While the magic flew back toward him, Mike tried to think of something better to cast while anticipating the spell dissipating against his shield. Unfortunately for him, it was his own spell, and he either forgot or didn't know to alter his shield harmonics. His wand flew across the room as his shield dropped.

Harry easily caught it and tossed it back, smiling.

Next, Cedric stood across from Harry, "That's interesting; I've never seen a shielded cloak reflect curses like that."

Harry nodded, "It's a useful property of mutually perpendicular mirrors. Actually, one of the first experiments that muggles left on the moon-"

Cedric continued, "But I wonder what its overload limit is? I guess I'll have to find out the hard way. That should make this match more interesting, at least. And thanks for that; dueling younger students so far has just felt _wrong_."

Harry smiled and stood up, "I don't think you'd have a problem overloading the shielding. Or dodging the ricochets. Even with the cloak, I know I can't beat you in a normal duel..."

Cedric's disappointment showed, "That's too bad."

Lockhart called the start of the third match and Cedric immediately cast a multi-layered protego shield. Harry gestured with his left hand, calling "Evard's Black Tentacles!"

Six tentacles sprouted from the floor _inside_ Cedric's shield, wrapping around his torso, wrists, and angles, lifting him off the ground and pulling the wand out of his hand. Cedric exclaimed, "This isn't dueling." Harry simultaneously finished, "...so of course I wasn't going to fight a normal duel."

"That's not even a real spell", a nearby student interjected, appearing offended by the seeming violation of magical rules.

"Sure it is, you just watched me cast it. Maybe you should spend more time in the library. It was invented by the great wizard Gygax the Dungeon Master, and perfected for use in combat by Milo Naturalis-Viginti."

"Those aren't even real people!"

"You're going to tell me what in Merlin's beard that was, or we're going to have a problem", Cedric demanded after Harry let him down.

Harry walked over and lowered his voice, "That's what happens when I don't have to cast any spells for two matches in a row, when there's plenty of time to prepare a transfiguration. I transfigured this scrap into a thin, transparent layer covering the floor, then reshaped the part you were standing on into the tentacles."

"That's a massive transfiguration for a second year to shape that quickly even with the prep time. And more massive than you should have been able to hold for even fifteen seconds or so."

Harry smiled, "Not as massive as you'd think. They were inflatable, so I only transfigured the outer skin. Stretching and tensioning that skin made the tentacles move."

Lockhart loudly announced, "As you'd expect, many of these duels have been pretty one-sided. Let's try some closer match-ups. For example, we seem to have two undefeated second-year students. Harry and Draco, if you wouldn't mind stepping over here and giving us a demonstration."

The two students stepped into an empty area in the center of the room, while everyone else gathered around. They watched each other carefully.

Lockhart smiled, "Alright, ready... go!"

Draco didn't bother casting a shield, but instead quietly cast a variety of relatively harmless, low-powered spells as quickly as he could, with an occasional shield-breaker thrown in. Harry cast a stupify, which Draco easily side-stepped. Harry attempted to dodge most of the spells, but his cloak was able to reflect those he couldn't avoid.

Then Draco roared, "Serpentsortia" and a large constrictor landed about halfway between them. They continued casting spells and dodging as the snake shook itself off and began closing the distance toward Harry. Draco continued to conjure snakes whenever the opportunity arose, making them smaller and putting them closer to Harry each time.

Harry's room to move quickly decreased as the snakes surrounded him and closed in. Getting frustrated, he hissed, as quietly as possible, " _go harasss the annoying blond child_ ", while subtly gesturing at Draco.

As the snakes turned and moved away, Harry dove and rolled, came up casting a levitation spell, which he swept from left to right, catching Draco's legs and knocking him on his back. A follow-up somnium kept him there.

Harry let out a sigh and stood up then looked around and saw everyone staring at him. Over the silence, one quiet voice was audible, saying "Go away... Please go away." Everyone turned and saw the half-dozen snakes backing Luna into a corner. Neville quickly cast a series of sleeping spells until they stopped moving.

Lockhart called out, "Well, I think that's enough excitement for today. You should all get back to your common rooms for the night."

Gregory walked next to Draco and whispered, "You look surprisingly happy; you know you lost, right."

"Potter won the game he was playing and I won the game I was playing. But my game was better."

* * *

A few hours later, Vincent waved Daphne and Tracey into the room, "Mr. Malfoy was delayed. He should be here for the meeting in just a moment."

"Okay. Theodore and Millicent should be on their way from the common room."

Daphne walked in and sat down, while Tracey went to the desk, "Looks like Draco just started his homework for Transfiguration. I didn't picture him procrastinating more than I do."

"What are you doing?"

"Looking. Oh, Draco keeps a diary. I didn't expect that either."

"Stop snooping", Daphne hissed.

Tracey turned, pushing her bag behind her back and trying to make the movement look casual. She stuck her tongue out at Daphne, while slipping the diary into the bag.

"And stop acting like such a child."

"Fine." Tracey walked over and sat down next to Daphne, "Not being a child is boring. So, another Silvery Slytherins meeting. When is this group going to do anything interesting or useful, anyway?"

Daphne rolled her eyes, "If you don't understand it, why are you here? Anyway, it's important to improve the reputation..."

* * *

The next morning, a dead unicorn was found in the Forbidden Forest.


	12. One Level Higher

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 12: One Level Higher

Note: some of the dialog in this chapter was inspired by/stolen from The 7th Horcrux (s/10677106)

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world, but has made significant progress: Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors. Progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities but a temporary solution is operational in the now-abandoned Azkaban tower.

Sprout received a cursed Hufflepuff Cup, and displayed uncharacteristically aggressive behavior afterwards. Moody detected evidence of dark magic on her but it was inconclusive. Since then, Moody has researched more specific spells for detecting horcrux effects and, as one might expect, Hermione tested positive. Draco found the Riddle Diary, and began plotting to amass power and followers for himself. Then Tracey 'borrowed' the diary.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. Bellatrix is still at large and able to appear in public despite topping Magical Britain's most wanted list.

Harry has a relatively long list of things he intends to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, time-turner paradoxes, magic-technology interactions, and rescuing Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem or whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped, so he has focused more strongly on learning arithmancy, which involves putting spells together to achieve novel functions.

* * *

 _"Now come with me, help me to obtain the Stone, and I will resurrect Hermione Granger on your behalf. Her death has had unfortunate effects on you, and I would not mind undoing them."_

 _Is he really going to do this? Really? There had to be a catch and Harry just couldn't see it. Voldemort had said that neither he nor any of his would harm Hermione, that her body and mind would be her own – why?_

" _There iss more work I intend to do, to give her besst chance of continued life. There iss old, losst ritual to ssacrifice magical creature, transsfer magical nature to ssubject. Limitationss are great. Transsfer iss temporary, only few hourss. Ssubject ssometimess diess when transsfer wearss off. But Sstone will make permanent. Girl-child sshall gain troll'ss power of regeneration. Transsfiguration ssicknesss iss nothing before that, if perchance it wass not fixed by previouss ritual. And no knife sshall sslay girl-child, nor cutting cursse, nor ssicknesss take her. Have not the tiniesst intention of letting girl-child die again, after going to ssuch lengthss to ressurrect her."_

 _Harry swallowed. "I'm very confused." Was Voldemort practicing being nice? This hypothesis did not seem like a sufficient explanation. I'm seeing the Dark Lord Voldemort going to enormous lengths to resurrect Hermione Granger and keep her alive. It's like he thinks that his own life depends on Hermione Granger being alive, somehow._

" _I would never want you to be deprived of Hermione Granger's counsel and restraint, not ever while the stars yet live. Thiss iss, indeed, horcrux of girl-child, my ssuperior verssion." In his other hand appeared a parchment. "Thiss iss ritual for ressurrecting her, if it musst be done again. Insstructionss are honesst, no trapss. Remember that girl-child'ss sspirit cannot float free like ghosst, Ressurrection Sstone iss my horcrux, not herss. Do not losse her horcrux, or her sspirit may be trapped within it."_

 _The Dark Lord was now regarding Harry with a grim look. "When girl-child died, wass in company of sschool'ss Sseer, heard prophecy sspoken that you would become force of vasst desstruction. You would become threat beyond imagination, beyond apocalypsse. That iss why I went to ssuch lengthss to undo my killing of girl-child, keep it undone."_

 _Harry's voice went up an octave, "I really really wouldn't do that, seriously!"_

 _"Ssilence, fool. Remain ssilent unlesss given leave by me to sspeak. Keep your wand pointed down and do not raisse it unlesss told. Elsse you die upon the sspot, and mark that I ssaid that in Parsseltongue."_

" _Today we are doing Merlin's work, my Death Eaters. Yes! Before us stands a great danger, who in his blundering folly has been prophesied to wreak destruction such as even I can scarcely imagine. You will swear, Harry Potter, not to destroy the world, to take no risks when it comes to not destroying the world. Unless this very Vow itself is somehow leading into the destruction of the world, in which case, Harry Potter, you must ignore it in that particular regard. You will not trust yourself alone in making such a determination, you must confide honestly and fully in your trusted friend, and see if that one agrees."_

Harry awoke from the nightmare, groaning loudly. He now understood that there was a terrible flaw in the vow Voldemort had designed: Hermione was a single point of failure. Astrophysics implied that the world would inevitably end. Dumbledore's final message implied that Harry would have to hasten its end in order to save humanity. That couldn't happen without Hermione's agreement, therefore she was just as necessary as he was to guarantee humanity's long-term survival.

Granted, Voldemort had made Hermione's death as unlikely as possible, but Earth's life expectancy was in the billions of years. Over that timescale, the normal definition of improbability becomes meaningless. And her death wasn't even the only apocalyptic scenario. Harry himself had become very dementor resistant, but didn't know whether Hermione was equally protected. And apparently it was also to suffer permanent psychological damage from the cruciatus curse or due to time-turner misuse. And of course, having a horcrux didn't protect someone from total obliviation.

Or did it? Harry had thought about that method of attack within a few hours of learning of the existence of Voldemort's horcrux network. How credible was the conclusion that Voldemort had never thought of it? Especially when the previous horcrux spell's explicit purpose was the preservation of memories.

Harry had no idea how memories propagated through the horcrux network. He had no reason to believe there weren't safeguards against passing obliviation or memory charms to the horcruxen. If putting his horcrux spell on the resurrection stone gave Voldemort the ability to call up his own ghost, would putting his horcrux spell on top of the original horcrux spell give him the ability to recover the memories in that horcrux? Same question for a vial containing a pensieve compatible memory.

Harry groaned again. Such a system, once in place, wouldn't be merely a safety device: it could be used deliberately. Occlumency involved allowing telepathy to reach a fictional mind, rather than the real one. Occlumency had won the arms race against legilimency and would even fool veritaserum. But was the status quo really that solid? Harry had wondered if wizards ever tried using a confundus, muggle drugs, or even sleep deprivation to prevent someone from retaining the mental discipline to create an occlumency barrier. What would happen if someone were obliviated of their occlumency training? And of course Parseltongue was immune to occlumency, as was the Mirror. Other artifacts, such as Sorting Hat or the Elder Wand, may share that ability. But obliviating or memory charming one's self permanently would have to successfully fool such things, because it would no longer really involve fooling them; the new memories would be the truth as far as the mind in question knew. So, with an advanced horcrux, Voldemort could memory charm his brain as necessary, effectively using his host as a higher level of occlumency barrier with the ability to fool methods intended to penetrate ordinary occlumency, then recover his previous memories from the horcrux.

That made everything Voldemort had said in Parseltongue suspect. Voldemort would likely have applied the minimum number of memory charms necessary to accomplish his goal, to minimize the chances of that physical iteration of himself doing something contrary to his real goals. The natural candidate was the alleged prophecy, because that single memory was allegedly the motive for most of Voldemort's actions that night.

Harry had extensively researched the nature of prophecies and learned that they almost never include proper names, or specific useful details like times or places. That Dumbledore had been using such things successfully... it would have been surprising if he'd done that without becoming a bit nuts. If Voldemort had heard a real prophecy, he should not have been so convinced that it was about Harry, rather than someone else, such as Voldemort himself. At the mirror, Voldemort had been certain that Dumbledore would put more value on Harry's life than on the combined outcome of preserving his own life plus defeating Voldemort. This implied that Voldemort had known about the prophecy Dumbledore had heard about Harry ending the world but not life. Therefore, Voldemort must have replaced his memory of that prophecy with a prophecy of his own invention after defeating Dumbledore.

So Voldemort had changed his own memory of the prophecies at play such that he would try to kill Harry. He'd probably also set himself up to make irrational mistakes, most notably allowing Harry to hold onto his wand. Perhaps the plan had been the same one Voldemort had articulated earlier: for Harry to publicly defeat Voldemort, securing good publicity and future political favor. But would Voldemort have been that certain that Harry could defeat a dumber but still dangerous Voldemort? That wasn't something he could've left to chance. So obviously, he didn't. He could've given one or more of the Death Eaters special orders, but that wouldn't have been enough. He could've had another host hiding nearby or even under one of the death-eater robes, just as he'd worn a white robe while fighting for SPHEW. Harry had watched him cast a powerful spell on Snape, the effects of which had never actually been explained.

It all made sense. Well, almost. It still left the original issue: why had Voldemort made some of Harry's future actions depend on Hermione's judgment? Actually, why revive Hermione at all? Was it just because Voldemort doing something out of character would help sell the prophecy story? And on the subject of 'in character', if Voldemort had feared Harry would end the world, wouldn't he have made Harry vow to obtain Voldemort's own assent before doing something risky? It's not like Voldemort would've cared if _he_ was the single point of failure; if he were gone, he wouldn't have cared what else happened because his plan would've already failed.

Harry broke out in a cold sweat. Hermione had been surprisingly absent this school-year, spending an excessive amount of time alone either 'too busy' or 'too tired' to participate in various activities. To Voldemort, the only option better than forcing Harry to consult with him would be forcing Harry to consult with someone he trusted, but who was secretly controlled by Voldemort.

Before he could suppress it, a mental image came to Harry, showing Hermione find an empty room, cast a series of privacy charms, then sit quietly, drooling on herself. The troll strength and unicorn reflexes suddenly made sense: Voldemort wouldn't want to be trapped in a physically and magically weak body, so he provided some upgrades. And it explained the horcrux he made for her: it had made it impossible to check whether she was under the influence of Voldemort's horcruxen. She was the perfect host.

But Hermione was still alive. Azkaban proved that... assuming Harry could trust those memories; that Harry hadn't destroyed the dementors himself and then been obliviated. No, that was too paranoid. Her phoenix was proof. She was alive; he'd just need to find a way to exorcise an immortal dark wizard and she'd be fine.

A part of Harry interrupted this train of though and told himself not to panic; that he didn't have any real evidence for any of this. The rest of his mind acknowledged, then disregarded this thought; that was exactly what the wishful thinking part of his mind would say. And it just made so much sense. Either way, it was a scenario he needed to figure out a way to solve. Harry picked up his watch, checked the time, and thought for five minutes.

Harry sighed slowly. He wouldn't be able to tell anyone about any of this. Moody or Bones would want to permanently kill Hermione if they thought it would stop Voldemort's plan. Ignoring the obvious moral arguments, that was unacceptable because Hermione was necessary to humanity's future, and he didn't think they'd be able to appropriately weigh consequences that may not materialize for thousands or even millions of years. Not that they'd succeed anyway; if Harry told them and they reacted at all, the most likely outcome was that he would wake up obliviated of the last few days and Moody, Bones, and McGonagall would be dead.

Harry's best idea was to somehow find and destroy all of Voldemort's horcruxen without Voldemort realizing it and without Voldemort making new ones faster than Harry destroyed them. To call this impractical was an astronomical understatement; Harry's best... well, only... idea to accomplish this was to destroy the world and start over. Which would require Hermione's okay.

Harry didn't see any possibility of falling back asleep in the near future.

He sighed and decided to go out and watch the stars. He climbed the stairs from his office to the roof, cast a warming charm on himself, and laid on his back.

Some time later, he noticed an unexpected light in his peripheral vision and turned to identify it. He determined that it was coming from the astronomy tower a few seconds before the light went out.

Mildly curious, Harry got a broom and slowly approached the astronomy tower, navigating mostly by the outline of the castle against the sky in the moonless darkness.

"Hello, Harry."

"Oh. Hello, Luna. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that person out here at night turned out to be the one person I knew came out here at night."

"No, you shouldn't. It's more surprising that you're out on a broom at night. I don't think that's entirely safe."

"I flew slowly so it wouldn't have been too serious if I bumped into part of the castle. What else would be dangerous out here?"

"Dragons, for one. Or any especially annoyed hippogriffs. Or thestrals."

"I'll be sure to watch out for those. Although I don't think thestrals can actually fly."

"Unless that's what they want you to think."

"Huh. I'll have to look into it. Who's 'they'?"

"Yes. That's always the question... I suppose it's not surprising after all; flying out here isn't any more dangerous than your usual hobbies."

"You're going to have to explain that. Dangerous hobbies?"

"It's not a secret that you've been working with charmed objects. You should be more careful with them."

"Charming objects isn't normally considered dangerous."

"It depends on who charms them. That's how my mother died."

"Oh, I didn't know. I'm sorry about your mother."

"The aurors said she died researching spells because they didn't find any charmed objects nearby, but they're wrong. Her notes were vague and the aurors found a trace of unknown dark magic, so they assumed she cast something bad. But that was really from the artifact she found."

After a few minutes of platitudes and silence, Harry asked, "So, are there any astronomical objects you specifically wanted to see tonight? Recently, I've spent more time looking for satellites. It's nice, while I'm here in magical Britain, to get a visual reminder that there's a technologically advanced civilization nearby."

"It's nice to look at the stars and imagine being far away from here. Though I think I like watching the stars better here at Hogwarts. They're more alive here than I'm used to seeing."

"'Alive'? Last year, a centaur told me that they make predictions or prophecies or something based on how they see starlight flicker. Do you get information from the stars like centaurs do?"

"I don't know; I've never been a centaur."

"No, of course not; I meant... 'Being far away'? You think about getting away from here? Is something bothering you?"

Luna shrugged, "Many of the people here are less pleasant and enlightened than one would hope of intelligent magical beings."

Harry frowned, "Can you be more specific?"

"You don't need to worry about it. I suppose it's not that important in the big picture."

"If people are bothering you, at least that's a problem I know how to work with."

Luna nodded, "True."

* * *

It was still pre-dawn, but light was visible over the horizon when McGonagall's patronus came to Harry and announced an emergency meeting. He arrived at her office a few minutes later. McGonagall, Bones, Moody, and Hermione were already seated.

McGonagall explained quickly, "A unicorn has been killed. Mr. Hagrid is on his way to give us the details."

The seat at the end of the table facing everyone was clearly intended for Hagrid. The only other seat open was next to Hermione. Harry sat, carefully controlling his breathing as sensing her magical aura triggered his fight-or-flight response rather than the usual sense of comfort. He tried to neither look to his left, nor make it obvious that he was deliberately not looking.

Seconds later, the door opened again, admitting Hagrid and Lockhart. McGonagall waved Hagrid to the remaining chair.

Lockhart spoke first, "So the first thing we-"

Bones interrupted, "Why exactly are you here?"

Lockhart looked surprised but quickly recovered, "Uh... I'm the Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and you won't find anyone who has more extensive practical knowledge of or broader experience with dangerous magical creatures. I happened to overhear some things about the current situation, so when I happened to run into Hagrid on his way here, I thought my expertise would be appreciated."

Bones shook her head, "Mr. Hagrid, please have a seat, and tell us what happened."

"So I got up to walk Fang and feed the thestrals this morning-"

Moody asked, "About what time was that?"

"Maybe 5:00? Thestrals like to eat while it's still dark, so I always bring them-"

Bones interrupted, "Okay, let's skip ahead. When did you first notice something wrong?"

"Well, Fang started barking and ran off, but he does that sometimes. Aren't many things in the forest that scare old Fang. Anyway, I was following him, and I that's when I saw some silvery reflections on the ground. I could tell right away what it was, and knew Fang had found a unicorn, either hurt or dead. When I caught up with him, it was terrible. Another unicorn mostly eaten, just like last year."

Moody stared at Hagrid, "What are the chances your pet killed the unicorn?"

Hagrid's head snapped around to look at Moody, startled, "Huh?... Oh, Fang would never do such a thing. For one thing, he's well fed and doesn't need to hunt. For another, he'd never catch a unicorn. They're too fast for him."

McGonagall asked, "Hagrid, what do you suspect was responsible?"

"Er... nobody ever caught what was eating them last year. It's probably back, right? I never saw the sense of bringing in so many unicorns this year, with whatever it was still out there, but I figure Dumbledore must've had a plan."

McGonagall tried again, "How many things are even capable of taking down a unicorn?"

Lockhart jumped in, "I suspect a nundu. Coincidentally, I've been looking forward to hunting one for quite some time, and am familiar with all the latest literature on the most effective tactics. I'd be happy to lead a group of..."

He trailed off as he became aware of Moody staring at him intensely. After a few seconds of silence, Moody spoke, "There's never been a nundu attack in Britain. As far as anyone knows, there's never been a nundu in Britain." Lockhart nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but Moody demanded, "Did you bring one here?"

Lockhart shut his mouth quickly, paused, then answered, "Of course not. Someone would have to be totally irresponsible, or a complete idiot, to bring such a dangerous animal near a school." He smiled at Moody, "And of course, if I could work with those animals so easily, I'd have written about it. My skill as a nundu-whisperer would be common knowledge across the magical world."

"Are you directly or indirectly responsible for the death of any unicorns?"

"No! Of course not."

Moody grunted, but continued to watch Lockhart.

McGonagall repeated, "Hagrid, what would be fast enough to catch a unicorn?"

"Well, the fastest things out there are the phoenix and the dementor, b-"

"Things that would take a bite out of a large animal", Bones snapped.

"Well, a nundu would, of course. Or a quintaped. And I suppose a hydra or dragon or occamy."

McGonagall sighed, "Anything that would live around Hogwarts?"

"Well, I a centaur could probably hunt one, not that they ever would. I don't know, maybe if a hippogriff got hungry enough... Those things are quick in a powered dive. Maybe a troll or a werewolf. I don't know that they could outrun one, but they might be able to trap one somehow. Though it's the wrong moon phase for werewolves."

Lockhart interjected, "If a unicorn were injured somehow, or trapped, for example in a devil's snare or acromantula web, any number of things could finish it off."

Hagrid nodded, "Or I suppose a large snake could ambush one, though not many reptiles would be out hunting before spring."

Harry queried, "Not many or not any?"

Hermione turned to Bones and Moody and asked, "How sure are we that an animal was involved? I've read that dying dark wizards will often try to kill unicorns for their blood."

Hagrid frowned, "I don't think they'd take large bites. Something was eating it."

Harry processed the simultaneous series of objections that arose, which resolved into a decision to remain silent. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Moody stated, "Unless a dark wizard were covering up their activities."

Bones added, "Or if it were scavenged after it died. Mr. Hagrid, have you seen anything else unusual in the forests? Specifically anything that would indicate the presence of someone who doesn't belong there?"

"Well, the Forbidden Forest is never quite the same as the last time you saw it, but I haven't seen anything I'd call unexpected. I certainly haven't seen any dark wizards out there."

Bones concluded, "Okay, thank you Mr. Hagrid, you may go."

As Hagrid stood and moved to the door, Lockhart walked forward, clearly intending to take the vacated seat at the table. The chair twisted in on itself and disappeared before he reached it.

Bones stared him down, "You may go, Mr. Lockhart." He reluctantly walked through the doorway and the door shut itself behind him.

Bones sighed, "So I assume we all agree that this is Voldemort's doing, correct?"

Harry replied, "Well, it could be something else..." He trailed off and sighed upon seeing everyone else nodding in agreement with Bones.

Moody asked Harry directly, "Is there anything else we should know, Potter?"

"Well, if Voldemort is killing unicorns, it means he needs unicorn blood, which implies his body, I mean his host's body, is dying. If we assume he was possessing Professor Sprout earlier this year, then he has the ability to move from person to person somehow. He claimed he could use the Resurrection Stone to move around as a ghost and possess anyone he wanted, but at the time he was trying to convince me that he'd immediately return if I killed him. Otherwise he would need someone to find a horcrux in order to possess them. Anyway, if he's already moving between hosts, unicorn blood would be redundant and killing unicorns would unnecessarily reveal his presence." As he said it, the thought completed in his head: unless Voldemort suspects we already know he's here, and killed the unicorn just to give the impression that he needed its blood. Everyone would falsely conclude he had a weakness and was not, in fact, using a host whose blood already incorporated unicorn healing factors.

Moody asked, "So what's our next move? Voldemort could be possessing anyone."

"Surely he'd be more likely to possess some people that others", Bones argued. "A dark wizard would be most likely to possess a teacher, due to their higher magical strength and their privileges with Hogwarts' wards."

"Unless that constraint made finding him too obvious", Moody retorted.

Bones answered, "In that case, he'd want to possess someone with as much magical power and muscle strength as possible (which implies a 6th or 7th year with experience dueling, etc.). A wealthy family, noble or politically connected would also be useful in case he were caught doing something illegal."

Hermione suggested, "That could mean Cedric Diggory or Robert Jugson. I've heard Jugson has been acting strangely this year, though that could be explained by his... incident... earlier this year."

Moody looked unimpressed, "So that's even easier to narrow down than assuming he's using a professor."

Harry shrugged, "A smart dark wizard might play at the next level and deliberately choose someone as weak as possible, like a first year; just to do the opposite of what we'd expect. And a smarter dark wizard might choose someone as average as possible; someone whose name most of us wouldn't even know. But strength, skill, and money would still be valuable, so they'd choose between a more average or above average individual based on how much they intended to hide or to fight. In that case, we could rule out anyone below average. Though a dark wizard operating at the level above that may deliberately pick someone below average to escape that scrutiny."

"So basically it could be anyone", Moody repeated.

Harry sighed, "Yeah."

Moody continued, "We need to search the school; try to find his horcrux."

McGonagall sighed, "The school is huge and someone could easily lose something here for years."

Bones added, "It would also give away what we know; make it obvious that we're looking for something."

Moody nodded, "Okay, I propose that just before Christmas break, we tell everyone that there's an illness, a dragon-pox outbreak or something. So Pomfrey has to scan them before they go home, to prevent the disease from spreading. I'll polyjuice as Pomfrey and scan them for evidence of possession. Some disillusioned aurors can scan their luggage for dark magic. Then, after the students leave, we have some time for aurors to search the dorms, common rooms, offices, and commonly used classrooms. We can have the elves look everywhere else for anything that doesn't belong and bring it to the aurors."

Bones replied, "I can't imagine Voldemort being caught by something that easy, but it could reveal something."

McGonagall objected, "You're proposing to detect Voldemort in a group of students. There won't be any way to keep students safe when he starts fighting."

Moody nodded, "Of course we wouldn't try to arrest him there; we'll signal aurors to follow anyone who tests positive and then call everyone to help bring him down."

Bones concluded, "That sounds like a good starting point. Moody, work out the details, and pick some aurors to learn the necessary detection spells. I think we're finished here for today."

Bones and Moody flooed away, Harry and Hermione walked toward the door. "Mr. Potter, a moment", McGonagall said.

Harry asked, "Okay. Actually, I've been meaning to ask you: Has Hogwarts ever been struck by lightning, or do you know of any spells that protect it from lightning?"

"What? I've no idea. Why would you want to know that?"

"It's the simplest reason I've thought of for why anyone to ward the castle in a way that affects electricity. Wizards wouldn't understand the physics behind what they were trying to accomplish, so such wards would likely be trial-and-error and do complex and unpredictable things, some of which would be helpful, and some of which would only cause side effects."

"As I said, I don't know what the castle does with lightning. Maybe it's protected somehow or maybe it just heals itself afterward. Anyway, I asked you here because I've heard you've been using Parseltongue in public, which I've warned you against doing. I suppose you may have thought out all of the possible outcomes in advance, and decided it was worth risking; is that the case? And if so, what were you hoping to achieve?"

"I don't believe anyone should have been able to hear me speak it. Well, except I accidentally let Draco hear it last year. But I didn't know Parseltongue was a thing at the time, so that shouldn't count."

"I've been informed that you were seen commanding several snakes to attack a student at Lockhart's dueling practice. Have I been misinformed?"

"Well, partially. There were quite a few snakes closing in on me, and I did tell them to leave me alone, but no one would have heard that. If I looked through the library, I'm sure I could find a dozen spells that would repel snakes just as effectively. And it's not like that would be a surprising thing for me to have done. Concluding that I have a rare snake-related ability wouldn't be rational. And I certainly didn't command snakes to attack anyone."

Harry's eyes widened in sudden comprehension, " _Draco_ sicced those snakes on me. He _planned_ that. He must have had people start a rumor that I'm a parselmouth too. Of course, that's no excuse. It was just a school exercise, and I should have let myself lose."

"Then why didn't you?"

"I don't have a good answer for that. I thought I'd learned that lesson after the first few times, but apparently it's something I still need to work on."

* * *

Tracey strode into the Great Hall, eyes bright, head held high, and a hint of a smile on her face. She walked just quickly enough for the black cloak she wore over her robes to trail behind her like a cape.

Reaching the Slytherin table, she looked around suspiciously, then announced to the nearby second years, "Dumbledore is a far greater dark lord than I could ever hope to be. He's always fifty steps ahead of everyone else, so far ahead that once his enemies realize what his plan is, it's usually too late. Our best hope is to throw him off balance by planning zero steps ahead."

Gregory frowned, "Uh, Dumbledore's gone."

"Or that's just what he wants you to think. _I'm_ going to be ready for him."

Pansy shook her head, "What is wrong with you?"

Vincent grunted in agreement and added, "You were already annoying. When did you become a morning person too?"

Tracey pointed at Pansy, "I've already taken your soul, but don't think that's the worst I can do to you. I could break you and rebuild you into a loyal minion, but I doubt you're useful enough for it to be worth the effort. Though I suppose I could lock you up and ransom you back to your family if you remain annoying. Be gone from my sight."

Pansy stared at her for a second, then got up and walked away.

After she was out of earshot, Daphne laughed, "Okay, that was pretty good."

Tracey turned to Daphne and declared, "So, you wish to join me. Your foresight is commendable, and I assure you that, if you choose to be my minion, you shall share in my eventual glory."

Daphne scoffed, "I'm a Greengrass. Greengrasses are not minions."

Tracey frowned, "You will come to rue this day, in time."

Theodore grumbled, "You're seriously not going to play Dark Lady Tracey again this year are you? I was hoping you'd outgrown that."

"Quiet, you. I _will_ destroy your soul."

Theodore rolled his eyes, "I was in Chaos Legion, remember? We were the ones who helped you prank Pansy the last time. You can't use the same prank on me."

Daphne changed the subject, "You were in the common room late last night. When did you go to sleep?"

"Oh, I didn't sleep. I had more important things to do, you know."

"Then how are you even awake right now?"

Tracey waved dismissively, "I've grown beyond such mundane concerns."

"Seriously."

"I cast innervate on myself whenever I got tired."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Humans need sleep."

"Yes, and I think we've all established that I'm better than that."

Blaise announced, "Shh, he's here."

They turned to watch Harry enter the hall. A small group of snakes followed him.

Millicent shook her head, "It's like he's not even trying to keep people from thinking he's evil anymore."

Tracey agreed, "I fear that Harry may be the most evil of us all. That is concerning since I am the next Dark Lady."

Blaise chuckled, "Compared to him, you're an amateur. But you could ask if he's looking for someone to be his sidekick slash comic relief."

Tracey snapped, "You'll learn the consequences of such insolence." She then looked thoughtful, "But somehow you managed to include a decent point in your stupid comment, so I'll show you mercy for now. I should propose an alliance with Harry. For that to work out in my favor, I think I'm going to need some liquid luck. Does anyone have any blackmail material on Felthorne?" She looked around expectantly. "No? I guess we'll have to invent some."

Tracey looked around again, while no one volunteered suggestions. She looked briefly at Draco, then turned to Daphne. She opened her mouth to say something, then stopped and stared at Draco for another moment before turning back again. "Oh Merlin, I'm pretty sure Lucius managed to clone himself. I wonder if he knew a spell to transfer his memories into the clone too?"

Daphne replied, "I'm... Wait, what?"

Draco looked over at Tracey and growled.

Blaise stared at Draco, amused, "Did you just growl?"

Draco grunted.

"Grunting from a Malfoy? I'm shocked. You're lucky your father isn't around anymore." Draco scowled at Blaise and began to stand up. "By the 12th ruling of the 31st Wizengamot, if he saw you acting like this he could have disowned-"

Draco vaulted onto the table, then dove across, tackling Blaise onto the ground and throwing punches at his head.

A series of stunners from multiple directions quickly ended the fight. McGonagall and Flitwick hovered them out of the hall.

Tracey announced, "Blinding fury is not conducive to good decision-making. I think I'll hold off on offering Draco a chance to become one of my minions."


	13. Shell Game

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 13: Shell Game

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world, but has made significant progress: Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors. Progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities but a temporary solution is operational in the now-abandoned Azkaban tower.

Sprout received a cursed Hufflepuff Cup, and displayed uncharacteristically aggressive behavior afterwards. Moody detected evidence of dark magic on her but it was inconclusive. Since then, Moody has researched more specific spells for detecting horcrux effects and, as one might expect, Hermione tested positive. Harry has begun to suspect something darker: that Voldemort's plan had been to pretend to fail while preparing a powerful and immortal host for himself who Harry would trust implicitly (and explicitly, given the unbreakable vow).

Draco found the Riddle Diary, and began plotting to amass power and followers for himself. Then Tracey 'borrowed' the diary. Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. Bellatrix is still at large and able to appear in public despite topping Magical Britain's most wanted list.

Harry has a relatively long list of things he intends to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, time-turner paradoxes, magic-technology interactions, and rescuing Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem or whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped, so he has focused more strongly on learning arithmancy, which involves putting spells together to achieve novel functions.

* * *

Harry entered the Great Hall, trying to ignore the group of snakes gathering behind him. He sat at the Ravenclaw table and began filling a plate with food. All nearby conversations had stopped as people stared at him, but Harry chose to ignore that too.

Anthony looked around at the others, and seeing no reaction, spoke first, "All right, I'll be that guy. Harry, what's with the army of snakes? How worried should we be?"

Harry sighed, "I don't know. I don't know where they came from. I don't know why they're following me. I don't know what they'd be doing if they weren't following me. But I do know that if I tell them to leave me alone, everyone will blame me for whatever they do afterwards. I didn't ask them to follow me around, but it's almost certainly safer for everyone if they stay near me than if they go anywhere else."

After a few minutes, Harry asked the students nearby, "Does anyone know about anyone who's been bothering Luna?"

Terry scowled, "What do you care? You set snakes on her."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Do you actually believe that? For what possible reason would I have done that?"

Terry shrugged, "Who knows what you're planning? Maybe it was a misdirection so next week you can send snakes after, I don't know, Justin and no one will suspect you."

Harry shook his head, "That's insane. How would making people suspicious of me make people less suspicious? And why would I attack Justin?"

"I don't know! Why'd you attack Luna?"

Harry shook his head again, "Your argument is circular."

"Well, your argument is too thin."

"What does that even mean?"

"This conversation still means something? I thought we were just saying words now."

Around this time, they had both noticed that everyone else was silently staring across the room. Harry turned to see Draco and Blaise fighting. As McGonagall and Flitwick carried them out, Harry quickly got up and moved after them. The snakes followed.

Tracey saw Harry and moved to intercept, "Hey, Harry! I'm formally offering you a position in my Darke (with an 'E'!) Army. Once we've taken over, you can be the leader of... um, Hogsmeade."

Harry looked at her and forced a serious expression, "I think I'll hold out for a better offer."

"That was just my opening. There's room for negotiation. What would you be expecting?"

"I'll start getting interested when you stop talking about cities and start talking about continents. And important positions in the world government."

"There is no world government."

"I thought you wanted to be a Dark Lady."

Tracey nodded, "You're right of course. And I assume you're looking for something more than Antarctica. There are probably about as many people living in Hogsmeade as there are living there. How does South America sound? And, um, Minister of Global Muggle Affairs?"

Harry frowned, "I was thinking more of Minister of Health, Science, and/or Magical Research... There are wizards in Antarctica?"

"I used to have a pen pal there. It sounds great, actually: there's only one little spot where you have to worry about the Statute of Secrecy at all. And there's no age limit for wands or any underage magic rules. Anyway, I'm willing to promise you all of those positions, and not just because you're the only one who would both want them and be competent to do them."

Harry nodded thoughtfully, "That makes sense. Of course, before I commit to anything, I'll have to see your ten-year plan."

"Ten... years...?"

Harry nodded again, "Honestly, I have some doubts about your commitment. You can't take over the world without a well thought-out plan."

"Do you have a ten-year plan?"

Harry shrugged, "I've got the high-level outline. Many of the details are still hazy. It's my hundred-year plan that needs work. It's even less detailed than my thousand-year plan."

"Thousand-year? So you've found a way to become immortal?"

"I know there are some methods out there. I'm confident something will be available to me when I need it."

"Part of our plan should be to find all the spells and artifacts related to all of those methods as soon as possible. After all, one can never be too immortal."

"That's very true", Harry agreed. "Anyway, I'm going to go find out what's going on with Draco. You didn't happen to notice anything before he went postal, did you?"

"Hm, I was pondering if he were a clone of Lucius and the corollary of whether Lucius might have figured out a way to transfer his mind or memories into a clone. And I suppose he was less verbal than usual."

"Oh... Okay, I'll look into it."

Tracey looked around, and muttered quietly, "Neville... he could definitely be useful." She thought for a moment, then walked over, "Merlin bless the simple interactions of Hufflepuffs."

"Neville", she said sweetly, "Do you want to be friends?"

"Uh, sure. Assuming we weren't already..."

"One condition. You have to swear a magical oath that you will never, ever harm me no matter what I do."

Neville looked mildly surprised, "What?"

Tracey burst into laughter. "Just kidding! Anyway, do you know any of the details of Harry's plan to take over the world?"

He frowned, trying and failing to determine the nature of the conversation that had been inflicted on him.

Before he could form an answer, Tracey announced, "Kidding again!" and walked away quickly.

Neville shook his head, "I'll never understand girls."

* * *

When Harry reached the medical wing Moody was already scanning Draco. Draco awoke and Moody paused and stared down at him.

After a few seconds Draco yelled, "The Wizengamot will have you in Azkaban when they find you've used legilimency on a me!"

"Yeah, I very much doubt that."

"They would never tolerate someone violating the mental privacy of a member of a noble house!"

Moody turned to McGonagall, "No evidence of dark magic, but he's had a huge number of memory modifications. Multiple charms per day over at least the past month."

Draco began, "I demand-"

"Mr. Malfoy", McGonagall interrupted, "You have been memory charmed by an unknown individual for an unknown purpose. I would think you would want to know what is going on and to have Auror Moody hunt down whoever is responsible."

"For all I know, Moody is the one applying memory charms. I'll-"

"I assure you that he did not. This was the act of a criminal who has ill intentions toward you and likely toward the school as well. The Hogwarts board of governors will not tolerate an agent of a dark wizard with an unknown agenda to stay at Hogwarts. If you don't allow Auror Moody to determine the nature of those memory charms, you will not be allowed to remain here."

"If you think I'm going to allow Dumbledore's followers access to my mind-"

Harry interjected, "Does it have to be Moody? If that's the issue, we could find someone neutral, like Mr. Bester."

"And why would you suggest him, Potter? A secret alliance-"

"Petrificus totalus", Moody suddenly cast. "Stupid wanker just tried to draw on me." Moody gestured at Draco's hand, which was frozen in the act of pulling a wand from his robes. "No one searched him for a second wand? Well, luckily now he's awake, has his eyes open, and can't refuse legilimency." Moody began staring into Draco's eyes before Harry or McGonagall could react.

A moment later Moody reported, "The last memory charm takes place in Hogwarts... and depicts the killing of Abigail Myrtle... He cast a spell first and then some kind of magic transfered to whatever he was holding... He never looked at it, but it feels fairly light and has a flat bottom... Stupify."

Draco's eyes became unfocused but he didn't move otherwise.

They followed Moody into another room, where he cast a set of privacy charms. Then a charm which made the snakes following Harry immolate. "I don't trust those things; I don't trust magical constructs in general, and there's no reason for those to be here. Also, you look ridiculous leading a flock of snakes like some demented Slytherin shepherd. Anyway... Someone was memory charming Draco to think he was Voldemort. And they knew what they were doing; that memory was consistent with what I know of the horcrux ritual."

McGonagall frowned, "So you think Voldemort _wanted_ us to believe Draco was possessed?"

Harry answered, "This actually sounds consistent with the basic horcrux spell (which is almost certainly what Moody is familiar with). It involves a device that stores memories and writes them into the victim's mind. The result is less of a possession and more of a hybrid personality, which gradually becomes more similar to the dark wizard as their memories are merged. The advanced horcrux ritual involves something more like possession but is more secret, so it's unlikely Moody has read any description of it."

Moody sighed, "So we might have a horcruxed wizard (who would seem to be under the imperius) using memory charms on Draco, a horcruxed wizard (who appears to be memory charmed) using the imperius on Sprout, or two Voldemorts with totally different abilities and possibly different plans and goals?"

"I believe that's an accurate summary of our current level of ignorance. But Occam's Razor suggests we assume one agent is responsible until we have evidence otherwise, and all of the advanced horcruxen should have been obliviated along with Voldemort", Harry gestured at the ring, "so I'd bet on option 2. But our response is pretty much the same regardless: find and destroy a horcrux. I suggest we proceed as if it were an outbreak: quarantine everyone who shows symptoms (in this case, violent behavior, evidence of dark magic, or evidence of memory charms), and check everyone they had close contact with for symptoms."

* * *

Daphne sighed, "Tell me again: why are we sneaking into the library at night?"

Tracey smiled brightly and gestured with the diary she was carrying for emphasis, "I told you; there's information there that's critical to the fulfillment of my master plan for world domination."

"No, really... This is the forbidden section! You're seriously breaking into the forbidden section? That's kinda over the line, even for you."

"Let me tell you a story: this morning I was talking to General Chaos. It started as just a typical dark lady-dark lord discussion about taking over the world and stuff. But then, suddenly he almost had me convinced that I'm in over my head here. Of course, that tricky reverse-psychology stuff only works on the weak-minded, and it was sloppy of him to try a plot like that on me. But regardless, decisive action is required."

"If you stop and think for a second-"

Tracey waved dismissively and pulled a pair of books off the shelf, "Stop thinking like a Hufflepuff. When I rule this world, I will give you first pick of countries to control."

Daphne sighed again.

Tracey smirked and muttered, "No one wants to be a Hufflepuff." She pulled another book off the shelf and flipped through it quickly, almost dropping the others in the process. She then stacked the four books on the floor and walked down the aisle, pulling another few texts off the shelf.

Daphne sighed and watched the doorway.

Tracey added another armful of books to the pile and continued browsing. As Tracey disappeared down another aisle, Daphne heard footsteps echoing down the hallway and held her breath.

The footsteps were getting closer. Daphne looked around, trying not to panic, wishing for some solution to manifest itself. If this were a battle, her next step would be... to hide the evidence and escape. She stepped forward, tucked Tracey's pile of books under her left arm and quickly moved in the direction Tracey had disappeared.

Once she, and the evidence, were out of view of the doorway, Daphne started to feel more confident. She frowned as Tracey walked toward her carrying another pair of books, then scowled as Tracey loudly announced, "Guess what I fou-"

"Somnium", Tracey fell. Daphne smirked, knowing that whoever was coming would probably stop searching after finding an unconscious student.

"Obliviate", Daphne frowned. She didn't remember learning to cast that spell. She shrugged to herself; this was no time to be solving mysteries.

She put down the stack of books and cast 'quietus' charms on her hands, shoes, and mouth. She put a hand on the shelf but paused and returned to the stack of books. She pulled out the bottom book; it was the diary Tracey had been carrying everywhere since she'd stolen it from Draco. She shook her head, then paused in the motion of putting it back. She was strangely hesitant to leave it behind. She carried it with her as she climbed the bookshelf and lied flat on the top. A moment later, McGonagall entered the library and moved toward the restricted section.

As McGonagall walked around the bookshelf, Daphne climbed down the opposite side and silently sprinted down the hallway.

McGonagall quickly approached Tracey, noted the pile of books, and cast 'innervate'.

Tracey rubbed her eyes and sat up, "Oh, hello, headmistress. What's..." She looked around, "What happened?"

"That was my question. Why are you here?"

"I don't remember."

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Leaving Charms class."

"Friday afternoon? You don't remember any of Friday evening or Saturday?"

"Oh... that sounds like something I wouldn't have expected until I was older... Although drinking butter-beer and sneaking around at night does sound fun. I'll be annoyed if that happened and I forgot about it."

"We're going to see Madame Pomfrey. She'll figure out what happened."

* * *

McGonagall concluded, "...so now Tracey has been obliviated. I suspect it's the same as what happened to Draco, but whoever is responsible has started trying to cover their tracks."

Moody grunted, "So we can conclude it's a professor. Call Lockhart in here and I'll get some answers."

"Actually, the wards recorded an unauthorized obliviation, so it's most likely not..."

She was interrupted as one of the objects in the office emitted a high pitched siren. McGonagall tapped it with her wand and it became silent. "There have been two more unauthorized obliviations near the Great Hall."

They simultaneously moved toward the door.

* * *

Daphne casually walked toward the Gryffindor table, tapped Lavender's shoulder, and whispered, "I need to talk to you. Wait about 30 seconds and then follow me. I'll be just outside the doors."

A moment later, Lavender bounded excitedly through the doorway and whispered, "Is it a secret mission? We haven't even a quest yet this year, not even a boring or easy one. Will it be dangerous? Or will-"

"Confundus", Daphne pushed the diary into Lavender's hands. Lavender turned and walked back into the hall. A moment later, she returned, empty-handed.

The girls raised their wands at each other and simultaneously cast, "Obliviate."

After a moment, they blinked and looked around, then turned back to each other.

"What in Merlin's hat just happened?"

"Where did you come from?"

"I think my stomach just magically filled itself with food. Is that a real thing?"

"How did I get here? Actually, what day is it?"

McGonagall and Moody, who had arrived in time to catch part of this quasi-conversation, exchanged glances and escorted the girls to the hospital wing.

* * *

Harry paced back and forth in his office. Despite nearly a dozen disillusioned or polyjuiced aurors present, and nearly all of the aurors in Britain prepared to time-turn to provide backup, it was still too dangerous for him to personally observe the hostile wizard detection and containment exercise (as Mad-Eye had termed the effort to scan the students for legilimency, memory charms and possession as they left for the train). He had to hide out here and wait for the results. And he'd been unable to convince anyone that Hermione should remain at Hogwarts over the break (the argument that she hadn't seen her parents in nearly a year had proven superior to anything he could make himself say out loud), so he strongly suspected he knew what the results would be.

Harry was convinced that Voldemort, while possessing Hermione, was pretending that one of his old type1 horcruxen was loose in the school, in order to cover up his actual presence and distract from his real plan. At some point, he could produce a fake (or real) type 1 horcrux and allow it to be discovered and destroyed, thereby apparently ending the current emergency. So far, this faux-crux had allegedly affected Draco, then Tracy, then Daphne (who's memory had been wiped back to before Tracey had been obliviated), then Lavender. Therefore it was likely that someone who knew Lavender (and probably also Daphne) would show traces of memory charms or obliviation. Maybe this person would even have a suspicious artifact (which would likely be destroyed before it could be carefully scrutinized). After that, there would be no more suspicions (except from Mad-Eye, who was suspicious of everything on principle), and Voldemort would be able to continue operating freely with his super-powered host.


	14. More Questions Than Answers

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 14: More Questions Than Answers

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world, but has made significant progress: Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors. Progress toward a functional Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities but a temporary solution is operational in the now-abandoned Azkaban tower.

Sprout received a cursed Hufflepuff Cup, and displayed uncharacteristically aggressive behavior afterwards. Moody detected evidence of dark magic on her but it was inconclusive. Since then, Moody has researched more specific spells for detecting horcrux effects and, as one might expect, Hermione tested positive. Harry thought of some potential countermeasures Voldemort could have used against parseltongue and obliviation and began to suspect that Voldemort's plan had been to pretend to lose while preparing a powerful and immortal host for himself who Harry would trust implicitly (and explicitly, given the unbreakable vow). Unfortunately, that same vow has prevented him from sharing his suspicions. Draco found the Riddle Diary, which then passed through a series of other people, affecting their behavior and leaving evidence of memory charms behind. Moody and McGonagall set up a test to find anyone affected and locate the artifact presumed responsible.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. And obviously plotting something. Bellatrix is still at large and able to appear in public despite topping Magical Britain's most wanted list.

Harry has a relatively long list of things he intends to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, time-turner paradoxes, magic-technology interactions, and rescuing Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem or whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped, so he has focused more strongly on learning arithmancy, which involves putting spells together to achieve novel functions.

* * *

Harry sighed. His attempt to apply epidemiological principles (as if a horcrux were a mere infectious disease) had not been particularly successful. Things had looked hopeful; the assumed horcrux had followed a logical path for a time. Progressing from Draco to other second-year Slytherins made sense. Daphne and Tracey were evidently best friends and where therefore frequently together. The progression from Daphne to Lavender made similar sense.

But that was it. Harry had advised Moody to expect some other second year Slytherins or possibly former Dragon Army lieutenants to show evidence of memory charms, because the horcrux should have been somewhere before it passed to Draco. Harry would have bet on Gregory or Vincent showing symptoms. Similarly, Harry had advised that Lavender was most likely to have passed the horcrux to Parvati, Padma, Susan, or Hannah. Or possibly to another second-year Gryffindor. Or someone from the Sunshine Regiment.

But no. Moody had polyjuiced as Madame Pomfrey and had scanned every student under the guise of checking for Dragon Pox. No one had shown a trace of legilimency, memory charms, or obliviation. There was no dark magic on the students or their luggage. One of the invisible aurors was a specialist curse-breaker who could find and open magically hidden compartments in seconds without leaving a trace. The number of banned objects he had reported shocked McGonagall but none of it had been worth exposing the search for. Moody had then run down Lockhart and scanned him, over his objections that he was in a hurry to catch a port-key to Australia (and some rambling about hunting drop-bears). Moody had reluctantly let him go ("Another ten minutes, and I'm sure I would've found evidence of something illegal he's mixed up in", Moody had insisted) and the aurors had returned to their normal duties.

McGonagall had then asked the house elves to search the school for apparently lost or hidden objects and bring them to her office. As a result, there was a pile next to her desk containing assorted textbooks, parchments, quills, a couple of gloves, and a shoe ("How does a student lose a shoe?" she had exclaimed). And then Moody had insisted that she order the elves to line up in a corridor so he could verify that none of them had been affected by the horcrux. There had been no new hint about where the horcrux had come from, where it had gone, nor how or even whether Professor Sprout had been involved. Harry sighed again. It was likely that they were chasing a false horcrux; that Voldemort had faked it in the form of an unsolvable puzzle to confuse anyone investigating him (or to mess with Harry, specifically).

"Harry!" Petunia ran across the room to hug him.

"Hi, mum! Hi, Dad!" Michael had entered, carrying a large box, "Oh, books!" Harry ran over and peeked into the box.

McGonagall entered behind them, "Isn't it traditional to wait until Christmas day to exchange presents?"

Michael shrugged, "We've always done presents at the earliest time it was convenient. Never seemed rational to wait longer than that."

"The keypunch and punch-cards I was expecting. You got me a microscope?"

"It's not electronic, so it should work. Hopefully it will be useful."

Harry nodded, "Your new books are in the box over there. It's mostly wizard history and fiction. There are a few that cover hypotheses about the nature of magic. They might be interesting, but it's important to remember that their authors don't actually know anything."

"Magic violates conservation of mass-energy and momentum, right?"

"Apparently."

"Any of their ideas have a solution for that?"

"Somehow I doubt they see it as a problem."

"Well, I consider it a problem; physics can't be _that_ wrong. It can't be a coincidence that all the experimental tests have backed the Standard Model. I've been wondering whether the solution might involve dark matter. When there are phenomena that appear to create mass, and 75% of the mass in the universe is practically undetectable, it makes sense to look for a connection. When we say dark matter only interacts gravitationally, maybe we should really be saying it only interacts gravitationally or magically."

"Or if gravity is a form of magic that just happens to be particularly well-behaved and easy to detect, that might explain why general relativity and quantum theory have been so hard to unify."

"Or the missing solar neutrinos might be part of it. At some point, you should see if you can get a few thousand wizards to cast spells simultaneously to see if a neutrino detector picks up a difference. There's a testable prediction..."

McGonagall looked questioningly at Petunia, who smiled and shrugged. McGonagall shrugged back, turned and walked away.

* * *

Harry sneezed once again as he walked into the hospital wing.

Madame Pomfrey looked up at him, and Harry asked, "What do you have for an upper respiratory inf-". The rest was cut off as Harry started coughing.

She handed him a glass of water, while motioning for him to sit. She then waved her wand over him and muttered a few spells.

"Pepper-up potion will clear that up quickly enough. I'll give you a dose; take it about half-an-hour before you plan to sleep. Also, you appear to be sleep deprived, so you need to make an effort to get more sleep. That is especially important for people who have had their sleep cycle lengthened. The lack of sleep makes you more susceptible to every illness that passes through the school."

"Thank you for the potion. I'll make an effort to get more sleep."

* * *

Dean approached Harry as he was leaving the great hall after dinner, "Hey, I did that experiment; I brought a digital watch back and observed where it stopped working. I also brought records back."

"Great, I'll get the record player stuff and a map. I think visualizing the places where electronics will and won't work might be helpful." He ran off.

Dean was about to call after him, then shrugged and walked back toward the Gryffindor rooms, "He really doesn't need to make things this difficult."

A few minutes later, Harry approached the Gryffindor common room, when he had a thought that could be best expressed as, "Crap. Password." He then slowly smiled, and muttered, "It would be a shame not to try it." He touched his wand to his robes and transfigured it such that the colored parts were red and gold. He quickly glanced around the corner to locate the portrait that guarded the door and cast, 'quietus' at it.

He casually walked up to the door and the woman in the portrait silently mouthed some kind of greeting or challenge. Harry began, "So this is the entrance to Gryffindor and there's a password. Obviously, being a Gryffindor, I know the password, and it probably isn't a very secure password. It might have something to do with phoenices or fighting Slytherins or stupid heroics or something. A Gryffindor password would be something like that. Or some other word. There are so many words, because English took lots of words from German and French and other languages."

During this time, the two-dimensional woman had held her hands to her ears and strained to listen carefully, then attempted to clean her ears, and finally began to look annoyed. She mouthed something Harry didn't catch.

Harry stopped talking for a moment, during which he forced himself to look progressively more concerned. Then he asked "Why aren't you opening the door?"

The portrait's expression changed from annoyed to confused. She appeared to say, "I can't hear."

Harry forced himself to look panicked and began repeating, "Why won't you open the door? You have to open the door."

The door unlatched and the woman hurried to the side, past the portrait's frame. Harry walked in.

Dean looked over, mildly surprised, "How did you get in here?"

"I snapped my fingers."

"No, really."

"Social engineering."

"Whatever. Anyway, before you ran off, I was going to tell you not to bother with the map. The watch worked fine until the carriage got to the bridge in front of the castle. Then it turned off and didn't come back on."

Harry frowned, "You mean it worked on platform nine-point-seven-five? And on the train? It only stopped inside the Hogwarts wards?"

"Yes. Clearly you were expecting something more complicated?"

"Well, yes. That contradicts previous results." Harry pulled out a calculator, "I couldn't get this to turn on the last time I was at the train platform."

Percy interrupted, "Why are you wearing Gryffindor robes?"

Harry suppressed a smirk and mentally canceled the transfiguration, then looked down at himself, "They look the same as usual to me." He turned to Dean, "They look like Ravenclaw robes to you right?" Dean nodded. Harry turned back to Percy, "Maybe you're under a confundus charm?"

"Cute." He gestured at the calculator, "You know that won't work in the castle, right?"

Harry nodded and Dean answered, "Harry's been trying to figure out where it works and where it doesn't. But it sounds like the places where technology works change. Sort of like the hallways here; maybe you have to figure out a different map for Mondays vs. Fridays and everything."

Percy's expression brightened noticeably, "My father actually has a calculator that looks similar to that one; he said it makes it bearable to keep the budget for his department at the Ministry. He's done quite a bit of work with muggle electronics, and might know something about that. He'd probably also be interested in hearing about what you've tried so far."

"That... sounds really useful. Ask him to send me an owl and we can start exchanging results."

Percy nodded then walked away.

"So what did you come up with to play a record?"

Harry pulled an irregularly shaped wooden box out of his pouch. It had an open front, though its most notable feature was a turntable on its top surface. Harry then retrieved a car battery and a motor and placed them inside the box.

"That looks like it's made from a desk from one of the classrooms", Dean observed.

"It contains parts from several desks, actually. I imagine the house elves were pretty confused when they had to clean up that mess." While talking, Harry attached a variable resistor to the battery and motor using alligator clips. The turntable began spinning slowly.

"It doesn't exactly look like a professional setup."

"How many professionals are there at combining magic with muggle technology?"

"Fair point." Dean shrugged and placed a record carefully onto the turntable.

Harry pulled a metal bar from his pouch, affixed one end to the box, and carefully lowered the other onto the record.

Dean watched expectantly, then commented, "I think you need an amplifier and speakers and I don't see how you're going to connect them to that."

"A speaker is basically just a cone that vibrates to cause the air in front of it to vibrate. Sound is just vibrating air. The grooves of a record cause the needle to vibrate according to the sounds it stores. This needle is mechanically linked little cones here and here; it doesn't need electronics."

Dean stepped forward and looked carefully at the needle, "That's not going to be very loud."

Harry pointed his wand at the record player, "Sonorus." A low pitched hum became audible. He swung his wand around to point left, "Ventriliquo." He cast the same pair of spells, this time pointing to the right. "There's a 50% chance I got the left and right channels correct. If you decide it's backwards, switch the sides when you cast it next time." He then picked up the variable resistor and turned the knob, speeding up the motor. The hum rose in pitch until it resolved into music and singing. "That sounds about right", Harry concluded.

"Do I have to worry about maintaining a transfiguration on the parts or something?"

"No, they're permanent."

"Please don't try to tell me you can make transfigurations permanent by snapping your fingers."

Harry smiled, "That would be a useful skill. Actually, there's an advanced free transfiguration technique called shaping that lets you specify how the initial object turns into the final object. For example, you can take a sphere and make the outer layer turn into the left side of a rod, then make the inside turn into the right side of the rod. If you cut the rod in half and reverse the transfiguration, the left half becomes a hollow sphere and the right half is the part that would have been the inside. Or you can transfigure something into paper and cut out the pattern you need; that's what I did for these parts."

At this point, Fred announced loudly, "Cool, random party!"

George followed up with, "The butter-beer and sweets are over here."

Percy frowned, "Why do you two have all of that?"

"It's important to be prepared for these things."

Percy shrugged, "It's the first night back from the break, so I suppose it's okay. Just don't make a habit of it."

"Of course, Percy. We would never want to interfere with the monotony of the Hogwarts experience."

Percy shook his head and hid a smile as he walked away.

Harry approached Fred and George, "Hey, are you guys interested in helping me with a prank?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Not so fast, George. It's important that we get some details first. We don't attach our brand to anything too mundane or derivative."

Fred nodded, "You're absolutely correct, Fred." They looked at Harry seriously.

Harry waited.

After a few seconds, they started laughing and simultaneously asked, "What do you need?"

* * *

Hermione sat next to Harry at breakfast and asked, "Do you want to go to the quidditch match today?"

"No more than usual, why?"

"Well, I feel like I should see at least one during my time at Hogwarts. Who knows, maybe it will be interesting. And I heard the Ravenclaw and Slytherin seekers deliberately ignored the snitch to run up the score last year. What did they ever do to fix that?"

"I don't know. That was a somewhat eventful day, and I kind of stopped following the whole thing after that. I suppose we could go, if you'd like, though I'd preferred if you'd chosen a nice day, rather than the middle of January when it looks like we'll be getting a blizzard."

"Well, then maybe we can teach the children of the magical community about sledding."

Harry laughed, then stopped when he realized Hermione didn't. "Uh... sure, we can watch a quidditch game."

* * *

Harry brushed the snow off a seat and sat down, "Ugh. I guess I'll be trying to use arithmancy to optimize the warming charm for the next hour."

Hermione just smiled at him.

"You should probably at least pretend to be cold."

"Yeah, probably."

Another group of students walked over. Daphne looked at the seats, then at the field, and announced, "This is ridiculous. I'm going back inside."

Tracey added, "Yeah, me too. Hermione, you picked the worst possible day to watch your first quidditch game."

Susan scoffed, "This isn't nearly as bad as when it's cold and rainy. Some people just aren't real fans."

Hannah shrugged, "Well, Slytherin isn't playing today."

Harry frowned, "They should really get view screens like Professor Quirrell used in his classes or battles. We're not going to be able to see much out here today."

Lavender sighed, "There has got to be a spell to fix weather like this."

Harry looked thoughtful, "I think if there were weather modification spells, we'd have heard about it by now. Unless they're covered by the Interdict of Merlin. Although, we should probably check the library just in case."

Lavender added, "Well, someone needs to hurry up and invent one. And I'm looking at you, General Chaos. Get on that."

Hermione snickered then suggested, "Maybe they have a spell to blow the snow away or something."

Padma answered, "If they do, I've never seen it before."

Hermione nodded and was about to reply when Lee Jordan's amplified voice filled the stands, "Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to today's game between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff house teams. The snitch is away and the quaffle will be released in thirty seconds, so find a seat if you haven't already. Neither team has yet been mathematically eliminated from winning the House Cup, though really, don't we all know which team-"

McGonagall interrupted, "Mr. Jordan, what have I told you about showing favoritism in your announcing?"

"Keep it subtle rather than blatant?"

"I'm quite sure I never said that."

"Well, it's what I heard. Anyway, the quaffle is in the air, and Ravenclaw appears to have possession, based on the yellow and blue blurs racing toward the Hufflepuff goal."

As the game continued, Harry pondered why they were here. It was out of character for Hermione, so hilariously out of character that no one attempting to model Hermione's behavior would have made such a mistake. The obvious answer was that Hermione/Voldemort was plotting something and needed Harry to be otherwise occupied. No, that wasn't it; it would have been easier to convince him to spend the day in his office (or in the library if the plot was happening in his office). A better answer was that she wanted a public alibi. Though anyone who both knew Hermione and knew about time-turners would be _more_ suspicious of her after learning that her alibi involved a quidditch game.

Lee's voice sounded again, "Due to the poor weather and visibility, and general weakness of character, the members of both teams have elected to end the game after the first team reaches 100 points, breaking centuries of wizarding tradition, causing the quidditch players of prior eras to spin in their graves and bringing dishonor to Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff for the next three generations-"

McGonagall interrupted, "Mr. Jordan, no one is dishonored over a friendly school game."

"Really? You can say that with a straight face?"

"At least tell them the real reason."

"Ugh, fine. The _official_ story is that someone (who we're expected to believe is not working for either team) cast a spell to locate the snitch and found it to be immobile on the ground outside the stadium. An attempt to accio it failed, implying that it's frozen to the ground. Of course, the casual use of two spells which are (for obvious reasons) banned for quidditch matches, raises disturbing questions. I assure you all that this announcer-slash-quidditch-investigative-reporter will be looking into who is casting these spells during games, and what surreptitious methods they're using to communicate that information to whichever seeker is paying the largest bribes-"

"Please spread conspiracy theories on your own time, Mr. Jordan."

"Oh, believe me, I will-"

"And refrain from doing so during games. Especially when you heard me cast the detection spell after a request to do so by both seekers. And you are aware that there are wards preventing cheating by both the players and spectators."

"You heard it here first, folks: the scandal goes all the way to the top!"

Eventually, Lee announced, "Yay! The game is finally over! Neither team actually 'wins' because they were playing by crazy definitely-not-quidditch rules, but we all win because we can go back inside!"

Hermione asked the group, "Hey, does anyone feel like walking around the lake?"

There were several objections of the "frostbite and hypothermia sound unpleasant" variety, after which Hermione announced that she hadn't spent enough time outside recently and was going anyway. The others went back to the castle.

Once inside, Ron approached and quietly said, "Remember Operation Firebolt." He quickly walked away.

The others looked at each other questioningly. Lavender answered, "Secret Gryffindor business. You don't need to know." She and Parvati left before anyone could ask a follow-up question.

Harry shook his head, "I should probably look into that, but I'm way behind on my to-do list for today. And I have a feeling that I really don't want to know."

After Harry walked to his office, he tried to think of an excuse he could give for an auror to follow Hermione without raising suspicions. By the time he reached the office, he had eliminated most of the options he'd considered. He was about to sit down, when he jumped back suddenly and pulled out a communications mirror, "Hey, Mad-Eye, I think someone tampered with my office. When you get a chance-"

"Well, don't touch anything. In fact, wait outside. I'll be there in a few minutes."

An hour or two later, Moody had scanned nearly everything in the office for magical traces without finding anything suspicious.

Moody's head snapped up and to the side as he exclaimed, "What the fuck?" Harry followed his gaze to... an ordinary looking area of the ceiling. Meanwhile, Moody pulled a small object out of his robes, which quickly expanded into a broom. He flew up the stairs and out of the tower.

Harry pulled a broom out of his pouch and followed, only to see Moody staring out into the dark.

"Dammit!", Moody exclaimed. He spun around and raced toward the astronomy tower. Harry began to follow until Moody shouted back, "Go back inside."

* * *

Moody sighed, "I've officially gotten old. There was a time I would have dropped both of them and damn the consequences. Now I'm all worried about putting students in danger."

McGonagall frowned, "Feeling a sense of responsibility is not a bad thing."

Bones commented, "I'm just surprised you didn't have a fast enough broom to intercept them. Normally, you're prepared for things like that."

Moody scoffed, "I have one of the fastest racing brooms you can get. Unfortunately, those smugglers had a dragon pulling them. If there were a broom that could intercept a dragon, I would own one."

"A dragon! Where the hell did a dragon come from?"

McGonagall sighed, "Alastor caught Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, and Ronald Weasley at the astronomy tower. I interviewed them and from what I've put together, the grounds keeper, Hagrid, raised it from an egg. Weasley's older brother works at a dragon preserve, and sent some of his co-workers to take the dragon somewhere where it will be cared for. Hagrid's on his way here."

Moody nodded, "Good. I have some veritaserum. We can do a proper interrogation."

McGonagall asked, "Are you sure that's strictly necessary?"

"Of course."

Harry added, "I agree."

Bones nodded as well, "After the last time we interviewed that man, truth serum can only speed things up."

There was a knock at the door, and McGonagall called, "Come in, Hagrid."

Moody was ready with a glass of water with two drops of veritaserum dissolved in it. Hagrid looked around at the others, then reluctantly drank it.

"Where did the dragon come from?" Moody began.

"Someone I met at Hogsmeade had a dragon egg he was trying to find a home for. I'd always wanted a dragon, so it worked out for both of us."

Harry asked, "Is it common for people to give away dragon eggs?"

Bones answered, "No, it's utterly ridiculous. Dragons are carefully regulated; every dragon in Britain should be registered. Even if someone has a permit to raise them, they are extremely expensive. And they're not common on the black market because it's difficult to hatch the eggs and there's nowhere to hide an adult dragon. So Mr. Hagrid, what did you pay for that egg?"

"I didn't pay. He gave it to me... Though now that I think about it, he asked me a lot of questions I probably shouldn't have answered."

"Such as?"

"Well, I'd recently picked up something from Gringotts for Dumbledore. He asked about that." Hagrid paused, then looked over at Harry, "He also asked some things about Harry. I don't remember exactly what, but I hadn't met him yet and couldn't really say much."

Bones looked thoughtful, "I'd assume that was Voldemort. Or a death eater."

Harry nodded, "Could be. My guess would be polyjuiced Lucius. Or someone working for Lucius; maybe someone from the Daily Prophet."

Bones turned back to Hagrid, "And you thought you could actually get away with raising a dragon?"

"I really wanted one, so I brought it back here. I got some books on dragon care., and it seemed doable enough."

Harry had a sudden thought, "Auror Moody said dragons are faster than any broom. How fast is a dragon?"

Hagrid appeared to relax a little, "They can get going pretty fast in level flight, but a dragon pulling out of a powered dive can chase down nearly anything."

Harry continued, "Including unicorns?"

Hagrid flinched, "It's happened once that I'm aware of."

Bones narrowed her eyes, "Here? Earlier this year?"

"Yeah. I thought I was feeding it enough, but it decided to hunt. And there are so many unicorns out there now."

McGonagall asked, "And that's why you decided to relocate it?"

"Yeah. Not enough for it to eat here, and not enough room for it, not without getting discovered."

Moody grunted and asked, "What other dangerous animals do you have out there that no one else knows about?"

"I suppose that depends on what you mean by 'dangerous'."

Harry clarified, "Have you brought anything alive onto the Hogwarts grounds without explicit permission?"

Hagrid sighed, "Well there's the acromantulas. And my brother, Grawp. I'm pretty sure Dumbledore knew he was living out there, but he never actually said it was okay."

"Acromantulas!", exclaimed several people.

"How did you get an acromantula past the wards?", Moody demanded.

"I don't know exactly. Dippet was headmaster at the time, and I don't think he was as good as Dumbledore at reading the wards."

McGonagall replied, "I can believe that. I don't think I can sense a tenth of what Dumbledore could from the wards. But Hagrid, _why_ would you bring acromantulas here?"

"I was trying to keep him safe. Wizards tend to be... unfriendly to everyone who's different or who they don't understand. Believe me, I've seen it closer than I'd have liked. You also usually tend to kill things when they're labeled 'dangerous creatures'."

Moody stared at him, "Acromantulas eat people when they get the opportunity. What's your definition of dangerous?"

"Acromantulas are basically people with extra legs. They're smart; they can even learn English. Sure, they eat other animals for food, but so do people."

"And how many are there now?"

"I don't know exactly. Probably hundreds."

Moody just shook his head. Bones mumbled, "You moron."

McGonagall asked, "Is there anything else we should know? Or that you think we'd want to know?"

"Er, I don't think so."

The floo lit up, and Bones stated, "An auror is coming to take you to a detainment room until we decide what to do with you. Or in case we have follow-up questions."

An auror stepped into the room and led Hagrid back out.

Harry spoke first, "How did Hagrid ever get a job here?"

McGonagall answered, "He knows magical creatures really well. And he's a good man. He was an ally during the wizarding war and a friend of both myself and Dumbledore. And your parents. He's just made some mistakes. He doesn't have the best judgment."

"Well, he needs someone with at least a hint of common sense to babysit him whenever he's on the grounds. Or better, everywhere."

Moody chuckled, "Who should we get to clean out the acromantulas? There are a few rookie aurors who could use some practical experience."

Harry frowned, "Is it true that they're sentient?"

Moody shrugged, "They're pretty smart for magical creatures I suppose. I've never heard one talk and I don't think they have near-human intelligence though."

"Then I'd prefer to relocate them somewhere where they aren't a threat to anyone. Where are they originally from?"

McGonagall replied, "South America, I believe. I think most of them live in a nature preserve in Brazil."

"So we could transfer them there?"

Bones answered, "We could probably arrange that with the Brazilians. Safely moving hundreds of giant, hostile spiders, on the other hand, sounds... tedious."

Harry smirked, "Luckily there's a world-famous expert in handling dangerous creatures right here at Hogwarts."

Moody slowly smiled, "That's something I want to see. Oh, tell him he can write his next book about it, maybe 'Arresting Acromantulas'."

Harry replied, "Or 'Sequestering Spiders'."

"'Wrestling Web-builders'."

"'Arachnid Attacks'."

Bones rolled her eyes, "Since we're apparently done with the meeting part of this meeting, I'm going. Minerva, let me know when you decide what you want to do with Hagrid. Or his brother. I consider this a Hogwarts matter, so I'll defer to your judgment."

* * *

Harry left the meeting in deep thought. Hagrid and the dragon were responsible for the death of the unicorn, which they had previously attributed to a dark wizard. Because he had considered the unicorn to be evidence that Voldemort was at Hogwarts, that probability was now necessarily lower, so he had to reevaluate the evidence and determine whether it was still rational to believe in Voldemort's continued presence.

The explosion in the potions class could have been an evil plot, but it could have also been an accident (it was astounding how some students could manage to blow up even the safest potions) or a reckless attempt to make the potions class more exciting, producing a larger bang than expected. Students had recently cast 'obliviate', but it was possible that students were learning it and using it on each other to avoid being caught or punished for whatever else they were doing. Any number of students had a motive for the spider-based attack on Jugson and Sloper. Memory charms had been used then as well, but there was apparently a learning curve to reading the wards. It was possible that the spell had triggered the wards, but McGonagall hadn't yet known enough to be aware of it. Harry made a note to ask her about it

Sprout was harder to explain, but there were too many unknowns to infer very much. The detection of 'dark magic' had raised more questions than answers about what a trace of dark magic was or what it meant. The memories Moody had read from Draco were the best evidence of Voldemort, but pointed to an original-recipe horcrux, not a contemporary immortal Voldemort horcrux. Memory charms by a reasonably well informed or creative individual could have also sufficed. The Malfoy family still had enemies, and an apparent Voldemort possession, if made public, could ensure that Draco would never consolidate much political power by raising suspicion that he was a death eater or Voldemort himself.

Voldemort- just because it was possible that one might use a horcrux network to escape obliviation and capture didn't mean Voldemort had that ability. Voldemort's final hours could have been a diabolical plan disguised by pretending to lose, but it also could have been a real defeat. He could have miscalculated, been overconfident. Everyone makes mistakes; it's not like he had some supernatural rationality power. He wasn't some kind of evil god; just a wizard smarter, more resourceful, and more powerful than most.

And Hermione had left her room and started interacting with people again. She apparently seemed fine to everyone, despite the sudden and inexplicable interest in quidditch. Maybe she'd just been homesick or something all along and spending some time at home had fixed everything. In retrospect, it was possible Harry had been overly paranoid. He had called for Moody to search his office twice, and both times had been false alarms.

Moody had told Harry about a potion called Bahl's Stupifaction, which produced a confundus-like effect causing people to make stupid decisions for an extended time, typically resulting in self-sabotage of whatever they were attempting. It had been a long shot, but apparently there had been a chance that Voldemort had been exposed to it while performing his resurrection ritual. Which made his defeat more believable. Bahl's Stupifaction- Harry's current hypothesis was that it was like the opposite of liquid luck and both potions somehow used information from the future; one potion caused people to make decisions which turned out to be optimal and the other caused maximally suboptimal decisions. He really needed to find some liquid luck to test. For someone smart, it could be an instant victory condition; it could allow one to skip over hours of trial and error to produce workable solutions to any number of problems. He'd have to find a subtle way to discuss it with Lockhart. Or maybe just let Moody read his mind.


	15. When Bellatrix Attack

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 15: When Bellatrix Attack

* * *

"...So those are the basic spells for making a broom hover and move horizontally", Vector lectured. "The hard part is setting up analytic spells to trigger the movement spells in a way that makes it possible for someone to fly. It's common for broom inventors to accidentally charm something that will spin or buck hard enough to throw its pilot. These accidents are occasionally fatal, though that was more common when flying brooms were first developed. Though it's still common practice for pilots to carry a portkey, if they can't apparate, in case a new design isn't controllable enough to land safely.

For the rest of this class we'll go over a few basic control schemes included in the text which are well-understood and safe. Be aware that deviating from those is a risk. I've been told that the arithmancers at Cleansweep only test slight changes from well understood designs, and then do quite a bit of testing before moving further. Of course, I've heard that the Nimbus arithmancers are... less careful.

Anyway, brooms are typically set up to detect pilots shifting their weight so people's natural instinct for balancing will keep the broom stable. The simplest control scheme-"

A patronus cat jumped into the classroom and announced, "I've been informed that Death Eaters are attacking the Ministry. We have no reason to believe they intend to attack Hogwarts, but we're going to prepare out of an overabundance of caution. All students and teachers, proceed immediately to the Great Hall. Teachers, escort your students. Everyone, keep your wands out and stay alert."

* * *

Harry and Hermione approached McGonagall. "What is going on?", Hermione asked first.

"Bellatrix attacked DMLE Headquarters and Azkaban."

"You mean she lead a group of death eaters? I thought they were all dead?" Hermione asked.

"I haven't heard much. Bones and Moody are very busy so they're sending memories that will explain the situation in detail before we talk to them."

They walked to her office in silence and found an owl waiting with a pair of glass vials containing a silvery liquid. McGonagall poured poured one into the pensieve. "This one is labeled Kingsley Shacklebolt. He's the current head of the DMLE."

* * *

The memory started from the perspective of walking across a room full of aurors. Many were sitting at desks, writing. Others were quietly talking into their mirrors. One of the latter stood up and apparated away.

The view shifted suddenly as Shacklebolt spun around to face none other than Bellatrix Black. She scowled and drew her wand on him, but he just looked away and continued walking.

"Alohomora." Shacklebolt turned back and dashed after her, calling, "Miss, that room is restricted; you can't go in there."

She spun around, and yelled "Imperio." The pensieve image blurred slightly, as if the man's eyes had become unfocused. He turned his back on Bellatrix, faced the other aurors, who, having heard the dark curse, were now rushing toward him. He swept his wand in a wide arc, cast a series of quick shield-breaking curses. They responded with stun and disarm spells, but everyone's shields held.

After a few seconds, he shook his head and the image cleared. Bellatrix had backed through the doorway and was halfway to a vanishing cabinet. He aimed his wand at Bellatrix while calling out to the others, "It's Bellatrix! Lethal force is authorized."

Bellatrix smiled and raised her wand as the aurors ran into the room. She made no attempt to dodge or cast a shield as they targeted her, and began casting various attack spells.

As spells of every color converged on her, six copies of Bellatrix appeared in the room around the original. They wore identical triumphant smiles and were sustaining a shield, which absorbed the aurors' attack. The original Bellatrix pointed her wand at Shacklebolt and called, "Avada Kedavra". This curse was echoed by the other six. Shacklebolt and the other aurors threw themselves to the floor.

More aurors ran into the room and continued casting spells at the seven intruders. Shacklebolt stood and resumed firing, sparing only a glance around the room. That was enough to determine that the six aurors had been hit; the other six killing curses had been aimed exactly where the aurors had dove, rather than where they had originally been standing. Shacklebolt yelled, "Call for backup! Get Bones. Get Moody. Get Dum- Uh, get everyone here now."

Every Bellatrix smirked. One remarked, "If you were smart, you'd run away now." Another added, "You've already lost." As if to reinforce the point, the six dropped their shields, dodging the incoming spells and cast a series of cruciatus curses, dropping the front line of aurors. As the fight continued, the leftmost Bellatrix walked to the vanishing cabinet and, occasionally dodging curses, activated it and stepped inside.

With a sudden expression of recognition, one Bellatrix offered, "Nymphadora? Niece, come fight with your family. I'll personally ensure that you regain your rightful status as a noble and never have to work with commoners or incompetents like these again."

Tonks replied, "Right, like you'd welcome a half-blood into your family even if you did somehow get out of here alive."

"No really. My father, the late Lord Black, was one of those 'impure blood for five generations' extremists. None of the rest of us really bought into all that nuttiness."

"I'm not sure which is harder to believe: the claim that you're not really a blood purist or you calling other people 'nutty'. Diffindo" Tonks slashed her wand sideways, aimed at Bellatrix's abdomen.

That Bellatrix jumped and pulled her feet up, clearing the attack. After landing, she made an exaggerated frown, "Aww. Are you sure?" Her wand was pointed at Tonks faster than anyone could follow, and she whispered, "Imperio."

In a flat tone, Tonks said, "You're right, Auntie. Of course I'll help my family."

Bellatrix beamed, "Excellent. Glad to hear it."

An auror announced, "Protego maxima is stable. Code 13." The auror was shaking slightly from the drain of dividing the room with the powerful shield, but the effort allowed the other aurors to push more power into offensive spells.

Six copies of Bellatrix and four imperiused aurors focused simultaneous shield-breakers on that auror. His wand quickly exploded in his hand and the shield dropped.

The disarmed auror dashed forward to physically attack the rightmost Bellatrix, apparently assuming they would need a few seconds after that spell before being able to resume their attack. In a move that looked effortless, that Bellatrix dodged a punch and pushed the auror into the nearest wall. He fell to the floor and remained motionless. As if to answer the obvious question, that Bellatrix put her wand to his head and spoke an incantation ending in, "Inferius."

The inferius rose and ran at the aurors, one of whom was forced to cast a blasting curse to neutralize the former colleague.

Shacklebolt leveled his wand at the center Bellatrix and bellowed, "Avada Kedavra." She made no effort to dodge as Tonks jumped in front of her, absorbing the spell. With what looked amazingly like outrage, Bellatrix screamed, "You killed my favorite niece, you muggle-fucker! Crucio!"

Shacklebolt screamed in pain and sank to his knees.

One of them cast a levitation charm at an auror who had just been disarmed and pulled him into the path of the green light. They laughed maniacally, the nearest Bellatrix stopping only long enough to step forward and cast 'inferius'.

The death eaters cast another set of 'crucios'. As the aurors were recovering, they stepped together and cast a protego maxima in a dome around them. Then they imperiused a new set of aurors.

Before the others could react, the imperiused aurors cast spells in every direction to counter unbreakability charms. They followed immediately with blasting curses directed upward. Walls began to crack and sections of ceiling fell and then the image went black.

"Enervate." Shacklebolt rolled to his feet and looked around. Volunteers were clearing the rubble that formerly DMLE headquarters. He cast a levitation charm and tossed some debris aside exposing six copies of Bellatrix still within their shield. As he began chanting a powerful shield-breaking curse, they smiled triumphantly, pulled out time turners and vanished.

* * *

The memory began looking down at a patient, a transfiguration recently completed, and Fawkes arriving with the Philosopher's Stone, so the doctor could make the results permanent.

The doctor turned in response to a crashing sound behind them. There was a flash of flame, red and somehow black, as an area of wall collapsed to floor. A snake made of fire slithered into room, coiled in center of room.

Bellatrix stepped through and smiled, "Hand over the stone and I won't hurt you." Her smile widened, "Not too badly, anyway."

Has to hold stone in place for another few seconds to keep patient alive, nowhere to run anyway, Fawkes apparently disappeared. "I'm afraid I can't do that."

Bellatrix slowly stalked across the room, still smiling, "No?"

After a brief pause, she grabbed the doctors hand and squeezed. The doctor fell to his knees, the sound of breaking bones audible even over his screams. Then the memory went black.

Then, Bellatrix's voice, "Innervate... I didn't say you could sleep."

The image returned as the doctor opened his eyes again. He was laying flat on the floor. Bellatrix, had been holding the stone against her chest but now reached out and gestured with it, "Disobeying orders from a superior. Withholding treatment from a patient who needs it. Wasting a Death Eater's time. You have a lot to answer for. What's the worst torture curse you've experienced in your life?" Still holding the stone in her left hand, she leveled her wand at the man's face and began to laugh.

Then the playback of the pensieve appeared to freeze; Bellatrix's mouth slowly closing was the only perceptible motion for an instant.

Then there was a popping sound and a red and gold flash appeared near the ceiling, behind Bellatrix and to her right.

After 10 milliseconds, Bellatrix began to turn right and raise her wand, instinctively seeking the source of the sound. The flash had coalesced enough for a beak and wings to be visible. The fiendfyre serpent's eyes were already following the phoenix.

After 30 milliseconds, Fawkes had fully materialized, already in motion, gliding behind Bellatrix.

After 40 milliseconds, the serpent had begun moving forward. Bellatrix had seen the serpent's reaction and apparently recognized the sound of a phoenix appearing.

After 70 milliseconds, her lips had pulled back to show her teeth, in an expression combining a smile and a snarl. The fiendfyre began to grow and reshape, still accelerating forward.

After 190 milliseconds, Fawkes turned and dived, eyes locked onto the stone.

After 200 milliseconds, the fiendfyre tiger abruptly turned a few degrees to the right, its path now aimed to intercept Fawkes in front of Bellatrix, rather than behind her. Bellatrix's head turned left, tracking the tiger.

After 260 milliseconds, the doctor began desperately scrambling backwards, out of the tiger's path.

After 280 milliseconds, the tiger pounced, accelerating forward again.

After 300 milliseconds, Fawkes' talons closed around the stone, jerking it out of Bellatrix's hand and continuing forward without slowing down.

After 320 milliseconds, Bellatrix felt the stone being pulled away.

After 340 milliseconds, she blindly grabbed for it, finding nothing but air.

After 350 milliseconds, Fawkes began to brighten and blur.

After 360 milliseconds, she realized what had happened, and began to shout 'no', her body language indicating that she was willing the fiendfyre to extinguish.

For the next thirty milliseconds, the tiger brightened and dimmed, as if caught between obeying its creator and fulfilling its ultimate purpose. On average, it trended toward slowing and shrinking, but was still on an intercept course for Fawkes, who had blurred into a red-gold orb.

At 390 milliseconds, nothing was visible other than a featureless but impossibly bright red glow.

After 400 milliseconds, all the fire had faded away completely.

After 500 milliseconds, the doctor had stumbled to his feet and lurching across most of the room toward the doorway. A blasting curse surged past him, blowing a hole through the opposite wall and allowing light to stream into the room.

He glanced back in time to see Bellatrix still aiming her wand at the hole with her right hand, the back of her left hand rushing toward his face.

Then the pensieve went black again.

* * *

McGonagall began, "If I hadn't already seen Harry with Fawkes and the stone, I think that would've given me a heart attack."

Hermione replied, "Last-second solutions are common in muggle fiction to resolve a catastrophe in the last few possible seconds, but that was three or four orders of magnitude closer than anything I'm familiar with."

Harry said nothing; he was already activating his time turner.

Future Harry pulled off an invisibility cloak as Bones and Moody arrived through the floo.

Moody asked Harry, "Do you really think you can bring the dead aurors back to life? The volunteers helping to dig out the DLME thought I was nuts for having them transfigure bodies into coins to preserve them."

"Probably not all of them, but... let's just say I have some ideas."

"Well, I'd like to see that. How much time do you need to prepare?"

"There's something I want to test as soon as possible. I don't know if we can trust Azkaban; we'll have to set up a temporary healing area."

Moody sighed, "I have some emergency safe-houses prepared around Britain. We can rotate through those for a while."

Hermione frowned, "Harry, you're not going to do something stupid, are you?"

"I promise that if I think something is stupid, I won't do it... Anyway, I've been meaning to ask: didn't any of the aurors have time turners? Couldn't they have sent multiple versions of themselves back like Bellatrix did? To eliminate her increase in manpower and her advantage in foreknowledge?"

Bones looked appalled, "In that situation, it would practically guarantee that those involved would suffer temporal psychosis. Before today, I'd have considered it unthinkable that anyone would use such a tactic."

Harry nodded, "So while that action could save the lives of aurors, they couldn't know whether it would be worth the risk without knowing the result of the battle. And because the aurors had an overwhelming advantage in numbers, they probably assumed they could win fairly easily. That makes sense."

"It's more than that. Many people believe temporal psychosis involves damage to the soul and would never consider it worth the risk under any circumstances."

Hermione interjected, "Can you explain temporal psychosis, and if it's such a threat, why Bellatrix risked it?"

Bones answered, "Time can't be changed, even using a time turner. So when someone knows their future self is present and then sees something bad happen, they know that their choices will inevitably lead them to travel back and reach that outcome. Experiencing that sense of hopelessness and futility for at least an hour can be overwhelming. People in that situation report feeling that they've lost their free will, become mere pawns of destiny. They begin to behave in ways that are out of character, reinforcing the idea that they're no longer in control, as if they were imperiused by time itself. Sometimes it's temporary, ending after they no longer have foreknowledge of events, but it can be permanent."

McGonagall inquired, "So you don't go crazy just from trying to think through time travel paradoxes?"

Moody smirked briefly, "Migraine yes, crazy no."

Hermione nodded, "So only Bellatrix was willing to risk that."

Moody grunted, "After serving Voldemort and a decade of dementor exposure, I don't know how she's still on her feet. She's a surprisingly high-functioning form of totally insane. Maybe temporal psychosis would be an improvement."

Harry remarked, "It's somewhat surprising how many tactics the Bellatrix had prepared that aurors weren't prepared for."

Hermione commented, "I don't think 'Bellatrix' is the plural of 'Bellatrix'."

Harry shrugged, "Between time travel and copies of people, standard English grammar is overly restrictive in this situation."

Moody replied impatiently, "Fighting with minimal shielding is a common tactic for advanced dueling. The goal is to expend less magical power defensively so more is available for offensive spells. The trade-off is that it requires lots of physical exertion for dodging, the ability to quickly recognize and deflect specific spells, and the willingness to get hit by some spells when you can't avoid everything. And you have to be certain that the spells that hit you won't neutralize you. The opponent typically counters this strategy by alternating more powerful attacks with low power spells which are as esoteric as possible, to try to force them to use more effort on defense. But I've never seen anyone take it to that level. It's unbelievable that Bellatrix was able to stay unshielded for so long against concentrated fire from a much larger force without being stunned or injured, much less killed. She was faster than anyone I've ever seen, but still...

"And the imperius curse was obviously a force-multiplier that isn't available to aurors. Aurors are trained to resist the imperius, but anyone's mental defenses are compromised for a moment after a cruciatus curse. They were able to break free sooner or later, but she timed those moments effectively. Probably because she knew what was going to happen. And a single inferius isn't much of a threat to a competent wizard. It took her longer to make them than it took to neutralize them: she was doing it entirely for the psychological effect on the aurors."

Bones added, "She must have cast an unusual shield. I've heard of wizards who could apply an unbreakability charm to their own skin, but it's of limited value because it severely restricts movement. Maybe she was using a variant of something like that. And she probably took a strength potion or something based on what she could do unarmed."

McGonagall asked, "That last memory ended with Bellatrix diving through a hole in the wall. After that, was she captured? Or killed?"

Bones shook her head, "We searched the tower and island, and there was no body or even blood anywhere, so she must have landed in the water. Aurors briefly flew over the ocean nearby, but didn't find anything. Even so, I don't see any way she could have survived. No one could survive that fall, and no one could survive in that water for long. Certainly not long enough to get outside the anti-apparition wards."

Harry glanced around the table then looked down and muttered, "Oh no." After thinking for another moment, he let his head drop into his hands, "Oh, no..." After another moment, he rested his head on the table and quietly said, "Oh, no."

After a pause, McGonagall prompted, "Harry?"

Harry sat back and calmly asked, "How many ways are there to heal a missing arm or leg?"

McGonagall frowned, "None. Other than with the philosopher's stone, I suppose."

"That doesn't really heal. Transfiguration does the healing; the stone just fixes the transfiguration."

Moody asked, "Are you suggesting Bellatrix transfigured an arm for herself this summer and has been sustaining the transfiguration since then?"

"If that was the only mystery about her, I might be satisfied with that explanation. But... if I said something appears to be inhumanly strong, immune to various spells, and probably recovered from a severed arm, what am I describing? Or if I said something had superhuman speed and was mysteriously immune to suspicion?"

The others' expressions lit up with sudden understanding, and Harry concluded, "In retrospect, I think the most surprising part may be that they found a way to weaponize an aura of innocence."

Bones interrupted, "I've read about the spell that gives people the abilities of magical creatures. It's temporary. There's no way she's been using it since the summer; she'd be dead."

"She got to the stone, so it's permanent now. Before... there must be a way around that. Maybe by reapplying it occasionally, or maybe she was transfigured into a small object for most of that time so not much time passed for her. But Bellatrix is definitely still alive. And so is Voldemort."

Bones frowned, "Explain."

Harry paused for a moment, then explained quickly, "Would Bellatrix on her own have let a phoenix escape with the stone rather than destroying them both? Or escape rather than fighting to the death to get her objective? Or trusted anyone else to apply spells required? I suppose it's possible Voldemort gave Bellatrix instructions in case of his disappearance; claimed that the stone was required to bring him back. I think this was less of a serious attempt to steal the stone, and more about sending a message: that Voldemort thinks using the stone to help people is a frivolous act and an unnecessary risk, and he's going to oppose me on it."

McGonagall frowned, "You make it sound like you're a part of Voldemort's plans."

"There's no way I'm not part of Voldemort's plans."

Bones exclaimed angrily, "A message? Nearly a third of Britain's aurors died today!"

Harry sighed, "You saw her and you heard what Mad-Eye said. She could have killed everyone there. She was playing. And how often has Voldemort sent a message that didn't come with a body-count?"

Everyone was silent for a moment, then Hermione asked, "Can someone explain what happened with the fiendfyre? It also seemed to me like it was trying to fight Bellatrix to get to Fawkes."

McGonagall answered, "Dumbledore said they were closely related forms of magic. Phoenixes are a nearly inexhaustible source of life and magic, while fiendfyre is a nearly unquenchable force for the destruction of life and magic. Fiendfyre is one of very few magics which can kill a phoenix and a phoenix is one of few things which can extinguish fiendfyre while the caster is still alive and willing it on."

Bones stood impatiently, "If there are no other pressing questions, I have to supervise the security of a country with a significantly reduced auror force. And apparently hunt down a super-powered dark witch." No one said anything before she exited through the floo.

* * *

As Harry was returning to his office, the air in front of him shimmered into a human form. He jumped back and drew his wand before recognizing Moody.

"You didn't mention everything that you concluded back there. Also, you respond to ambushes way too slowly."

"Pretend I don't know what you're talking about. I need to hear you say it."

Moody frowned, "Everyone who knew about the stone was either under an unbreakable vow or in that office. Someone is a traitor."

Harry nodded sadly, "And you have a suspect."

"I want to hear _you_ say it."

"I... have some suspicions about Hermione."

Moody laughed humorlessly, "I've had suspicions about her since she failed the possessed-by-a-horcrux test. You even pointed out how dumb my secondary test was. I was surprised everyone let it go so easily."

"I've told you... about the prophecy and the about the vow. Eventually, this world will end. In order for any of the people to survive, I'll have to 'choose a path of lesser destruction over one of greater destruction', which will require Hermione's approval. If anything happens to her, everyone dies. That's why I couldn't risk coming to you earlier. But I'm afraid Voldemort wanted me in power with himself secretly advising me. Unfortunately, he's probably bringing about the prophecy he intended to avoid: the world is doomed yet I'm guessing Voldemort will be willing to sacrifice humanity to save the physical planet, with his precious horcrux network hidden around it."

Moody nodded slowly, "I'll start looking into non-lethal ways to expel a soul from a host. Because I'm sure there's lots of information available about the options there."


	16. Reflections on Atlantis (Omake)

HPMoR Origins: Reflections on Atlantis (Omake)

Aurelius giggled to himself, anxiously waiting for his sister Julia's return.

"Aurelius!"

He involuntarily jumped and screamed, wishing, not for the first time, that apparition made some sound to announce a person's arrival. "Uncle Marcus. What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? What are you still doing here? You should have been evacuated by now."

Aurelius frowned, "I'm not an idiot. Atlantis is the safest place in the world. And this is Loki's Day. I know a prank when I see one."

"Loki does not deserve a holiday. If he ever comes back from Scandinavia, he'll be locked up for..."

Aurelius flinched as Marcus muttered a string of very bad words, which don't translate well but are a few syllables short of completing a very illegal torture curse. "Half of Atlantis has been destroyed with hundreds dead, and somehow Loki's still responsible. They all must have assumed the danger was just a joke...I need to find Antonius. Where is he? Or Cornelia?"

"Mom and dad both had meetings scheduled all day. They're not supposed to be back for hours."

"Well, let's go find them."

A moment later, they had arrived in the apparation room of the Atlantean capitol building. Walking down the main hallway, they quickly realized that the building was deserted.

"What exactly-" The sound of a muffled explosion interrupted Aurelius' question. A slight tremor shook the floor.

Marcus hesitated, then moved quickly to the staircase. "Hopefully someone is still in the command room."

As they ran up the stairs, another explosion shook the building, almost sending them back down.

They emerged into the command room. Through the windows, which provided a clear view of the entire city, Aurelius could see that his uncle had not been joking. To the south there was a large void, like a wide, shallow crater, extending from the nearby towers into the distance. Many of the buildings nearby were engulfed in an unnatural purple flame.

The next explosion threw them to the floor. When they got back up, the room was filled with a bright purple glow; the fire had spread to the outside of the tower.

Marcus muttered another curse, then added, "That's it, I'm going to use one of the Wands of Power."

Aurelius looked at him, shocked, "You're not allowed to do that."

Marcus walked toward a table with four stone boxes on it in the center of the room. "Look around. The Central Court is in flames and the council appears to have fled. There are no laws at the moment and someone has to do something..." He tapped one of the boxes with his wand. "Dammit. The Wand of Preservation and Invincibility is gone. I could've used that to cast a protection ward over the surviving parts of the city... The Wand of Creation and Life and the Wand of Change are also gone..." He sighed in relief, "Not my first, second, or third choice, but at least the Wand of Death and Destruction is still here."

"Um... how is that going to help?"

"It shouldn't be difficult. I'll ask it to conjure an army of something capable of eliminating the threat." Marcus picked up the blacker-than-black wand and closed his eyes to concentrate.

A moment later, the room filled with dozens of cloaked figures. Marcus lowered the wand and the figures quickly flew out the windows in all directions. The room dimmed as the flames froze and fell away.

Aurelius shivered, "Those things look evil. Why do they have to look like that? Were you trying to make flying corpses? Are you sure they're not worse than- What exactly are we fighting?"

Marcus sighed, "Some kind of magical fire zebras, apparently."

Aurelius turned pale, "Zebras?"

"Yeah, does that mean something to you?"

"No, that was just a prank! It's Loki's Day!"

"Aurelius, what did you do?"

"Julia's started studying wandless magic..."

"Get there faster."

"After some of the beginner stuff, I added a page with a spell that conjures a zebra. And a page after it with the instruction to use the spell 'geminullus' to dispel it. The description noted that some emotions, like surprise or frustration, prevent that spell from functioning correctly. She was supposed to spend all day chasing the zebra through the city trying to dispel it with a fake spell."

Marcus immediately grabbed Aurelius' arm and apparated south near the edge of the crater. "We have to look for your sister."

Aurelius looked around. The ruined buildings were caked with purple ice and there was a zebra corpse in every direction he looked.

Marcus exclaimed suddenly, "Dammit, your fake spell sounds close to 'gemino'. She must have been trying variants in the pronunciation. That could explain this."

"Multiple zebras I understand, but what about the fiery explosions?"

"'Gemino' normally conjures objects purely by magic, but a degraded form could make copies by reshaping nearby matter instead. Everything would be consumed; buildings, vehicles, even the ground itself. The sudden appearance of voids would sound like thunder and such a spell could easily release enough heat to start fires... Where would your sister have gone?"

Aurelius gestured, "She liked to practice in the park-" The rest of his answer was interrupted by apparating away. Marcus quickly cast a locater spell and they apparated away again.

They arrived a few blocks south of the park, and immediately found Julia. Her eyes were open, and she was breathing but unresponsive. Marcus cast a series of diagnostic spells then shook his head. "Nothing..."

"Nothing? I don't understand." Aurelius looked up at him, panicked, "She stopped breathing. Do something."

Marcus took three deep breaths, leveled his wand and commanded, 'resurrectus mira'.

"She's breathing again." Aurelius shook her shoulders, "Julia, wake up!"

"Please help me!" They spun to see a man running toward them, with a flying corpse closing in on him. He tripped on the uneven ground and it descended onto him. Marcus fired a series of blasting curses at it. It stared at him for a few seconds then flew off.

The man didn't move. Marcus cast the diagnostic spells on him, then shook his head, "It's the same thing." He pulled out the Wand of Death and stared at it for a moment. "No one should ever use this. Why would anyone even make it?", he asked, then snapped it in half and dropped it.

"Uncle, look", Aurelius pointed to one of the flying corpses, which had turned and started flying toward them. "And there's another."

Marcus quickly apparated them back to the capitol building, into a large storage room. "Try to find a chrono-apparation orb. I can fix this."

Aurelius questioned, "I know those let you apparate up to six hours forward or backward but you can't use them to change anything. How will that help?"

"The charms on the orb limit the user from doing those things. If I blast open the orb, I can release the Sands of Time within and use that magic directly. It's considered extremely dangerous, but I don't see how things could get any worse... Ah, here's one."

As he broke the orb, a flying corpse broke through the door. It dived and grabbed him just as he disapparated and both disappeared.

Aurelius suddenly found himself in a space made of white light. He was somehow able to watch the entire world below him. He saw that the monster had disrupted his uncle's control over time, so they had apparated much earlier than intended. That thing killed the founders of Atlantis as they were deep in meditation, channeling the magic necessary to conjure the island. By killing them, the flying corpse apparently absorbed sufficient magic to reproduce itself thousands of times. Aurelius briefly wondered whether anyone would even remember Atlantis or its magic. It had become the city that never was.

Aurelius noticed a doorway in front of him. On other side were his family members, Julia, Marcus, and his parents. He ran forward to meet them but fell after bumping into a glass... window? No, a mirror. He stood and found that he was somehow on the other side.

Julia smiled, "I got you this year."

Cornelia snapped, "Julia, apologize!"

She rolled her eyes, and recited in a monotone voice, "I'm sorry I trapped you in a magic mirror."

"What? How long have I..."

Julia smiled, "About a year."

Cornelia warned, "Julia."

She sighed, "Just 16 hours. It's less than you deserve for what you did last year. But at least you missed all of Loki's Day."

Antonius frowned, "Loki does not deserve a holiday. If he ever comes back from Scandinavia, he'll be locked up for a very long time."

Marcus smiled, "Now that all that's settled, let's go to Rome for dinner. They've recently invented something called 'pizza' that I think you'll enjoy."

As they turned to leave, Antonius turned back to the mirror, "Why is it still showing that world? Shouldn't it have stopped once no one was left inside the mirror?"

Cornelia shrugged, "Yeah, that's a little strange. I'll ask one of the experts about it tomorrow."

Marcus shuddered, "Naturally of all the worlds people have built in that mirror, that abomination with its soul-eating monsters and no Atlantis would be the one it decides to preserve."


	17. Bonus Chapter (Omake)

Bonus Chapter (Omake)

I've posted these things on Reddit, but I've decided to repost them here before they become lost to time. If you haven't read it, it's new to you.

* * *

A draft chapter from Harry's second year

Three students had been petrified. Petrified as in transfigured into stone. McGonagall announced that the transfiguration could be reversed safely with a potion, unfortunately that potion required some dangerous and rare ingredients that would take most of the school-year to prepare.

Draco's group, the Curious School Inquirers, who had taken it upon themselves to look into mysterious aspects of Hogwarts, had thus far been unable to find an explanation. Even Draco's new habit of carrying a muggle magnifying glass and wearing a deerstalker hat had proven insufficient to bring the situation into focus.

Harry tried, unsuccessfully, to convince Hermione to stop trying to confront the mysterious dark force. While a troll's auto-transfiguration would likely prove immune to the effect, Harry couldn't avoid the obvious parallels to his method of neutralizing Voldemort.

But, like Draco, Hermione had been unable to discover what was going on.

Harry decided to take a quick break from researching spells and artifacts that could cause petrification transfigurations, either as a primary goal or potential side effect, and look into alternate ways to help those who were affected. While being petrified for 6 months wasn't nearly the worst thing that could happen to someone, those students would ultimately have to repeat the year. Harry sympathized with being separated from familiar classmates and friends, given that, though he was taking second year charms and defense, he was taking 4th year potions, runes, and transfiguration and 6th year arithmancy. He began thumbing through some of the more obscure potions texts he had accumulated, looking for alternative cures.

Eventually, he found an arcane transfiguration reversal potion, based primarily around a magical plant known as a phoenix-feather reed, which needed to be harvested in a very specific, careful way in order to transfer its magical properties to the potion. The downside was that it wasn't guaranteed to work; the odds of successful transfiguration reversal were related to the weight of the reeds used in the potion, but it never got above 80%. Still, there were no obvious downsides, so Harry decided to pursue it. He discovered that those reeds grew among the plants around the shore of Hogwarts lake.

After talking to Professor McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey, and later, the entire school, he had a small army of volunteers to help. He made sure all of them knew how to identify the correct plant, and a smaller number knew how to correctly harvest it. The larger group of students cut down the weeds and tossed them into a pile, allowing the smaller group to access and careful harvest the phoenix-feather reeds. Harry, meanwhile, transfigured a thin layer of metal over a natural depression in the ground, creating a huge cauldron, and began preparing the rest of the potion.

After a few hours, Harry had the cauldron ready. The students had made their way around almost half of the lake and prepared a small bundle of plants for the potion, yet Harry calculated that it was only enough to give the potion a 10% chance of success. He made a noise of disgust, almost giving up on his plan. Then his eyes lit up, and he grabbed armful after armful of the non-magical plants, and tossed them into the cauldron.

Hermione saw what he was doing and yelled, "Harry, that's not what the instructions say. What are you doing?!"

"Isn't it obvious?" He replied, "The weeds of the many outweigh the reeds of the few."

originally posted at (HPMOR 314xg1)

* * *

After actually_just_idiot posted "And the mirror will be suspended above a fiery wasteland. Not because they moved it, that's just what Hogwarts became in Harry's 4th year." (at HPMOR 2y3gv2 cp5wfrf) and gameboy17 replied "Turns out a Hogwarts science fair was exactly as bad as his parents would have guessed. " (at cp5wm14):

If Hogwarts had a science fair...

Entry 41: Harry James Potter Evans-Verres, "Magical Artifacts Applied to Preliminary Terra-Forming"

Materials: one pair of vanishing cabinets, one phoenix

Theory: Mars has too little greenhouse gas to be habitable. Venus has too much. Obvious solution is obvious. Phoenixi are capable of near-instantaneous (it has yet to be determined how their speed compares to the speed of light) teleportation.

Procedure: The doors of both cabinets were removed, creating a stable wormhole between the two artifacts. A phoenix was instructed to put one cabinet on the planet Mars (this process took several days). After returning, the phoenix was given a few days off and then instructed to put the other cabinet on Venus.

Results: A phoenix can apparently only travel a few hundred million kilometers before regenerating; a limit that was previously unknown due to the fact that wizards have only used them for travel near Earth's surface, where the maximum travel distance is less than 13 thousand kilometers. This limit requires further experimentation to precisely determine.

Gas instantly began flowing from the high pressure atmosphere of Venus to the low pressure atmosphere of Mars. Currently, large vortical storm systems are centered around the cabinets on both planets. After the pressure equalizes, flow will stop and stage 2 (the selection and transplantation of appropriate extremophiles) can begin. I've been informed that NASA's planetary protection committee is very upset by the contamination of Mars and will likely oppose stage 2 as well.

Fawkes' current location is unknown. Due to the well-known regeneration abilities of phoenixi (and witnesses seeing him with the headmaster several times in the past few days), this researcher suspects he is hiding from me; apparently saving a phoenix' master from magical solitary confinement only goes so far for those ungrateful fire-chickens.

originally posted at (HPMOR 2y3gv2 cp5yhmt)

* * *

In response to someone who posted the title "Chapter 123 " with the text "Just kidding. " shortly after HPMoR concluded (at HPMOR 2z31zg):

Just for that, this is what you get:

Chapter 123: Futility

Harry awoke the next day, eager to eat breakfast and study with Hermione. As he arrived in the great hall, an owl arrived and presented him with a letter. He opened the envelope and frowned when he pulled out a second envelope. He began to tear open the inner envelope when he felt the pull of a portkey. "Dumbledore can't inspect and return my mail anymore", he realized. He landed in a small room, lit by a dim blue glow coming from nowhere or everywhere. There was only one door, and Harry walked over and opened it.

A sealed horror flowed out of its prison, snapping Harry's neck with two of its tentacles. It then began tunneling upward out of the room. Civilization didn't survive long after that.


	18. Recklessness, Pt 1

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 18: Recklessness, pt. 1

Author's note: It's probably obvious that I've been having difficulty getting motivated to write recently, so I'm putting this story onto a steep glide path for the ending. I may come back and add in scenes or details or clean it up later, but for now, I'm sure everyone would prefer a story with an ending to yet another abandoned story, forever partially finished.

* * *

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world and, though Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors, work on the Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities and the temporary hospital in Azkaban tower has been shut down after being compromised by Bellatrix. Many aurors were killed or fatally injured and are in transfiguration-based stasis awaiting treatment.

Moody detected evidence of horcrux possession on Hermione and probably on Sprout. Draco and other students demonstrated unusual behavior and were later found to have been memory charmed. Harry thought of potential countermeasures Voldemort could have used against parseltongue and obliviation and suspects that Voldemort survived, that his plan had been to pretend to lose while preparing a powerful and immortal host for himself who Harry would trust implicitly (and explicitly, given the unbreakable vow). Unfortunately, that same vow prevented Harry from sharing his suspicions, until Moody revealed that he'd been thinking similar things. Thus far, efforts to locate a horcrux at Hogwarts have been unsuccessful.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. And obviously plotting something.

Harry has a relatively long list of things he intends to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, time-turner paradoxes, magic-technology interactions, and rescuing Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem or whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped, so he has focused more strongly on learning arithmancy, which involves putting spells together to achieve novel functions.

* * *

A girl skipped through the hallways, barefoot, wearing robes several sizes too large, and apparently also oblivious to the rest of her surroundings.

"Lovegood! Wow, did you pick the wrong hallway. Do you have any idea how many of our families you've slandered with that disgusting thing you call a newspaper? Do you have any idea what we're going to do to you?"

A brief moment of eye contact before her eyes unfocused again. "You're going to give me ice cream I assume. Why else would I bring you here?"

A confused pause. "Only if 'ice cream' is what 'pain' is called in that bag of retarded cats you use for a brain."

"No, thank you; that would be unpleasant. Ooh- a ride on a winged horse would be more pleasant than ice cream. That's what you should do before you disappear."

"We're not going anywhere, Loony. We're going to give you a brief introduction to reality."

She laughed, "Reality! This is a dream, silly. I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but when I wake up in a few hours, you'll cease to exist. Unless my subconscious decides you deserve to get resurrected, I guess. But so far, you're wasting your existence. If I know my dreams, Professor Lockhart and Headmaster Dumbledore are about to show up, wearing orange and pink robes, and they'll turn you guys into winged horses so we can fly around until breakfast time."

There was a longer pause. Then they raised their wands-

Only to quickly hide them as Lockhart stepped out of an intersecting hallway, wearing orange robes with pink horses on them. "Hello, Luna. I love winged horses. How are you tonight?"

Luna smiled. The others slowly backed away.

Then startled as Dumbledore walked up behind them, wearing pink robes with orange horses on them and added, "I also think there are far too few winged horses here today. What do you think, Luna?"

The others ran past her before she could answer. Lockhart and Dumbledore just shook their heads, turned and walked away.

The girl's skin stretched and twisted for a few seconds, transforming into Tonks. "Okay, Harry, NOW will you explain this? And WHY can't I just blast them with something unpleasant? And how did you get Professor Lockhart to play along?"

Harry pulled back his invisibility cloak. "Luna's great, but seriously, who would believe she was secretly a battle magic prodigy? It's much more believable that she'd be able to accidental-magic the entire universe into something weirder any time it started to make too much sense. You could probably convince a lot of people that that has already happened; imagine how many Quibbler headlines it would explain."

Dumbledore and Lockhart returned. They turned to each other and simultaneously cast, "Polyfluis reverso."

Fred and George smiled and turned toward Harry. George said, "That was awesome."

Fred added, "What other pranks do you have planned?"

Harry replied, "Nothing at the moment. But don't worry, I'll let you know."

"And before we forget again, our dad wants to talk to you about muggle stuff."

"He was going to send you an owl."

"Yeah, I got it the other day. It's on my list."

* * *

 _The Auror had fallen to the ground, one knee and one hand supporting himself as the other hand gestured frantically and his mouth shouted desperate words, the few incantations that Harry recognized were all shield spells, as a flock of shadows spun around the Auror like a whirlwind of razors._

 _And Harry saw Professor Quirrell's Polyjuiced form deliberately point his wand at where the Auror kneeled and fought the last moments of his battle._

 _"Surrender," said the gravelly voice._

 _The Auror spat something unspeakable._

 _In that case," said the voice, Avada -"_

 _Time seemed to move very slowly, like there was time to hear the individual syllables, Ke, and Da, and Vra, time to watch the Auror starting to throw himself desperately aside; and even though it was all happening so slowly, somehow there wasn't time to do anything, no time for Harry to open his lips and scream NO, no time to move, maybe even not any time to think._

 _Then there was pain._

Harry groaned and picked up his watch. He sighed and put it back. Another dream about Voldemort, with Dementors and Death nearby. His compulsion to provide healing with the Philosopher's Stone and inability to act on it would naturally monopolize his subconscious. He decided he would have to begin studying warding so he could help rework Hogwarts' wards himself. He then felt around the bed for his wand, pointed it at himself and whispered, 'somnium'.

* * *

 _"There are still physical anchors for your immortality," Harry said aloud. "It resembles the old horcrux spell by that much, which is another reason you still call them horcruxes. If I'm wrong, you can always deny it in Parseltongue."_

 _Professor Quirrell was smiling evilly. "Your guesss iss right, boy, for all the good it doess you."_

 _"One horcux dropped into an active volcano, weighted so it would sink into the Earth's mantle. One horcrux buried kilometers down, in an anonymous cubic meter of the Earth's crust. One horcrux you dropped into the Mariana Trench. One horcrux floating high in the stratosphere, transparent. Even you don't know where they are, because you Obliviated the exact details from your memory. And the last horcrux is the Pioneer 11 plaque that you snuck into NASA and modified. It's where you get your image of the stars, when you cast the spell of starlight. Fire, earth, water, air, void." Something of a riddle, the Defense Professor had called it, and therefore Harry had remembered it. Something of a Riddle. "Tell me, teacher," Harry hissed, "would desstroying thosse five anchors sslay you? "_

 _"Your ssusspicion iss right, boy. Desstroying thosse five would not render me mortal."_

 _Harry's throat felt a bit dry again. If the spell had no disastrous cost associated with it... "How many anchorss did you make? "_

 _"Would not ordinarily ssay, but iss clear you have already guesssed." The Defense Professor's smile widened. "Ansswer iss that I do not know. Sstopped counting ssomewhere around one hundred and sseven. Ssimply made a habit of it each time I murdered ssomeone in private."_

Harry groaned and looked at his watch. Finally, it was breakfast time.

* * *

"Excellent technique, Mr. Zabini", Lockhart complimented over the scattered applause. "You should think about trying to get onto a dueling team in a few years. Next, let's have Ms. Bulstrode and...", he glanced at a parchment while quietly commenting, "who hasn't participated in a while... Mr. Potter."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Really?" He glanced toward Milicent, "No offense." He looked back at Lockhart, "Seriously, how hard would it be to start an Elo rating system for this?"

"And who would you prefer to duel?"

"I don't know... Although... we haven't seen you actually do anything this year. That could be illuminating."

Lockhart smiled, "I suppose stunning you would be the fastest way to stop you from disrupting class." He waved Harry to the front right of the class walked to the left.

After they were ready, Harry raised his wand and fired the first shot.

Lockhart spun to his right, the light of the expelliarmus narrowly grazing his robe. As he turned, he pointed his wand backwards and fired a stupify blindly. He smoothly finished the turn facing Harry with his wand raised.

Harry watched the red light fly off to his right, at least 30 degrees off target, smirked, and prepared to fire again. Meanwhile, the spell ricocheted off Lockhart's desk and hit Harry in the side of the head. He dropped.

Lockhart suppressed a grin, "Okay, class, first of all, don't use trick shots like that (unless you become a professional and really want to make a point). In a real fight, it's a good way to get killed. And more importantly, don't make his mistake: never underestimate an opponent."

Hanna raised her hand and asked, "What rule number is that one?"

Lockhart frowned, "I never needed to number that rule; I assumed it was obvious."

* * *

Moody grunted approvingly, "It's about time we moved against Lockhart. What's the plan? And what did you catch him doing?"

Harry froze, "I... don't have a good answer for that. It just kind of happened."

Moody scowled, "You attacked a dark wizard with no plan? Now he probably knows we're onto him. It will be that much harder to catch him doing whatever he's doing. Are you getting dumber?"

Harry sighed, "I've had a lot on my mind. And relative to last year, there's also that mind-altering spell I'm under."

Moody retorted, "Are you telling me the world would've ended if you hadn't challenged Lockhart?"

Harry looked down and shook his head.

Moody scoffed and shook his head. McGonagall interjected, "So obviously you must serve detention. Luckily, Professor Lockhart doesn't want to supervise your detention; he said he doesn't have time to deal with you this evening. So I'll let you choose between helping with Potions, History of Magic, or Arithmancy."

* * *

Professor Vector shrugged, "I don't get many students serving detention here. A few students come in regularly for extra help with class. I guess do what you can for them. Otherwise, I don't know, organize the closet or study quietly."

Harry nodded in understanding and Vector went into the adjoining office.

Some time later, Percy Weasley entered the classroom.

Harry frowned, "Aren't you doing really well in this class?"

"Yes, and now you know why. So why are you here?"

Harry shrugged, "Detention slash reading an introduction to warding theory. I'm supposed to help students with Arithmancy if I can. Do you want to learn about preparing a site for a basic warding spell?"

"Not really. I remember that you know more advanced things about flying spells. Let's talk about that."

Harry shrugged again, "Okay, I could use a break from this stuff anyway."

"Also, my father is really interested in talking to you about muggle technology and how you've used it along with magic. I think he sent you an owl."

"He did. We scheduled an appointment."

* * *

"Tom Riddle!"

Harry froze then drew his wand slowly. He didn't recognize the voices and couldn't see anyone in the hallway. Apparently everyone in this hallway was invisible.

"Tom Harry Potter-Riddle-Evans-Verres!" Simultaneously, a balled-up parchment hit Harry in the back. He dodged and crouched against a wall, pointing his wand in the direction the object had originated. Another small object hit him in the back. Someone could evidently track him despite his invisibility cloak, while he lacked a similar-

Never mind, he'd handled that before. "Luminos maximus", he called, holding up his wand and shutting his eyes while running a short distance down the hall. "Glisseo." He then blindly fired stunners at the sounds of squeaking shoes and hands hitting the floor.

He walked over to the sleeping bodies. "You idiots. Enervate. Enervate. YOU IDIOTS!" Fred and George looked up at him blankly. "You're lucky to be alive. What are you thinking, attacking people in hallways at night while Vo... What are you idiots thinking?"

"We knew you were walking alone at night wearing an invisibility cloak", Fred began as they slowly stood up.

"So it must be safe for us to walk around together and invisible, despite whatever."

"You're still really lucky. I mean, if I'd been someone bad, I could've killed you", Harry replied.

"To be fair, we thought we were in a strong enough position to handle whatever you'd do."

"Especially after we were reminded that you really still can lose a duel."

"This prank looked foolproof on parchment."

"So what's the deal with the Tom Riddle thing?"

"How were you following me? And where... oh. I take it you guys found the map again. So I guess my question is how were you reading it while you were invisible?"

"What map?"

"Wait, what do you mean 'again'?"

"Yeah, you had it last year, then Voldemort took it and obliviated you. How did you get it back anyway?"

George answered, "We found it", while Fred simultaneously exclaimed, "We made it."

Harry scoffed, "You didn't make it. It's part of the Hogwarts security system. Students couldn't make anything like that."

Fred held out the map so Harry could read it, "Yeah, because the Hogwarts founders used the code names 'Mooney', 'Padfoot', 'Prongs', and 'Wormtail'."

George added, "And of course they'd use the password, 'I solemnly swear I'm up to no good', for their security." The map fell open as he finished.

Fred continued, "And don't think you can distract us that easily. What did you do with the real Harry Potter?"

"I...", Harry paused for a moment, then gasped, spun around, and sprinted down the hallway.

"I'll give him 9/10 for foiling the prank..."

"But his exit strategy needs work."

"If he'd used that bright light to cover his escape, it would've been a 10/10."

"Maybe we should go after him?"

"He did seem to think it's unsafe alone out here."

"It's for his own safety, really."

They jogged down the hallway.

* * *

Harry had nearly reached the gargoyles when he intercepted McGonagall returning to her office.

"Headmistress McGonagall, do you know who the 'Marauders' are?"

She frowned, then smiled at him, "In retrospect, I'm surprised it's taken you this long to ask."

Harry frowned, "You knew and you didn't bring it up before?"

"I prefer to think about happier times, rather than the endless series of detentions I had to supervise once I figured out who they were."

"Thinking happy thoughts? Over what could be the key to the future of the world!?"

"Wait, what?"

"That there are apparently one or more charms prodigies out there with experience hacking into Hogwarts' wards?"

"Oh. I thought you were asking about your father. Wait, they accessed the wards?"

"There's a map of Hogwarts that Voldemort had last year. It's either powerful enough to track everyone on the grounds or it's linked to the security wards. It's extremely unlikely that students would have been able to produce something with that kind of reach and have it last this long, so I'm betting on the latter. And what did you say about my father?"

"James Potter was one of the Marauders. He went by 'Prongs', named for his stag animagus form. The others were Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black."

Harry frowned, "It seems overly improbable that I've heard about all these people before."

McGonagall shrugged, "As children, they were talented and motivated to learn magic, though they often used what they knew in ways that got them in trouble. So naturally, as adults, they were knowledgeable and capable and not predisposed to keeping their heads down when things got bad."

Harry nodded, "Fair enough."

McGonagall suddenly spun to her left, wand raised, and cast, "Homenum Revelio."

Fred and George glanced at each other. George observed, "We're zero for two at this."

Fred continued, "We should probably stop until we learn the real disillusionment spell rather than the beginner version."

George nodded then turned to Harry, "So you're a junior marauder..."

Fred continued, "Yeah, that explains so much."

McGonagall began to nod, then stopped herself. Then she waved her wand and the map flew out of Fred's robes and into her hand. She added dryly, "If the two of you have nowhere else to be, I'm sure I can make the time to discuss where you obtained this and go over all of the jobs around this school that could benefit from your talents." They retreated quickly.

McGonagall frowned after casting a series of charms on the map, "Are you sure this does anything?"

Harry took that map and pronounced, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good". The map opened and Harry handed it back to McGonagall. "Anyway, we should give Remus Lupin whatever amount of money it takes for him to consult with the warding specialists. He apparently has a few years head start on them, so he may be able to speed up progress on the hospital project."

"I'll contact him first thing tomorrow." She was distracted by movement on the map, "What is going on in the Forbidden Forrest? There must be forty people out there."

"That's odd. We should check it out."

"You go to bed. I'll check."

* * *

There was a scream. McGonagall started jogging. From the last time she checked the map, she estimated that she was relatively close to the group. Possibly not too late to help whoever was in trouble.

Thirty seconds later, she could see occasional red flashes through the trees. A few seconds later she could hear voices. She couldn't understand the words, but heard occasional laughter.

Then there was another scream. Then whole area lit up with red light.

"... more observant. I cannot overstate the importance of situational awareness." She recognized the voice as Lockhart. He continued, "Now you'll have to excuse me for a moment." He emerged from the crowd, walking toward McGonagall. "Good evening, Headmistress. What seems to be the problem?"

"What... is going on here?"

"Well, you asked me to deal with the acromantula infestation. It turned out that there were quite a lot of them. So I did the obvious thing."

"You asked a lot of people to help out?"

"Oh, no. I put up some advertisements, 'Dark Creature Defense Seminar with Gilderoy Lockhart (with book signing to follow)'. And I set the price lower than I'd have preferred to make sure the turnout was high. So I've been teaching everyone how to track and stun acromantulas and some useful tips about the other animals out here."

"This doesn't seem safe at all."

Lockhart flashed a smile, "One moment please." He turned and fired a stupify, hitting an acromantula in midair. After firing the stunner, he cast a hover charm and pulled a woman aside just before it landed where she'd been standing. She screamed. Dozens of stunning charms hit the already unconscious spider as the others turned and saw it.

Lockhart called out, "Acromantulas also sometimes ambush prey rather than waiting for it to become trapped in their webs. They often drop from tree branches onto their prey, so it's important to stay aware of what's above you." He turned back to McGonagall, "They're obviously not the best at this, but I've got everything under control. Also, I negotiated with the Ministry of Travel for bulk rate portkeys. I'm getting a 90% discount for travel between midnight and four AM with a minimum purchase of 20 portkeys. So I'll have the spiders on their way to Brazil in a few hours... I assume Hogwarts will be reimbursing the other 10%. It is a facility maintenance expense, after all."

McGonagall sighed, "I'm too tired to deal with this. We'll talk about it tomorrow."


	19. Recklessness, Pt 2

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 19: Recklessness, pt. 2

* * *

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world and, though Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors, work on the Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities and the temporary hospital in Azkaban tower has been shut down after being compromised by Bellatrix. Many aurors were killed or fatally injured and are in transfiguration-based stasis awaiting treatment.

Moody detected evidence of horcrux possession on Hermione and probably on Sprout. Draco and other students demonstrated unusual behavior and were later found to have been memory charmed. Harry thought of potential countermeasures Voldemort could have used against parseltongue and obliviation and suspects that Voldemort survived, that his plan had been to pretend to lose while preparing a powerful and immortal host for himself who Harry would trust implicitly (and explicitly, given the unbreakable vow). Unfortunately, that same vow prevented Harry from sharing his suspicions, until Moody revealed that he'd been thinking similar things. Thus far, efforts to locate a horcrux at Hogwarts have been unsuccessful.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. And obviously plotting something.

Harry has a relatively long list of things he intends to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, time-turner paradoxes, magic-technology interactions, and rescuing Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem or whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped, so he has focused more strongly on learning arithmancy, which involves putting spells together to achieve novel functions.

* * *

 _If you think hard enough you can do the impossible._

 _(It had always been an article of faith with Harry. There'd been a time when he'd acknowledged the laws of physics as ultimate limitations, and now he suspected there were no true limits at all.)_

 _If you think _fast_ enough you can sometimes do the impossible _quickly_..._

 _...sometimes._

 _Only sometimes._

 _Not always._

 _Not _reliably_._

 _With Professor Flitwick gone, Harry had asked Professor Vector if there was any way to detect damage to the wards around the crystal cases, verify the residue that a real duel should have left behind. Harry had raced through the Hogwarts library looking for spells to tell the difference between old fingerprints and new fingerprints, or to detect lingering exhalations in a room. And all those attempts at playing detective had failed._

 _There were no clues, none that he was smart enough to find._

 _Professor Snape had said that the portkey led to an empty house in London, with no sign of anyone or anything else._

 _Professor Snape hadn't found any notes in Hermione's dorm._

 _Headmaster Dumbledore had said that Voldemort's spirit was probably hiding out in the Chamber of Secrets where the Hogwarts security system couldn't find him. Harry had snuck into the Slytherin dungeons under the Cloak of Invisibility and spent the rest of the afternoon looking through all the obvious places, but he hadn't found anything snaky that answered back when spoken to. The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, it seemed, hadn't been meant to be found in a day._

 _Harry had talked to all of Hermione's friends that would still talk to him, and none of them had remembered Hermione saying anything specific about why she'd believed that Draco was plotting against her._

 _Harry had used up all six hours from his Time-Turner, and there were still no clues, and he had to go to sleep now if he wanted to be functional at Hermione's trial the next day._

 _The Boy-Who-Destroyed-A-Dementor was standing in the middle of the Hogwarts trophy room, his wand dropped at his feet._

 _He was crying._

 _Sometimes you call your brain and it doesn't answer._

 _After awaking, Harry sighed softly, then stunned himself back to sleep._

* * *

Harry stated, "Headmistress, I have a meeting with Arthur Weasley at the Ministry this morning, so I won't be in the castle for a while."

She nodded, "You think he can help you study how muggle artifacts work with magic?"

"Maybe, but I doubt it. I mostly wanted an excuse to see the Ministry of Magic without the Acting Chief Warlock thinking I'm checking up on her or something."

Sometime later, he flooed into the Ministry atrium. Harry had nothing to compare it to, but it looked to him like business as usual was occurring. Some people were standing around talking while others appeared to be in a hurry to go in various directions. A receptionist asked Harry why he was there and then provided directions to the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office. Harry thanked him and walked away.

And then began exploring.

Harry walked through random hallway after random hallway. Harry quickly noted that the layout was more sensible than Hogwarts, the automatically supplied the phrase "damned with faint praise". Occasionally a doorway was labeled with a name he recognized from a newspaper or a conversation, but mostly the building was a large collection of anonymous offices. Harry had decided against walking into the Department of Mysteries without an appointment, but he couldn't resist visiting the Wizengamot chamber, that symbol of current political power and lost magical power, which was likely the reason why the Ministry of Magic was located in a densely populated muggle city. After standing behind the Chief Warlock's podium and looking down at the chamber, Harry paused for a moment, then checked his watch and moved toward the exit, backtracking and navigating the the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office.

Harry knocked on the door of Arthur's office, and was quickly invited in, "Oh, Hello Harry. Sorry about the mess, I had to move everything in here so the DMLE could use my department's other rooms."

"Oh. I didn't notice anything wrong at all with the building, so I kind of assumed they'd already repaired everything."

"No, they just put up illusions in some hallways to hide the damaged areas. It's good enough to fool anyone who doesn't come here often; they don't want to look weak to representatives of foreign governments. Anyway, I've been looking forward to talking with you. I heard some things about how you were using muggle devices in those dueling sessions last year. Can you tell me a little more about that?"

Harry suppressed a sigh and began answering questions.

Sometime later, Arthur added, "It's too bad they made you stop. That's exactly the kind of thinking we need in the Department of Misuse of Muggle Artifacts. I don't suppose you've given any thought to your future career?"

"Actually... I'm not really sure what your department does."

"Yeah, the mission statement is pretty vague, but it's intentional. Originally 'Misuse of Muggle Artifacts' was intended to prevent wizard culture from becoming more like muggle culture. Dumbledore couldn't get rid of the department entirely, so he changed it to be about preventing wizards from making magical objects that muggles might stumble across."

"And you have staff?"

"Not... currently. When I need help with something important, I've been able to get a few aurors on temporary assignment. Assuming the DMLE isn't busy... Anyway, I also heard you have a... radio working at Hogwarts? So muggle studies can listen to actual muggle news reports and such?"

"Yeah, it's just a simple crystal radio. It picks up strong AM broadcasts. Though if a calculator works here, you can probably use a normal AM/FM radio, or even a TV. That will pick up a lot more stations."

Arthur looked at him with blank expression.

Harry clarified, "Just get some muggle money from Gringotts and buy stuff in London."

Arthur nodded, then exclaimed, "Oh, I think you wanted to see my calculator. This thing is a life save when I have to do accounting." Arthur frowned.

Harry leaned forward and saw that the calculator was not functioning. He retrieved his own, with the same result. He was disappointed, but not particularly surprised by this result.

Arthur shrugged, "Sometimes it doesn't work here. I don't know why, but it usually fixes itself within a week or so. Almost always works at home, though, so if you want we can try there."

"Perhaps another time. I do have classes to attend."

* * *

"A new bright star mysteriously appeared? You'd think we'd have read about that in the news", Terry smirked.

Luna explained patiently, "It didn't just appear; it's been there for years. It's just not there during astronomy class. Or whenever I look at the sky above Hogwarts. Maybe there's a ward here to hide it for some reason."

Hermione suggested, "Astronomical objects bright enough to be seen without magic or technology have been pretty well mapped for centuries. Maybe you saw a plane or a satellite? Though I'm not sure why you'd always see them in Gemini"

Terry exclaimed, "That's what I'm saying. A mystery star is crazy."

Ginny looked up, "Who appointed you arbiter of sanity?"

Terry rolled his eyes, "This is the Ravenclaw table. Go eat dinner with the other Gryffindors."

Ginny smirked, "Who put you in charge of assigning seats?"

Hermione shrugged, "Anyway, I have to get back to work on something." She got up and left.

Without turning her head, Luna's expression had changed and it was clear she was no longer following the conversation.

Harry sat down/partially collapsed into a seat nearby and began absently piling food onto a plate.

"Hey Harry?", Harry looked up from the plate. Terry continued, "How would you explain it if someone claimed they saw a really bright star that no one else knows about and isn't always there?"

Harry shrugged and returned to gathering food, "Venus and Jupiter are the brightest objects in the night sky, and I've read that they're frequently misidentified by people who don't pay much attention to the sky. And planets change position relative to the stars; it's actually how they were named. Why?"

Terry smirked at Luna, "No reason."

* * *

A group of Slytherins had Neville surrounded and disarmed. Peregrine Derrick laughed then cast hover charm, "How high do you guys think he'll bounce?"

Across the Great Hall, Harry sighed and rhetorically asked the nearby Ravenclaws, "Do any of you ever think of something you *know* is a bad idea, but it's just so awesome that you have to go through with it anyway?"

Padma frowned, "No. Knowing something is a bad idea is what happens before the decisions you don't make."

Harry nodded, removing his glasses and casting luminos onto both lenses, "Solid point."

Luna smiled, "If I didn't act on bad ideas, I'd never get anything done."

Harry chuckled, "Interesting perspective". He replaced his glasses, tapped them with his wand and muttered a sticking charm.

Anthony shook his head, "There might be a reason for that. What exactly are you planning Harry..."

Harry wasn't paying attention then because he was already in the air. A wave of silence spread out around him.

At the Slytherin table, Lesath gasped, "My lord!", and fell to his knees. Those around him glanced around at each other nervously. More than a few followed Lesath's example.

Fred whispered to George, "Marauder Junior's really got us this time."

George whispered back, "Seriously. We're never going to top this one."

Padma whispered to Anthony, "Invisible broom?"

Anthony whispered back, "That's got to be it."

Derrick's voice carried easily through the quiet hall, "You think you're so great, Longbottom. I wonder, can you fly?"

Harry drifted over and put Neville's arm over his shoulder, preparing to support his weight, "I actually haven't taught him that yet. But trust me, it's on my list." He forced a maniacal laugh.

Derrick released the hover charm and cast a stupify at Harry. It reflected off of his robe and stunned Derrick.

One of the others slowly put his wand away, then raised his hands, "Lord, forgive me, please show mercy." The rest hesitated, then followed suite.

Harry snapped, "Just get out of my sight. And get _that_ out of here." He gestured at Derrick's body.

Harry brought Neville safely to the ground, then canceled the sticking charm and red glow on his glasses, laughing (normally this time).

Ron leveled his wand at Harry, hand visibly shaking, "Drop your wand and surrender."

Harry continued laughing.

Fred and George quickly approached Ron, "Hey, put that down." "What on earth do you think you're doing?"

"He can fly. No one can do that other than Voldemort. Didn't you see his eyes glow red? What else are we supposed to believe?"

Percy stood and casually hurdled the nearby tables, bouncing up from his landing and hanging in the air looking down at Ron. "If that's all it takes, you can address me as Dark Lord Weasley."

Fred and George laughed, allowing themselves to fall to the floor and roll back and forth.

"Too much... Too much..."

"Just imagine... Percy..."

"A dark lord..."

"And Ron... the dark wizard hunter..."

"Imagine if someone made that a play..."

"We should write that... Imagine how many tickets we could sell."

Ron opened his mouth to reply, then paused. He looked around the room at the other students. Some were laughing. Others had their wands out and shields in place. Yet others were on their knees. All were staring at Harry.

McGonagall's voice blasted through the tension, "Everyone go back to your common rooms. Mr. Potter, to my office now."

* * *

McGonagall shook her head sadly, "How are you able to be so smart and yet so dumb?".

Harry sighed, "After failing to get the hospital running for so long, after... everything... I just really needed a win somewhere. Permanently ending the bullying at this school seemed like a good thing to try. I know it wasn't the most well-reasoned idea, but all I really did was hover around a bit with my glasses glowing red; how bad could it possibly turn out?"

McGonagall shook her head, "I know you've been putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Go back to your room and try to get a full night's sleep. I'm sure you'll feel better in the morning."

Harry nodded and walked to the door, whispering to himself, "Yeah, I'm sure _that_ will happen."

And of course, it didn't.

* * *

A young Hufflepuff whose name he couldn't remember smiled brightly, "Thank you so much for walking us back to the common room, Cedric. We wouldn't have wanted to lose points getting caught out past curfew on our own."

Cedric shrugged, "It's no problem. And I'm sure no one would have a problem with the group of you being out a few minutes late. And you were coming straight from the library. Studying magic is pretty much the point of this school."

Another shuddered, "Not to mention the _other_ people who might be out here at night."

Cedric nodded, "Yeah, that can be a problem. It's good to keep safety in numbers."

"Did you hear that?"

"No? What was it?"

"I... I'm not sure. Maybe someone breathing?"

"Only if it was really loudly and slowly."

Cedric held a finger to his lips, and listened while the group stopped talking. After a moment, he concluded, "I don't hear- Okay, I heard that."

"It sounds like there's someone nearby."

"It didn't sound like footsteps."

"No, it was more like shuffling or dragging."

"Over there! ...I saw something move down that hallway."

"Something like what?"

"I don't know, just a dark shape. But it was pretty short, not like a person or anything."

"Is someone over there?", Cedric called out.

There was no response.

"Fair warning: if you attack us, I will have to hurt you", he added.

There was no response.

"How could anything bad happen to us with Cedric around?", someone asked, attempting a casual smile.

Cedric smiled back, stoically trying to hide his nervousness.

Cedric released a breath, "Stay here. I'll check it out." He cast a light from the end of his wand and strode forward...


	20. Investigation

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 20: Investigation

* * *

Here's how it is:

During his second year at Hogwarts, Harry is still concerned about the fate of the world and, though Hermione has obtained a phoenix and destroyed Azkaban's dementors, work on the Philosopher's Stone based hospital at Hogwarts has stalled due to ward incompatibilities and the temporary hospital in Azkaban tower has been shut down after being compromised by Bellatrix. Many aurors were killed or fatally injured and are in transfiguration-based stasis awaiting treatment.

Moody detected evidence of horcrux possession on Hermione and probably on Sprout. Draco and other students demonstrated unusual behavior and were later found to have been memory charmed. Harry thought of potential countermeasures Voldemort could have used against parseltongue and obliviation and suspects that Voldemort survived, that his plan had been to pretend to lose while preparing a powerful and immortal host for himself who Harry would trust implicitly (and explicitly, given the unbreakable vow). Unfortunately, that same vow prevented Harry from sharing his suspicions, until Moody revealed that he'd been thinking similar things. Thus far, efforts to locate a horcrux at Hogwarts have been unsuccessful.

Luna demonstrates uncanny knowledge even though she's obviously not a real seer. Moody has hypothesized that Defense professor Gilderoy Lockhart is incompetent and relying on liquid luck for his accomplishments. And obviously plotting something.

Harry has a relatively long list of things he intends to investigate, including big picture items like Merlin's Interdict, prophecy, time-turner paradoxes, magic-technology interactions, and rescuing Dumbledore, as well as smaller scale things like looking into Ravenclaw's Diadem or whether the potion liquid luck is a real thing or a cover story. Magical interferences with technology are proving more difficult to pin down than he had hoped, so he has focused more strongly on learning arithmancy, which involves putting spells together to achieve novel functions.

Public opinion is divided on Harry's recent use of Voldemort role-play to frighten students, and a group of Hufflepuffs are out after curfew...

* * *

 _"You all looked at the right person for entirely the wrong reasons. After I heard rumors of one Ravenclaw facing down five older Slytherins, I came to the conclusion that Harry Potter would be my most dangerous student. You're thinking that I've come up with a wrong answer, aren't you, Mr. Potter? You will learn to expect better of me. Mr. Potter, all things have their accustomed uses. Give me ten unaccustomed uses of objects in this room for combat!"_

 _For a moment Harry was rendered speechless by the sheer, raw shock of having been understood._

 _And then the ideas started to pour out._

 _"There are desks which are heavy enough to be fatal if dropped from a great height. There are chairs with metal legs that could impale someone if driven hard enough. The air in this classroom would be deadly by its absence, since people die in vacuum, and it can serve as a carrier for poison gases. The floor can be removed to create a spike pit to fall into, the ceiling can be collapsed on someone, the walls can serve as raw material for Transfiguration into any number of deadly things - knives, say."_

 _"That's six. But surely you're scraping the bottom of the barrel now?"_

 _"I haven't even started! Just look at all the people! Having a Gryffindor attack the enemy is an ordinary use, of course but their blood can also be used to drown someone. Ravenclaws are known for their brains, but their internal organs could be sold on the black market for enough money to hire an assassin. Slytherins aren't just useful as assassins, they can also be thrown at sufficient velocity to crush an enemy. And Hufflepuffs, in addition to being hard workers, also contain bones that can be removed, sharpened, and used to stab someone."_

 _By now the rest of the class was staring at Harry in some horror. Even the Slytherins looked shocked._

 _"That's ten, though I'm being generous in counting the Ravenclaw one. Now, for extra credit, one Quirrell point for each use of objects in this room which you have not yet named." Professor Quirrell favored Harry with a companionable smile. "The rest of your class thinks you are in trouble now, since you've named everything except the targets and you have no idea what may be done with those."_

 _"Bah! I've named all the people, but not my robes, which can be used to suffocate an enemy if wrapped around their head enough times, or Hermione Granger's robes, which can be torn into strips and tied into a rope and used to hang someone, or Draco Malfoy's robes, which can be used to start a fire. My wand can be pushed into an enemy's brain through their eye socket" and someone made a horrified, strangling sound. "My wristwatch could suffocate someone if jammed down their throat -"_

 _"Five points, and enough."_

 _"Hmph," Harry said. "Ten Quirrell points to one House point, right? You should have let me keep going until I'd won the House Cup, I haven't even started yet on the unaccustomed uses of everything I've got in my pockets" or the mokeskin pouch itself and he couldn't talk about the Time-Turner or the invisibility cloak but there had to be something he could say about those red spheres..._

 _"Enough, Mr. Potter. Well, do you all think you understand what makes Mr. Potter the most dangerous student in the classroom? Say it out loud, please. Terry Boot, what makes your dorm-mate dangerous?"_

 _"Ah... um... he's creative?"_

 _"Wrong! " bellowed Professor Quirrell, and his fist came down sharply on his desk with an amplified sound that made everyone jump. "All of Mr. Potter's ideas were worse than useless!"_

 _Harry started in surprise._

 _"Remove the floor to create a spike trap? Ridiculous! In combat you do not have that sort of preparation time and if you did there would be a hundred better uses! Transfigure material from the walls? Mr. Potter cannot perform Transfiguration! Mr. Potter had exactly one idea which he could use immediately, right now, without extensive preparation or a cooperative enemy or magic he does not know. That idea was to jam his wand through his enemy's eye socket. Which would be more likely to break his wand than kill his opponent! In short, Mr. Potter, I'm afraid that your proposals were uniformly awful."_

 _"What?" Harry said indignantly. "You asked for unusual ideas, not practical ones! I was thinking outside the box! How would you use something in this classroom to kill someone?"_

 _Professor Quirrell's expression was disapproving, but there were smile crinkles around his eyes. "Mr. Potter, I never said you were to kill. There is a time and a place for taking your enemy alive, and inside a Hogwarts classroom is usually one of those places. But to answer your question, hit them on the neck with the edge of a chair."_

 _There was some laughter from the Slytherins, but they were laughing with Harry, not at him._

 _Everyone else was looking rather horrified._

 _"But Mr. Potter has now demonstrated why he is the most dangerous student in the classroom. I asked for unaccustomed uses of items in this room for combat. Mr. Potter could have suggested using a desk to block a curse, or using a chair to trip an oncoming enemy, or wrapping cloth around his arm to create an improvised shield. Instead, every single use that Mr. Potter named was offensive rather than defensive, and either fatal or potentially fatal."_

 _What? Wait, that couldn't be true... Harry had a sudden sense of vertigo as he tried to remember what exactly he'd suggested, surely there had to be a counterexample..._

 _"And that," Professor Quirrell said, "is why Mr. Potter's ideas were so strange and useless - because he had to reach far into the impractical in order to meet his standard of killing the enemy. To him, any idea which fell short of that was not worth considering. This reflects a quality that we might call intent to kill. I have it. Harry Potter has it, which is how he could stare down five older Slytherins. Draco Malfoy does not have it, not yet. Mr. Malfoy would hardly shrink from talk of ordinary murder, but even he was shocked - yes you were Mr. Malfoy, I was watching your face - when Mr. Potter described how to use his classmates' bodies as raw material. There are censors inside your mind which make you flinch away from thoughts like that. Mr. Potter thinks purely of killing the enemy, he will grasp at any means to do so, he does not flinch, his censors are off. Even though his youthful genius is so undisciplined and impractical as to be useless, his intent to kill makes Harry Potter the Most Dangerous Student in the Classroom. One final point to him - no, let us make that a point to Ravenclaw - for this indispensable requisite of a true fighting wizard."_

"Mr. Potter..."

Harry opened his eyes and saw a glowing white cat floating above him.

"... I'm in the second floor corridor nearest the Hufflepuff common room, about halfway to the History of Magic classroom. There's something here you should see."

Harry glanced at his watch: 2:30AM. That couldn't be a good sign.

Harry quickly got dressed and headed out. The walk gave him ample time to relive the dream. He could only conclude that despite Voldemort and Bellatrix on the loose, his subconscious had found the time to obsess about his own potential as a threat. That couldn't be a good sign.

* * *

Some time earlier...

"Minerva! Headmistress McGonagall! Please wake up, it's an emergency! Come to the Hufflepuff common room as soon as possible."

She opened her eyes in time to see Sprout's patronus fade away.

A few minutes later, as she neared the room, Sprout called out "This way", and started climbing a staircase. McGonagall rushed to catch up.

"Six of my students are missing", Sprout announced. "As soon as I was informed, I asked the prefects to help me start a search. We haven't found them, but you need to see this."

Written on the wall in large red letters was the message: _"The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the heir, beware."_

* * *

Even earlier...

Cedric cast a light from the end of his wand but kept it horizontal, ready to cast a curse if necessary, as he strode forward.

The other students held their breath and tried not to make a sound.

Cedric stopped. The door to the classroom on his left was wide open. He listened for a few seconds, then took a step into the room, quickly taking a dueling stance and sweeping his wand around the room.

He promptly collapsed backwards into the hallway, his eyes open but unfocused.

Most of the others screamed as they felt the magical explosion. Someone ran forward and called out, "He's not breathing!"

Some began to retreat, while others froze in place.

They heard something moving inside the room and instantly fell silent and raised their wands.

* * *

McGonagall sighed, "Keep searching for the students. I'll call Filius to help me find out what caused this."

Sprout asked, "I know Albus is officially missing, but I don't suppose there's any chance you could get him an emergency message?"

"I suppose there's some possibility he set up a spell to bring him to Hogwarts when he's truly needed, but if there is such a spell or a way that I could trigger it, I don't know of it."

McGonagall then sent her patronus to summon Flitwick, Lockhart, and Harry, and Moody.

Flitwick arrived first, and McGonagall told him about the missing students and message. He began using his wand to scan the text and surrounding area.

Harry overheard part of the explanation while walking down the hall and immediately activated his time-turner.

Moody announced, "I can't believe you called Lockhart before me."

McGonagall turned to see Moody and Harry step around a corner, "He is a professor at this school. And may have something useful to contribute."

"Luckily, Harry called me six hours ago. So I've had twelve hours to investigate."

"Time turners don't work like that."

"I kept going back to the moment after Harry called me and searching in different directions. But it was apparently too late. Both the basilisk and its master were already gone."

"What?"

Harry interrupted, "Let's start at the beginning." He sighed, "They were all dead when I arrived. I don't know for how long, but they were still warm-ish. I called Moody, then six of his time-turned selves appeared and examined the bodies. Then all of the Moodys searched while I cooled the bodies and worked on transfiguring them. I don't know whether they can be revived or how much brain damage they'll have if I do, but I have to try.

"The first Moody arrived maybe ten minutes later and I explained the situation. He scanned the message on the wall, helped me transfigure the rest of the bodies, then time turned back. We've been in the library since then."

Moody explained, "They had no visible injuries. It looked like they'd been hit by killing curses. But you and I have tested the wards that tell you when unforgivables and memory charms are cast. We couldn't test the wards for death or serious injury, and apparently you're not getting those notifications, so we'll have to work on that later. Anyway, we researched other spells that could mimic the effect of a killing curse but would be less likely to be detected."

Harry added, "A basilisk is most likely. I think their eyes emit something like an extremely low powered killing curse in all directions, which can be blocked by essentially anything opaque. So it only kills with a direct hit to someone's central nervous system which, in practice means that someone has to look at its eyes such that the curse hits their retina-"

Moody interrupted, "However it works, looking at basilisk eyes kills, and looks enough like a killing curse."

Harry continued, "Also, it fits with the Heir of Slytherin message because the parselmouth connection. We should probably check Slytherin's Chamber of Secrets."

They both stared at him, Moody asked, "You know where it is?", while McGonagall exclaimed, "Mr. Potter! You promised you'd report that if you found it!"

"It kind of slipped my mind with everything else that happened that night... there was an entrance in the dungeons, but I don't remember where. There's another entrance via a tunnel that opens in the graveyard near Hogsmead. That should be easy enough to find..."

* * *

A few hours later, they emerged from the tunnels into a closet in an unused fifth floor classroom.

"That place is a complete maze. We'll never be able to find anything down there."

Harry shrugged, "I'll try to find an optimal maze navigation algorithm and we can try again. Or maybe someone can find a way to modify the map to plot the tunnels; I believe that's what Voldemort was using it for."

Moody warded the entrance so McGonagall would be notified if anyone approached it, and they returned to area near the Hufflepuff room.

On the way, Lockhart intercepted them, smiling brightly.

McGonagall called angrily, "Professor Lockhart, where have you been? We had a situation and couldn't reach you."

"I was out of the castle. It took some time for me to get back."

Moody stared Lockhart down and demanded, "Where exactly have you been for the past 8 hours?"

"Brazil."

McGonagall queried, "The Acromantulas?"

"We could say that I didn't have enough time to transport them all the other day."

Moody continued, "Anyone who can verify?"

"I had the portkeys made a few days ago, and no one was with me when I made the trips, though I suppose there were a few ladies at the bar who'd remember me."

"Names?"

"I didn't exactly take attendance."

"Name of the bar?"

"I could possibly find it again..."

Moody grinned dangerously, "So you have no alibi."

"My contract doesn't say anything about being in Hogwarts castle at night or having my movements restricted in any way. It says I must be present for my classes, offices hours, and any extra-curricular activities I sponsor. And anyway, I was doing my best to avoid the defense position curse."

"Oh?"

"I've read up on what's happened to previous professors. Many times their contracts were not renewed due to incompetence, sometimes resulting in their own injury or injured students. Of course I don't have anything to worry about there." He smiled at Moody, who scowled back. "And I don't think I have to tell you about the scandals many of the others get into. Therefore, I've precommitted to spending as much time as possible outside the castle. Can't get into trouble here if I'm there, can I?" He stumbled, caught himself, and attempted to lean against the wall in a casual-looking pose.

McGonagall frowned, "Are you drunk?"

"Well, I didn't think it was a good idea to apparate on the way here if that's what you mean." He made a quick exit, which was, of course, totally dignified and not influenced at all by the angry look McGonagall was giving him.

Harry found himself confused. He'd ignored most of the conversation, having found the topic boring, but something about what Lockhart had said felt significant. He'd need to keep thinking about it. But dealing with this year's defense professor wasn't particularly high on his priority list. Hopefully Headmistress McGonagall could handle it.

* * *

Lockhart shook his head as he walked back to his room, thinking about how that conversation could have gone better. He stopped when he noticed a student whose name he couldn't recall waiting outside his room. "It's after curfew. You should be in your house's common area or room or something."

"I needed to talk to you. I... recently acquired this artifact that I believe may be valuable and historic. Do you have a way to find out if it's real?"

Lockhart continued walking forward, "Oh. That is interesting. Let me see that..."

* * *

Moody practically spat, "How can you let that man work here?"

McGonagall shrugged, "He may be a poor role model, but we need defense professors, and he was the only competent candidate who applied for this year." She glanced at Harry, "and at least he wasn't the one pretending to be Voldemort at dinner."

Moody turned to Harry and narrowed his eyes, "I swear you've gotten stupider since last year. I'm almost not even surprised after you picked a pointless fight with Lockhart and hid your suspicions about Hermione."

McGonagall looked confused, "What about Hermione?"

Moody grunted, "That she's possessed by Voldie." McGonagall gasped. Moody turned back to Harry, "Actually, it bothers me less that you tried to hide information that you considered sensitive than that you thought I wouldn't figure that out for myself. It's like you don't even know me." He turned back to McGonagall, "Yeah, that's why we haven't been inviting her to our meetings like we were earlier this year."

McGonagall frowned, "I had been wondering about that. But... really?"

Harry frowned and responded to Moody, "It's more likely that you only notice whether people exceed or fall short of your expectations and that your expectations for me have significantly increased since last year. If your expectations are tuned accurately, I should surprise you in positive and negative ways about equally often."

Moody looked at Harry thoughtfully for a moment, "Well, you're right about one thing: my expectations for first year students can only increase." He leveled his wand at Harry, "anyway... finite incantatem... polyfluis reverso... nullus confundio." He continued casting, checking for horcrux possession and other things Harry didn't recognize.

Harry rolled his eyes, "I'm me and I'm not under any spells. I think I would've known. And I don't feel any different now."

"No, you wouldn't know. You'd probably be the last to notice. And now I suspect you don't even have a plan for what to do next."

Harry sighed, "I'll have to think about it."

* * *

Harry sat in his office, thinking. He was reasonably certain Moody was wrong, but decided it would still be prudent to check his office for anything suspicious.

He emptied the contents of his pouch onto the desk. He lifted his wand and cast a confundus detection charm at one of his textbooks. Negative result. He moved on to another and continued.

A moment later he stopped and stepped back, looking around at the shelves and back at the pile of objects on the desk. "This is going to take forever. I need a faster way to do this."

* * *

"Come in, Harry", Flitwick called.

"Hello, professor. I'm trying to charm something to detect confundus charms, to turn red if it touches something charmed with a confundus and green if it touches something without a confundus."

Flitwick frowned, "That's a relatively straightforward application of arithmancy. I'm surprised you're having an issue."

Harry sighed and handed him a thin wooden rod, resembling a two-foot long wand, "That seems to be a popular opinion recently."

"What?"

"Never mind."

Flitwick inspected the wand with his own, "The charms on this will do exactly what you described."

Harry nodded and opened his pouch, placing his arithmancy textbook, a can of comed-tea, a notebook, and the dueling target on a desk. "Then try it on these things and compare the results with your own detection charm."

Flitwick briefly frowned, then stepped forward. "There's a confundus on the comed-tea, as we already knew. Have you been playing with that again? The other objects are clean." He then touched the objects with the detection-wand. "Green, red, green, and... red? Oh. That's odd."

"Yeah. That's the result I've been getting. Do you have any idea what could do that?"

Flitwick silently cast a series of analytic charms at the dueling target, then at the detection-wand. "Has anything else produced that result?"

"No, it hasn't turned red for anything but the comed-tea and dueling target."

"Well, this is exciting! No one's found a problem with the standard analytic charms in centuries. We should figure out exactly what triggers the false result with the analytic charm on a stick. Lots of people will be interested to know about it. Especially if we can find a case where it also affects the charm when cast directly."

"I have another hypothesis. Can you put the other confundus analysis charms on that rod? To show what a confundus is doing?"

"It's more complicated than that..."

"Can you check whether there's a confundus that does one specific thing?"

"Yes. What are you thinking?"

"Check if there's a confundus that causes people who cast a confundus detection charm to think the result was negative."

Flitwick stared at Harry for a moment, "That's an interesting idea." He silently cast spells at the detection-wand for a moment, then touched the dueling target. The rod turned purple. Flitwick looked up at Harry, surprised, "You were right!"

Harry nodded, "I'm going to call Headmistress McGonagall. She needs to see this."

"It's an interesting use of arithmancy, but I don't know that it's worth her time..."

"Trust me, she'll want to see this. I'll have her meet us in the defense classroom." He walked out, briefly turning back to make sure Flitwick was following.

* * *

A short time later, Harry and Flitwick met McGonagall and Moody in the defense classroom.

Moody noted, "It looks like Lockhart's already left for the day."

McGonagall asked, "What is it Professor Flitwick, Mr. Potter?"

Flitwick looked over to Harry. Harry began, "This dueling target has a confundus charm on it-"

Moody quickly cast an analytic charm and interrupted, "No, it doesn't."

"One effect of the charm is to fool people who cast analytic charms at it into thinking there's no confundus."

Moody nodded slowly.

McGonagall said, "That's... disturbing. Anything could be charmed and no one would ever know."

Flitwick elaborated, "You can find them if you charm an object to do the detection for you."

Moody looked around, then turned back toward Harry, "A nearly undetectable curse on a dueling target. So this it then?"

Harry nodded, "I'm pretty sure. I suspect the other targets are the same, but we should check. They're held in the ceiling somehow."

Flitwick gestured his wand at the ceiling, opening it. He cast a series of spells at a roll of parchment. The parchment exploded into shreds which flew out in all directions, collided with every object in the room, then reflected back and formed a scale model of the room, mostly green, but with red spheres at the ceiling. "All of the dueling targets, and only the dueling targets", Flitwick concluded.

Harry commented, "I'm going to need the details on how you did that. Some of those spells should help with another project-"

McGonagall interrupted, "What exactly does this mean?"

Moody turned to McGonagall, "Where did those targets come from?"

"I... don't recall. They still have internal magic, so they can't be more than a few years old."

Harry shook his head, "My previous research hinted that they may be able to absorb magic from Hogwarts."

Moody chuckled softly, "This is definitely it."

McGonagall repeated, "What do you mean?"

Moody smirked, "no matter how you change classrooms or revise syllibi or rename classes, someone's going to teach dueling or defense skills in some form. And that person's classroom is stocked with dueling targets. Apparently not regular dueling targets, but mysterious confundus-charmed dueling targets that no one remembers ordering. And let me guess, Harry- you've been carrying one of them around all year- for some kind of research?"

Harry looked down and nodded.

Moody chuckled again, "Well, I'm taking credit for ending the Hogwarts defense curse."

McGonagall and Flitwick exchanged a surprised glance. Harry just nodded again.

Moody elaborated, "I cast a confundus breaking charm on Harry and a few hours later he's discovered a decades-old confundus curse that Dumbledore couldn't solve. I'm taking credit."

Harry sighed, "Yeah, all things considered, I really should have seen this coming earlier. The way the defense curse reliably results in the dismissal of every professor within the year has similarities to the way comed-tea reliably results in-"

McGonagall interrupted, "So how do we break the curse? Is there a way to remove the protective confundus to see what else it's doing?"

Moody replied, "I'd guess it's lowering people's inhibitions until they do dumb things. That would explain why your defense professors end their careers in diverse ways that were consistent enough with their personalities that no one was ever totally sure the curse existed. And I don't think we should break it until after we get Voldemort out or he might cast something harder to detect. And I don't think we should tell Lockhart, or anyone else about it."

McGonagall scowled, "I know you don't like Lockhart, but you're asking me to allow a teacher to get hurt. Or worse, hurt students."

"We can regularly cast nullio cunfundus at him. He'll be fine. And your students are exactly as safe as they were the last time I told you to fire Lockhart; nothing has changed. Anyway, in the mean time, we should check you office and Harry's office for anything else like this."

Sometime later, two additional confunded objects were discovered, in the Headmistress' office. One was apparently a section of the wall that was difficult to look at directly but otherwise seemed unremarkable.

Moody closed his human eye, pointed his wand in the appropriate direction and cast nullio confundus about twenty times at slightly different points. He announced, "I got it!" He then canceled a disillusionment spell and a small piece of parchment became visible, still stuck to the wall. He walked over and cast a series of analytic charms, then set it on fire. After it burned completely and he had vanished the ashes, he informed the others, "It was an espionage device. Transmits images and sound somewhere else. It was a good one too, no way to trace who was watching, as if we didn't already know. Apparently he had to use different way to spy on us after we stopped inviting the girl to meetings."

The other confunded object was a small fiddly thing with golden wibblers.

Moody frowned, "Do you remember where that came from?"

"Albus made it."

Harry laughed softly. When the others looked at him, he quickly explained, "First, it amuses me that Dumbledore had known about this effect, but used it as a prank and apparently never considered weaponizing it. And second, confunding an object to influence your opponents into defeating themselves is certainly an unusual use of an object in combat. It's certainly something I didn't know could be done with a dueling target last year."

Moody stared at Harry for a moment, "Do you have a workable plan to get Voldie yet?"

"I have... most of a plan. I think we should execute after dinner. I think we'll need lots of aurors and at least one person who still has 6 hours on their time turner for today. And Bones should probably be here too; I'm sure she wants to know what's going on. Let's meet back here at 11 to discuss details, right now I'm starving."

* * *

As Hermione walked down the hallway to the Great Hall for breakfast, someone called her name. She turned to see Ginny approaching.

"Hermione, I could really use your help with something if you have a minute..."

Hermione paused for a beat, then put on a friendly smile and replied, "Sure Ginny, what do you need?"


	21. Hunting Dark Lords

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 21: Hunting Dark Lords

* * *

Harry was slowly picking at the remains of his breakfast when Merry Tavington handed him an envelope and quickly walked away. He absentmindedly opened it and began reading, "Potter, meet me at 8:30 in previous meeting location. DM". Harry sighed.

"Good morning, Harry." Hermione sat down next to him.

"Morning", Harry replied.

"Harry, do you know anything about the rumors going around?"

"Rumors?"

"About missing Hufflepuffs? About the Chamber of Secrets?"

"That sounds bad. What are people saying?"

"People say lots of things. I was hoping you knew something more solid. You are the heir of Slytherin, after all. Don't you know something about the Chamber?"

Harry frowned, "I don't know anything about the Chamber that you don't already know."

Hermione's eyes narrowed, "Why aren't you more curious? Salazar left a room for his descendants. There must be something really important there."

Harry stared at her for a moment, then replied, "Well, there aren't many things that last for centuries. Odds are there's nothing of value left down there."

Hermione shrugged, "So what are you working on today?"

"Oh, just the usual."

"You think you could make that a little more vague?"

"Secret meeting, class, homework, secret meeting, lunch, class, secret project, class, dinner, secret project. You know, the usual."

"Whatever." She got up and walked away.

After a few minutes, Harry got up and went to his secret meeting with Draco.

* * *

"Potter."

"Malfoy. I guess you're talking to me again."

"This is important, Potter. Are you sure you weren't followed?"

Harry closed the door, and cast 15 privacy spells, "It's as secure as I can make it in the castle without asking someone else for help."

"I guess that will have to be good enough... I shouldn't have to tell you this, but there's something wrong with Hermione."

"What have you noticed?"

Draco groaned, "Have you seriously noticed nothing? What have you been doing?"

"I have my suspicions, but your observations might provide critical information."

"She's been pretty inconspicuous all year (which is odd by itself but not my problem), then first thing this morning, she tries to interrogate me about father's death. It was almost like a Weasley prank, except even more classless than their usual. And I heard she was asking the Hufflepuffs questions about missing students."

"So you first noticed her acting unusual today?"

"You heard what I said. Now stop pretending you don't know anything."

Harry sighed, "She was asking me about the Chamber of Secrets this morning. But I don't know what she's trying to do."

"That's... not a bad question. You are the Heir of Slytherin. What do you know about the Chamber?"

"Draco-"

"And we've never had a chance to talk about last year. We both know the story you told everyone at the quidditch stadium wasn't the whole truth. What do you really know about that?" After a pause, Draco added, "And that implies that you know something about the missing students, because this is all clearly connected somehow."

"Draco... I'm pretty sure there's nothing I can say now that you'll believe, so I'm just going to go."

* * *

Harry quietly said, "I should have thought of this earlier, but the map will show... whoever... is possessed by Voldemort as 'Tom Riddle'. We can use it to track him and confirm who his host is."

McGonagall wordlessly retrieved the map and opened it on the table.

Moody questioned, "Are you sure he can't fool it?"

Harry shrugged, "I can't be sure, but it's not confunded and it can see through polyjuice potion, disillusionment, and even my invisibility cloak."

Bones replied, "This is... good. We can use the map and find him right now. But what then? I assume he'll jump bodies as soon as he knows we know, and then we'll have to start over. And then what?"

Moody nodded, "I have some good aurors on stand-by. We'll have to take him down quickly. But it's Voldemort so we'll have to be prepared for everything."

Harry continued, "The core of my plan is for someone to time-turn back with information on Voldemort's location when he's alone. So we can guarantee that the aurors will be there in time (possibly even before Voldemort arrives) and that no students will be around. The details will be more complicated; for one, we have to assume Voldemort has a time-turner. So we'll need anti-time wards in place in addition to anti-apparition, anti-portkey wards and something to detect disillusioned or polyjuiced people or animagi, etc."

McGonagall replied, "With Mr. Lupin's help, the warding specialists are reportedly making progress, but I don't believe they can do something as complicated as anti-time warding yet."

Harry sighed, "Okay, we can fake that: in addition to information on Voldemort's location, someone brings some innocuous information from six hours ahead and announces it in the Great Hall at dinner, so no one in the room will be able to time turn for an hour. We'll need a location for Voldemort during that hour, but you can order an early curfew to get the students out of the way and send aurors straight to him."

McGonagall groaned softly, "I don't like plans involving time-turners. What if we get information about when and where 'Tom Riddle' is alone, gather at that place and time, and find that we only went there because you were there... because we got a message that you were there... I hate time-turners."

Moody scoffed, "That's easy enough. Harry, you're not hunting Voldemort. Either stay in a a crowded place or inform us of where you're going. And we won't plan a raid on your office or one of your classrooms."

Bones suggested, "If Trelawney makes the announcements, he probably won't dare not listen and it won't be as suspicious if the message doesn't make sense. But how many aurors are required for their combined power to match Voldemort? We're not talking about arresting a dangerous wizard so much as waging a small war."

Harry groaned and lowered his head into his hands mumbling, "It's not about power, it's about efficiency."

Moody stared at Harry, "I heard him say something like that once. We thought it was just a taunt. But you know what it means."

Harry answered slowly, "There's... Voldemort clearly knows some Interdicted spells that have been lost to everyone else. But there's a pattern in the way he fights... I've... heard about multiple instances where someone cast a spell at him- standard things that most wizards could shield against- but he'd neutralize them... somehow... that definitely didn't use a shield."

Harry paused for few seconds then continued, "I think Voldemort can absorb magic from spells, similar to the way his dueling targets can absorb magic. It doesn't matter if one person casts a stunner at him or if 40 people cast stunners at him, the spells will fizzle out in mid-air. I believe he can drain shields the same way... He might even be able to directly drain people's magical reserves until they pass out for a moment."

Moody nodded, "Something like that wouldn't work on unforgiveables. Or other dark magic."

Bones added, "I doubt you could imperius him. How many killing curses could you cast at him?"

Moody replied, "I think I could kill him at least a few times for friends of mine he's killed. But I can't imagine how he casts so many killing curses at total strangers."

Harry suggested, "I think we need a dementor; that's one of the only things Voldemort won't be able to deal with, so he'll have to abandon his host. We get info from the future about where he is and who he's possessing. Moody and other aurors cast killing curses (they can use the map to determine safe directions so no one else is hit) at Voldemort to back him into a corner. Some muggle explosives might also help. I can mask the dementor with a patronus so he can't sense it and then release it when he's cornered with it."

Moody glanced at Harry, "You aren't going to be there. We have other people who can cast a patronus."

Harry countered, "But with those, people can still sense the dementor. I think it has to be me."

Everyone else responded in the negative.

"Fine. But it is not acceptable to kill Voldemort's host. He's going to survive either way."

The meeting concluded shortly afterwards. As soon as Harry was out of the room, Bones stopped everyone and announced, "I'm authorizing lethal force. Do whatever you need to do, Mad-Eye."

* * *

"...as a result, a new curfew is in effect: until further notice, all students will return directly to their common rooms after dinner and remain there until morning. Professors will accompany students to verify that everyone is accounted for." McGonagall finished as the plates disappeared from the tables.

Trelawney's magically amplified voice boomed through the hall, "The location of importance will be 4-K-19 and the roll will be 3."

There was silence for a moment before the hall filled with whispers and the students hesitantly moved toward the exit.

* * *

"Yes, we just got the anti-polyjuice and anti-disillusionment wards in place a few hours ago", Lupin reported.

Moody nodded and turned to Lyall.

"He's going to pass through this hallway in 52 minutes", Lyall pointed at a room on the map. "I know it's cutting it close, but he's going to spend most of the next hour in this area where he will be relatively close to students straggling on their way to their dorms. How much other information do you want?"

Moody considered for a second, "Nothing until I specifically ask. We're already breaking normal protocol by deploying before you collected your intelligence. We're setting ourselves up for nasty time-turner side effects if we know too much. Wait, does anyone else other than my team walk through that hallway while my team is there?"

"Yes, Professor Lockhart enters the area a-"

"That's enough. Okay, no one kill Lockhart. Unless he gives you a good reason. Or a half-decent reason... So let's get the dementor in place back here, put the C4 here and here, the sniper nest here, and everyone else in here. Remember, I want the C4 hidden behind the statues, not magically concealed and, Lupin, I want fidelius charms around the sniper, the other aurors, and around the dementor."

"I can't set up three fidelius charms in an hour. Pick one."

Moody sighed, "Fine. You need a rectangle, right? Can you put two of the ward anchors in this room, one down the hallway here, and one in this room?"

"That should be fine."

"Okay, the sniper nest will be just inside of the hallway ward anchor and that will also cover most of these two rooms. Aurors will hide in this one, and the dementor team in the other. To summarize one final time, when Voldie's host crosses this line, trigger the C4. I want you twelve at this doorway, three prone, three kneeling behind them, three standing behind them, and three for backup. Your goal is to keep Voldie on the defensive after he ducks into the opposing room for cover from the blast. If you're not in the right state of mind to cast a killing curse, get out of the way so someone else can take your place. Unless the shooting has already started- in that case, switch to the cruciatus. Once he's pinned down, you three release your patroni and order the dementor in there. I'll follow up with fiendfyre. If Voldie turns back or goes anywhere besides this room, I want a headshot. And then empty the magazine. If you here a shot, release the dementor immediately. And this wall will be charmed so you can target killing curses through it if necessary. Any questions about what we're going to do?... Then what are you all waiting for? Move, move, move!"

* * *

The crowd of students had thinned out somewhat as they approached Ravenclaw Tower, as students from other houses had followed other paths back to their own common rooms. But the whole crowd still came to an instant stop when the students in front suddenly stopped walking.

While the other students were attempting to figure out what was going through a loud variant of the telephone game, Harry levitated above their heads and flew forward.

He stopped just as suddenly as the others had. Written in large red letters, possibly blood: " _Their skeletons will lie in the Chamber forever_ ".

Harry sped back over the crowd, headed for the fifth floor entrance they had found that morning.

A voice cut through the din, "Harry..."

"Sorry, Luna. I'm pretty busy at the moment."

"You're looking for something? Or someone?"

Harry stopped. "Yes. There's supposed to be a secret room in the castle-"

"You mean the Chamber of Secrets? That's where Ginny took Hermione."

"What?"

"Ginny took Hermione to the Chamber of Secrets."

"Where?"

"An entrance on the first floor girls bathroom, check the sink. Then straight down the hallway, first opening on the left."

"Thanks Luna, I owe you."

* * *

Time had slowed to a crawl.

"All units report", Moody whispered into his mirror for about the fifth time.

"Front line ready."

"Dementor team ready."

"Sniper nest ready... wait, I've got movement... It's Lockhart, approaching from downrange."

Moody growled, "All teams stand by." He leaned out the door and used a hover charm to pull Lockhart down the hallway and into the room.

After recovering his balance, Lockhart asked, "What's all this then?"

"Shut up, stand over there, don't move, and most importantly, shut up."

"You know I could help with whatev-"

"What did I just say?"

Lockhart stepped back and made a series of hand gestures indicating acceptance.

"All units report", Moody whispered.

"Front line ready."

"Dementor team ready."

"Sniper nest ready."

A few minutes passed.

"I've got movement... one suspect, cloaked and hooded."

Everyone tensed, preparing for battle.

"About ten seconds at current speed."

...

"C4 in three seconds... two... one..."

They had all applied silencing charms in preparation, but the sound that got through was still impressive. The figure managed to get a partial shield behind itself soon enough to survive the shrapnel and ducked into the room to its left.

The hallway between the rooms lit up with flashes of green light for a second before the figure cast a blindingly bright ball of white light. The aurors continued firing curses blindly into the room. The light dimmed significantly as the dementor glided forward, and went out entirely as the dementor entered the room and closed in on its prey.

"Expecto patronum", he said weakly. No patronus appeared and the dementor put its skeletal hands on his shoulders and pulled itself within inches of the man's face.

"Did Voldemort just try to cast a patronus?", someone asked.

"IT'S LOCKHART!", yelled Bahry, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" His patronus pushed the dementor back.

Moody started to spin around when-

"Avada kedavra."

Moody dove to his left, spun in midair, and brought up his wand, "Avada-"

Lockhart (#1) was half-smiling as he activated his time-turner and disappeared.

"DAMMIT!" Moody yelled. He ran to the other room and pulled Lockhart to his feet, "You are going to give me some answers or I will rip them from your mind!"

"I had no choice. No choice. There's no choice. Never any choice. All a lie." Moody released him, and Lockhart collapsed into a sitting position, mumbling to himself.

"The dementor kissed him?"

Bahry shook his head, "I don't know. I was sure I stopped it in time. His dementor exposure should have been minimal."

Moody quickly checked Lockhart for polyjuice and possession. "You four, take him to St. Mungo's and keep him guarded. Have them check for metamorphmagus magic and see if they can figure out what's wrong with him. And get a legilimens in there to dig some information out of his head about what he's been doing. DAMMIT!"

* * *

Harry reached the end of the sink-tunnel and the beginning of a hallway. There was a table with a cauldron, glassware, and potions ingredients he recognized as those required for liquid luck. Luckily for him, the potion had clearly failed. The floor was littered with empty containers that he recognized as ingredients for polyjuice potion. Clearly Luna had directed him to the right place. He proceeded down the hallway.

Harry quickly took in the Chamber of Secrets. It was a relatively plain room other than for the massive statue. And the robed figure standing over what looked like a ten-foot long dead snake.

The figure turned to face him and drew back its hood, revealing a redheaded girl. "Oh, good, you got my message. We're long overdue for a real conversation. You have a certain reputation. We'll see if it's deserved. Let's start with something easy: have you deduced who I am?"

Harry just stared at Ginny for a moment in disbelief. She was holding a book with "Tom Marvolo Riddle" printed across the front in large letters. Finally he answered sarcastically, "Let me guess: something of a Riddle?"

Ginny hissed at him then angrily announced, "I am Lord Voldemort."

Harry chuckled, "I knew Voldemort, and you sir, are no Voldemort. Voldemort was one of the smartest people I've ever met. You may be above average by wizard standards of intelligence, but trust me, you're nothing special."

Ginny continued, "My name is actually an anagram of-"

"Marvolo isn't even your real middle name! I mean, it wasn't even the real Tom Riddle's real middle name. And why would you base your alter-ego on an anagram? Do you think anyone even cares about that? It's just dumb."

"If you use that muggle name again, you will regret it."

"Would you prefer Ginny Weasley?"

Ginny chuckled, "I've gotten quite skilled at playing that role. Though I'm mildly surprised you remember that name."

"I admit this is the first time I've seen Ginny do anything interesting."

Ginny chuckled again, "Fair point. On a somewhat related topic, what do you think about us collaborating on a project?"

"You recently killed several people. Including some who were useful and interesting. So you can understand that I'm not particularly inclined to help you with... what is it you want to do?"

Ginny smiled, "Become Minister of Magic and lead Wizarding Britain."

Harry shrugged, "Naturally. To quote my old defense professor, you are ambitious but you have no ambition."

"You think I'd tell you any plans of significance just because you asked?"

Harry shrugged and gestured at the snake, "You seem like the kind of person who would do something like that. Anyway, you're breeding basilisks. And using them to kill for you."

"Yes. That's all part of my master plan. Those students would have inevitably opposed me at critical times, so I had to eliminate them as soon as possible. I certainly didn't let the basilisk escape accidentally."

Harry's eyes widened for a second as he tried to calculate what level of deception that was, then replied, "That means you didn't just lose your temper and kill it. You intended to have a basilisk corpse over there because that's just your taste in interior decorating."

Ginny scowled at him, "Fine. I want the knowledge Slytherin's basilisk had. Creating my own basilisk was a small part of one possible plan for accomplishing that." Her expression lightened, "If you can contribute to that end, I will acknowledge your usefulness. Perhaps I'll even share some of the lost spells with you."

"Honestly, I am more than a little interested in getting those spells, but what exactly do you bring to the table in that arrangement?"

Ginny hissed, "I have far more experience with basilisks in general and Slytherin's basilisk specifically than anyone alive, including you, annoying child. I also have some memories of using some of the spells, so small hints may allow me to remember much more. What can you offer?"

Harry shrugged, "If you don't know, why are you asking for my help?"

Ginny looked angry for a moment, then smiled sweetly, "If you don't work with me, you'll never find Hermione."

"'Never' is a strong word. This place isn't _that_ big."

"I don't think you're taking me seriously. Don't you realize who I am?"

"I'm not and I do. You're a first-year witch who has absorbed some memories from a seventh-year wizard who was an egomaniac and a wannabe dark lord. You think you're Voldemort, but you don't don't have his battle magic skills or experience, you don't have his knowledge of magic or his magical power, you don't have his followers, and you don't have his intelligence. The only important thing seventh year Tom Riddle had done is kill someone to make that diary. That doesn't make you a dark lord or an evil genius, just a thug with an ego."

"I think you're trying to anger me into making a mistake. Not a bad tactic, but clumsily executed. And obviously, I'm younger than the Voldemort this world knows, but I have the same potential. My future will be even greater because I will gain the same powers without repeating his mistakes."

"You have no future. Ginny will go home to her family and you will cease to exist."

She giggled, "There is no Ginny. I obliviated every one of her memories except for a few I needed to fool her family and friends."

"Yeah, that's the lie I'd tell in your place."

She cast a bat-bogey hex at him, then announced, "You're testing my patience."

Harry let his robe reflect the hex, "I'm a scientist. I test everything."

"So be it. Diffindo." She cast the curse not at Harry, but at the ceiling above him, cracking it and causing several large stone blocks to fall. "Jellyfy." As Harry was running out of the way of the falling rocks, he slipped and hit the ground, continuing to slide forward. "Avada kedarvra." Ginny dropped to a knee from the magical drain, while the green curse flew out on course to intercept Harry.

Harry accelerated, flying along the ground and the curse entered the floor behind him.

Meanwhile, Ginny called out, " _Bassilissk, kill the intruder._ "

Harry ascended off of the floor, but landed awkwardly, " _Bassilissk, go back to ssleep._ " He kept his gaze down, but heard something large moving behind the statue. He then fired a series of somniums in Ginny's direction.

She raised a prismatic sphere. "Silly child, an inferius only obeys its creator's commands."

The large something was getting closer. "Do the eyes of basilisk inferi kill? Or does that magic stop when they die?" Harry fumbled with his pouch.

"That's something else we can investigate together. I'll be the researcher, and you can be the test subject. I think I'm starting to see the appeal of this 'science' thing."

Harry activated the deluminator and the room plunged into darkness as every light went out. He quietly said, "That's another point for you, Dumbledore." He then ascended toward the ceiling, cast ventriliquo, and pointed his wand at the floor below him.

Ginny giggled, "Even if my basilisk can't see you, it can still hear you."

"Snakes can't hear, moron, they only feel vibrations." Harry tapped his glasses with his wand to activate his newest set of charms, then muttered, "crap", when nothing happened.

"Then how do they respond to parseltongue, you idiot?" She cast a series of glisseos, trying to either find Harry or help the basilisk locate him.

"That's just a magical linguistic interface, not a sense snakes can actually use." Harry slapped his palm to his forehead. He ripped a strip of cloth from his robes and tied it into blindfold. Once sufficiently separated from the room with the active deluminator, his glasses lit up. It had taken half the year and ultimately Flitwick's map-drawing spell, but Harry finally had a decent way to see in the dark: his glasses emitted ultrasonic pulses and used the return signals to draw a depth map.

Harry almost screamed. The basilisk inferius was about 20 meters long and its head was less than 3 meters away. It sniffed the air, turned slightly and sniffed again, clearly zeroing in on Harry. He dropped quickly and flew to the other side of the room. He decided to use Ginny as a human shield, and slowly flew a few circles around her to leave a scent trail.

She yelled, " _I command you, sstrike now, sstupid ssnake!_ "

Harry watched the basilisk follow the path he'd flown, open its mouth and strike. The momentum drove Ginny's prismatic sphere backward into the wall. The snake backed up and prepared to strike again. Harry cast a shield-breaker which easily popped the overstressed shield, then cast a hover charm to rip the diary out of her hand and propel it onto one of the basilisk's fangs.

Ginny screamed and passed out. The basilisk fell to the ground, dead once again.


	22. Conclusion

Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath, Ch 22: Conclusion

* * *

Harry cast a stupify at Ginny to ensure she was unconscious. He put her wand in his pouch then searched her and found a backup wand. He partially transfigured part of the floor into handcuffs (still attached to the floor) and restrained her.

He used a hover charm to pull the diary from the basilisk's mouth, cast analytic spells until he was convinced that the venom had neutralized the magic, then put the diary into his pouch as well.

Harry tore a sheet of paper from a notebook and cast Flitwick's mapping spell with vitalis revelio. The paper exploded and fibers shot off in all directions, bouncing around corners and leaving the room. A moment later they returned equally quickly and formed a representation of the nearest few rooms. There were two red spots in the neighboring room.

When he stepped through the doorway, nothing was immediately visible. Harry brandished the elder wand and cast the most powerful finite incantatem he could manage. Hermione became visible and dropped to the ground as the transfigured chains holding her reverted. A large, bubbling cauldron also appeared on the floor nearby.

"Harry... I mean... thanks for the rescue, but you could have dispelled the disillusionment and reversed that transfiguration without cuttings my hands off." While talking, she jumped to her feet and kicked the cauldron over.

"I thought it best to make sure any booby traps were dispelled as quickly as possible." Harry stared at the smoking, pitted floor where the cauldron's contents had spilled.

Hermione, now mostly healed, reached into the cauldron and retrieved a gold egg speckled with red spots. "Fake Ginny knew about Crookshanks somehow, so when he came to rescue me, she trapped him in an acid bath. He burned up and regenerated as an egg. The egg hatched a few times but just burned up and turned back into an egg each time. And Ginny kept refilling the acid as it boiled away."

Harry started walking back toward Ginny. "That's actually a pretty smart way to neutrali- Crookshanks?"

"Yeah, I finally found a name my phoenix liked."

"Crookshanks?"

"What would you name a phoenix? Blood commando?"

Harry shrugged, "You must have really enjoyed that argument the first time if you want to have it again."

"Let's just get out of here. I don't suppose you know where my wand is?"

"Uh... yeah, I think I know where it is. I'm going to..." Harry pulled a mirror out of his pouch and opened it, "Mad-Eye, I'm in the Chamber, headed to an exit in the first floor girls' bathroom. I destroyed a horcrux, but Ginny Weasley had been possessed by it, so I need someone to guard her and take her to... wherever they treat this sort of thing. Also, Hermione is down here with me, conscious and unharmed. Harry out."

He put the mirror away, cast another stupify at Ginny, then cast a hover charm and moved toward the exit.

As they passed the potions table, Hermione stopped and looked over it. "Harry, my wand isn't here either."

"Hold on, I'm going to take Ginny upstairs. I'll be back in just a second." He hovered Ginny up the pipe and floated after her.

He set her on the ground, cast another stupify, then turned to go back down the tunnel. He was startled by Hermione standing behind him. "How did you-"

"I climbed up. Because I can do that."

"Oh." He levitated Ginny again, opened the door, and walked out into the hall.

Hermione followed him out, "Harry, stop. You've been acting distant and weird for months. What is going on?"

Harry froze for a moment. He tried to think of things that he would say to either Hermione or Voldemort pretending to be Hermione, "Well, you've been acting unusual too, you know."

"Whatever happened today doesn't count. You know that was her polyjuiced as me, right?"

"Well, yeah, _Everyone_ noticed 'you' acting strange today. But all year you've been, well, 'distant and weird' is a good description. You've barely been around except for classes and briefly at meals; what exactly have you been doing all year?"

"I was just working on a project. And don't think I haven't noticed that you changed the subject."

"I do do that sometimes but in this case I was acting weird around you because you were acting weird. And you know most of what I've been doing: I'm always busy working on stuff, like studying various aspects of magic and/or technology, trying to get a super-hospital running smoothly, or subtly puppet-mastering the national policy of wizarding Britain."

Hermione sighed, "I don't know how you do it. All the secrets you have to keep, all the pressure you're under from the things you're trying to do, and you come downstairs every day and keep being Harry like everything is normal. It's easier for me to play normal when the other students aren't looking at me, expecting me to talk to them."

Harry tried to quickly estimate how likely it would be that Voldemort's model of Hermione would say something like that, and concluded that Voldemort could use that excuse to avoid frequent social contact but would likely prioritize keeping informed and building relationships of possible future value. "Hermione, are you... maybe, depressed?"

"No." She sighed, "Well, maybe. Who wouldn't be? I mean, how are you okay?"

"I... I'm having some problems. I have to use a few sleeping charms to get a minimum healthy amount of sleep in a night anymore." Harry sighed, "I have to keep going anyway. Everything doesn't magically reset to the way it used to be just because the good guys win. That only happens in stories. In the real world, people experience traumas that may never fully heal and have to live with consequences. I'm not immune." Harry remembered something that he had to inform Voldemort about, and could potentially end the current situation peacefully, "Actually, one of the things that's been bothering me is that I found a serious problem in Voldemort's vow for me to not end the world: Dumbledore said that the world is prophesied to end, that it's inevitable, and that humanity can only survive if I'm the one who destroys it. But Voldemort's vow only lets me take that action if you agree, so you're a single point of failure for... everything. For example, if Voldemort or someone else possessed you, you'd no longer be my trusted friend and humans are doomed to extinction."

"Harry, you're being silly. From what you told me before, he didn't specifically name _me_ ; you can discuss those things with anyone you trust and consider a friend. So basically, you need to make more friends."

Harry smiled; he hadn't thought of that and considered it virtually impossible that Voldemort would suggest such a thing. Then he frowned, "The vow includes intent, and that was clearly not Voldemort's intent. It was your death that caused the apocalyptic prophesy he was trying to prevent."

"But Voldemort's intent wasn't relevant. He wasn't a participant in the vow ritual. The death eaters didn't know about the prophecy and wouldn't have been thinking about me. So it's only on you: is that what you intended?"

"I... I'll have to think about it."

"Wait, this isn't just hypothetical is it? Do you think I'm Voldemort now?" Her voice had risen until to almost a scream for the last question.

"Yeah, we thought you were possessed by Voldemort. It seemed like the best explanation at the time for your behavior and other stuff that was happening. Also, it makes sense that he'd want a super-powered host that I would trust."

She shuddered, "Well, I guess _that's_ something I have to look forward to." She suddenly scowled at him, and almost-yelled, "Dammit Harry, you just said that Voldemort revived me to avert a prophecy and that he revived me so he could possess me. Those can't both be true." She continued in a calmer voice, "If you assume both of those things, because they're contradictory, you can reach any conclusion by the principle of explosion. So of course you've been coming to the most ridiculously horrible conclusions you can think of."

"Well... Mad-eye also thought you were possessed. And the defense curse is at least partially responsible for anything dumb I've done this year."

"I bet Mad-eye has a list of reasons why Headmistress McGonagall is probably possessed by Voldemort. And why Hannah Abbott is probably possessed by Voldemort. There's a place where 'constant vigilance' becomes ridiculous, and I think Moody uses it as a summer home." She gave Harry a confused look, "And you are _not_ the defense professor."

Harry smiled, "I wonder- what are the odds that two weeks ago you'd have used Ginny instead of Hannah in that statement. And it turns out that it's not a defense curse in the strictest sense; it's just set up such that the people it affects correlate extremely well with defense professors. So if you're not secretly Voldemort, what is this secret project you've been spending all your time on?"

"Harry... I've read everything the library has on unicorns and trolls. And then read other stuff based on what I learned. Because I don't know what I am anymore. I don't think I'm even human now."

"Hermione, you're being silly. You're the same person as always, you just have super-human powers now. I'm pretty sure the hospital will be giving everyone those upgrades in maybe a decade."

Hermione growled and for a second, Harry was concerned that she was literally going to hurt him, "Is this 'silly'?"

Hermione walked over to a window, and put her hand outside. Harry watched her hand turn gray, as if the blood had drained from it. She then knocked on the wall, making a distinct stone-on-stone sound.

"My skin mineralizes in sunlight now. I can't go outside anymore. I had to wait for a blizzard for it to be safe enough. I've spent half the year reading books about dark creatures, trying to find the spell Voldemort used to protect his troll from sunlight. Just so I can maybe pretend to be normal and just do things that normal people do once in a while."

"That ca... I don't understand... I know I've seen you outside during the day before."

"It started after Azkaban. At first it was just like my joints were getting stiff but it got worse and I started avoiding direct sunlight. A week later, I went to the upper levels and tried to stand in front of a west-facing window shortly before sunset. I couldn't move away until the sun was mostly below the horizon."

"Let's think about this for a few minutes."

"Do you think I haven't done that?"

Harry ignored her comment, "Why would a troll turn into stone in sunlight? There must be a reason."

"Besides 'magic'? There isn't always a reason; sometimes magic just does weird things."

"There must be reasons. We just don't know what they are."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Maybe someone created trolls to be a weapon and wanted them to have a weakness in case they turned on him?"

"That doesn't make sense; the weakness would apply whether they were attacking hypothetical wizard's enemies or allies. And if he or she was using magic to protect them from sunlight, why not just require a spell to keep them functional regardless of the weather, like a magical dead-man switch. I think it's more likely a side-effect, like a magical allergy... Similarly, it's hard to imagine someone deliberately setting out to invent a spell that protected trolls turning to stone. It's more likely a spell used for some other purpose and troll day-walking is a side-effect."

"Maybe you're right, but I'm not sure how to search the library for spells that have a side-effect no one else cares about."

"You mentioned Azkaban. If we knew exactly what triggered it, that would be a useful clue. But you were exposed to a phoenix, dementors, and who knows what other magic at around the same time. Was there anything that seemed especially... I don't know, painful or hard to deal with? Or that had a lasting effect?"

"Lots of stuff was annoying, but I think the burns from the rocket launcher lasted longer than anything else."

"That's familiar: fire and acid... What mineral is it?"

"Really? It was like four months before I ran out of better leads than that. I think it's chert."

"That's interesting..."

"It's really not. It's a relatively common rock."

"No? Doesn't chert mean flint? Like, the stuff that's really hard and therefore the material of choice for stone age tools and producing sparks to start fires? The fire connection seems like it might have some potions-magic related significance."

"Okay, that... might be interesting."

"Fire and acid..."

"Harry?"

"Why would they slow a troll's healing process?"

"How quickly can _you_ heal when you're on fire?"

"That's kind of my point: I wouldn't. When most life is exposed to fire, cells are damaged and killed until they stop being exposed to fire. Troll healing is extremely fast compared to non-magical wound healing but it's not instant. In principle, if a fire is hot enough it should kill a troll's cells faster than it can regenerate them, and it should eventually die or even burn up completely. And if the fire isn't hot enough to kill a troll then the troll should regenerate cells more quickly than they're damaged, so the fire shouldn't do any noticeable damage. Same with acid, it should either progressively make troll-juice, or not do much at all. But that's not what happens. Instead, it just slows down the troll's healing."

"So something you believe is wrong. Namely, that... (the word hypothesis is probably being generous) you just made up."

"How does flint relate to acid?"

"Uh- it's like a type of quartz, and silicates are usually pretty acid resistant, I think. Unless it's hydrofluoric?"

"So it would actually be useful to have it over your skin if you were exposed to acid."

"Except for the obvious practical problems, you mean?"

"And I'd think pretty much any mineral would be better than skin against fire. What if it's purposeful? Like trolls transfigure a mineral layer when exposed to fire or acid to protect themselves from further damage, even though it delays their healing until the fire or acid is absent? Like a magical immune system?"

"You're about to suggest setting me on fire as an experiment, aren't you? I can tell because you still haven't given me back my wand."

"Oh, right." Harry absently retrieved two wands from his pouch and tossed them to her, "It's probably one of those. And that reminds me..." He turned and cast a stupify at Ginny.

Harry continued, "Ultraviolet light is ionizing radiation. It can damage DNA and kill cells; that's what a sunburn is. Maybe troll magic interprets a sunburn as close enough to a regular burn. An overreaction of a magical immune system analogous to an allergy."

Hermione sighed loudly, then pointed her wand at her other hand and cast incendio. "Huh. You may be right", she commented while tapping on the mineralized patch of skin that formed where the fire had impinged.

"Have you tried using the highest-powered sunscreen you can find?"

"No..."

"Or, there's probably a relatively common charm wizards use instead to keep from getting sunburned. That's probably what Voldemort used on the troll."

"I don't know whether to hug you or strangle you right now."

"I get that a lot. Also, as strong as you are, those really aren't mutually exclusive..."

* * *

Bones shook her head sadly, "This is all such a mess."

Moody looked pointedly at Harry, "Let this be a lesson: the next time you defeat a Voldemort mind-clone, just kill it. Everything is simpler before the damn bureaucrats get involved."

Harry sighed, "How was I supposed to know he was telling the truth about Ginny's... mind? identity? having being destroyed? No one else who touched the diary suffered permanent harm."

Moody continued staring at Harry, "We don't know that for sure. I believe I broke Ginny's occlumency barrier. I determined that she found the diary while snooping in her brother Ronald's room. After interrogating him, I concluded that someone passed it to him, but it ended up in a junk pile under his bed apparently without him having touched it or payed much attention to it at all. But he did have some memories of having seen it so at least that much of what I got from Ginny is likely to be true. So the likely explanation is that the diary passed from Lucius to Draco to Tracey to Daphne to Lavender to Ron to Ginny, but there's no way to be sure no one else was affected."

Hermione added, "I've been talking to students about what they saw. Lots of people remember Ginny having the diary, and carrying it with her regularly, since January. No one remembers seeing Draco with it at all, so he must have only used it when he was alone and had much less exposure than Ginny. The others only had the diary for a few hours. There wasn't time for what happened to her to have happened to anyone else."

Moody frowned at Hermione, "You're assuming duration is the only factor that's important."

McGonagall asked, "Isn't there some way to keep Ginny in DMLE custody until... I don't know, until someone decides she's safe to be around people?"

Bones groaned, "Her parents found out that she was at St. Mungo's and went to see her. Preventing a ministry department head from removing his child from custody when said child hasn't been formally accused of anything is... to be blunt, the first unanimous Wizengamot vote in history would be to remove the acting head Warlock."

McGonagall countered, "But she _killed_ people."

Bones sighed, "Legally, a basilisk killed people. We can't prove she created the basilisk, we can't prove that she controlled it, and even if she did, she was under the control of the diary at the time and can't be held responsible. All you can do is... be vigilant. Get some evidence of her doing something wrong so we can do something about it."

Moody added, "Or, you know, just _handle_ the situation before witnesses show up next time. It's a lot easier for the government to conveniently ignore lots of evidence than to do something without a mountain of paperwork."

Harry asked, "About the basilisk... why did Ginny/Riddle create one? What was the plan?"

"It was one of the most ridiculous plans I've ever heard. It's part of why I'm suspicious that she may have only pretended that her occlumency barrier failed. But if my information is correct, she was trying to create a horcrux for Slytherin's basilisk by hatching and sacrificing her own basilisk. Because she believed Slytherin's basilisk would share Interdicted spells with her. She had no idea whether it's possible to create a horcrux for a basilisk, to use the death of a basilisk to create a horcrux, to create a horcrux for an already dead body, to revive a dead body using a horcrux rather than possessing a live person, or even if all of that worked, whether the result would retain Interdicted information it had died with. She was trying to figure out how it would all work, but rushed ahead after her basilisk escaped and killed those students."

Harry exhaled slowly, "I believe Slytherin's basilisk is where Voldemort got much of his knowledge of Interdicted magic. I've been thinking about reviving it myself. Even after being dead for decades, it hasn't decomposed, so basilisks must be so toxic that even bacteria and fungi can't survive on them. Therefore its brain may still be intact. And I'm a parselmouth, so the danger of it killing anyone is negligible."

Everyone shouted variants of, "no, that's crazy."

Hermione added, "Harry, don't start creating new monsters. We already have enough problems to deal with."

Harry conceded, "Fine, I'll wait to bring it up again until we have fewer problems. Or an urgent need to learn Interdicted spells."

After a pause, McGonagall asked, "What about Lockhart? Was he kissed by a dementor, or can the healers do something to help him?"

"They can't help him. He never had liquid luck. He inherited an unregistered time-turner a few years ago. He'd been using it so he could invisibly watch dangerous situations first, then go back and act. So he always knew what was coming, what he had to do, and what he could get away with. And, understandably, he considered being Hogwarts defense professor dangerous, so he tried not to stay in the castle for more than six hours at a time. And if he hadn't spent an extra six hours in Brazil, he may have been able to use the same trick to avoid getting possessed."

Harry nodded, "That explains a lot. I wonder if everyone who claims to be able to brew 'liquid luck' is just covering up a secret time turner, like an advanced model spimster wicket."

Bones questioned, "And what happened to that horcrux?"

Moody sighed, "It flew away. Literally. Voldie drove Lockhart to the tower with the owls. He handed the Hufflepuff Cup to an owl and it took off. Lockhart was free from Voldie, but not from time. The last thing he'd seen before time-turning was a dementor advancing on his future self. He was compelled to walk into our trap, thinking he was going to die. He has a serious case of temporal psychosis. Really, what's surprising is that he didn't go nuts earlier with the way he was playing with time."

"So we'll add the Hufflepuff Cup to the ever-growing list of artifacts we have to track down. And presumably someone has obliviated Lockhart of Voldemort's memories?"

"That won't help temporal psychosis. And the cup doesn't seem to overwrite memories like the diary. It just takes over, leaving the victim aware of what's happening but unable to do anything about it."

Harry added, "That implies that the Cup is Voldemort's new type of horcrux. The diary was clearly the original type, presumably made while Riddle was still was a student. And that implies that Voldemort wasn't really obliviated, and you guys can destroy this-", Harry removed a ring and sat it on the table, "-at your convenience. His horcrux network has some defense against obliviation, either blocking that spell from traveling through the network, or leaving a backup occasionally in case something defeated the network. He would have been careful enough to leave such a backup before that night last year, and probably would have left it with Bellatrix. The bottom line is that Voldemort is still out there."

Moody nodded and picked up the ring.

Hermione asked, "Harry, you seem to be making a distinction between Voldemort and Tom Riddle. Aren't they the same person?"

Harry laughed humorlessly, "Yeah. By the way, you can probably take Ravenclaw's Diadem off your list of artifacts. I'm pretty sure I know what happened to it."

Bones looked surprised, "You know where it is?"

"Not exactly. If I had to guess, I'd say either the bottom of the ocean or deep underground. Or deep under the bottom of the ocean."

"That's not particularly helpful. Unless you think that means Voldemort will never get it?"

"I know I haven't actually interacted with young Tom Riddle, because it was always some Riddle personality merged with some of his host's personality, But there was enough of a pattern. Voldemort made a few comments about how he was stupid when he was younger and I had assumed he was talking about the standard process of learning and gathering experience that people do as they age, but after meeting his younger self, I realized it's something else. He was needlessly violent, had no self-control, spent little time planning, and was just... dumber. I think Draco-Riddle was significantly smarter than Ginny-Riddle, enough that I think Draco is smarter than original Tom Riddle was. And also, Voldemort once claimed that adding the resurrection stone to his horcrux network would allow him to possess people without requiring them to touch a horcrux. Either it didn't work out for him or he wants us to believe it didn't work, but the point is that his new horcrux spell allows him to use the magic of the objects he horcruxes.

"Therefore, I think Riddle found Ravenclaw's Diadem. And rather than just putting a standard horcrux (which would overwrite anyone who tried to use it) he decided to use it for himself. He wanted to be truly immortal, and found the old horcrux spell inadequate because of the merging effect and the loss of Interdicted knowledge. And he would've wanted to find a way to ensure he'd always be able to use the Diadem. The advanced horcrux spell he invented solved both problems: he was permanently linked to his new horcruxen so they updated their copy of his memories and kept his consciousness alive, and by making the Diadem a horcrux, he remained permanently linked to it as well. We don't urgently have to keep it away from him because he's effectively never taken it off. And that's why I make a distinction between pre-Diadem Tom Riddle and post-Diadem Dark Lord Voldemort. This year the later operated invisibly, mostly planting remote sensing devices to watch us, while the former was actively trying to obtain power and become Voldemort."

Hermione looked concerned, "Um, Harry, what about you? Does that mean we can't kill Voldemort without you getting dumber? And being unable to do world-saving stuff?"

"I've never been linked to the horcrux network. He created a basic horcrux on me while he was linked to the Diadem. I believe I got a permanent copy of that effect: just like a portrait of a confunded person stays confunded, a horcrux of a Diadem-using person retains that ability."

Moody asked, "Isn't that academic? You don't have a way to actually find and destroy all of his horcruxen, right?"

Harry started casting privacy spells. After 15, he asked Moody to cast as many more as possible. While Moody complied, Harry cast the wide-area confundus detector.

After he was satisfied that everything was safe, Harry replied, "I think Luna can find them. I don't think Voldemort knows that or she wouldn't still be alive."

Hermione sighed, "Not this again. Harry, she's not a seer. She's said some things that were surprising or coincidental, that's all."

Harry shook his head, "You're half-right. She was never a seer, but she has a sense we don't. I suspect that her mother died trying to remove a horcrux spell from something, and it resulted in Luna being able to see through the horcrux network. Everything she's seen or known is something she could've seen through a horcrux or something Voldemort would've been spying on himself."

"And what evidence do you have for that?"

"I'll admit it's mostly circumstantial..."

Hermione nodded and smiled.

"Except for one thing..."

Her smile faded.

"I got some of the details that I didn't hear originally about her mystery star that can't be seen in the Hogwarts' night sky. It's the sun... as seen from Pioneer 11."

* * *

As they walked down another flight of stairs, Harry glanced out the window. "Why is it snowing outside? It's June!"

Moody smirked, "You're asking me? I was going to ask for your theory."

"Fair enough. I wonder what would happen if I flew outside and looked back at the castle."

"I don't know but I'd recommend against it. Is this the highest you've ever been in Hogwarts?"

"Probably. I can't see the ground anymore through the snow, so this is probably high enough. Let's set up on this floor. Fawkes?"

The phoenix cawed and burned away. He quickly returned with a few of the healers Moody had recruited. A second later, Crookshanks arrived with Hermione and the rest of the healers.

"So no problems getting here, I take it?", Harry asked Hermione.

She shook her head, "I don't know how it works, but they can either follow each other or communicate a destination somehow."

Harry addressed the healers, "I'm going to teach you all a new healing spell today-"

Someone interrupted him, "Mad-eye, did you bring us here to be lectured by a ten-year-old?"

Moody scoffed, "I brought you here because this place is now more secure than Azkaban ever was. Phoenix travel is the only way in, and phoenix or portkey are the only ways out. I'm thinking that time here isn't even synchronized with the rest of the world. Anyway, have fun." He triggered a portkey and was teleported back to the empty hospital front at the edge of the Hogwarts grounds.

Harry continued, "I probably should have asked earlier; can any of you cast a patronus?"

They looked at him skeptically, but shook their heads.

"I'm not surprised."

"What's that supposed to mean? You don't think healers can be good or happy people?"

"Nothing like that; let's go over the wand movements..."

A short time later, Harry was satisfied, "Everything I'm about to tell you is covered under your non-disclosure oaths. Dementors are a magical representation of death and animal patroni represent a kind of immunity-by-ignorance to the fear of death. Healers are regularly confronted with death, so it doesn't surprise me that you can't just forget about it with happy thoughts. There is a stronger patronus charm which is powered not by hiding from death but by defiantly confronting it, and that's the form you will all need to learn."

The healers appeared skeptical, but they were listening carefully. Harry un-transfigured a stretcher, then took a coin from his pouch, placed it on the stretcher and un-transfigured it as well. It was Cedric's corpse.

The healers stepped forward, casting analytic charms. One stated the obvious, "He's dead."

Harry continued, "Yeah, a basilisk killed several students this week... The mission of this hospital isn't merely to heal the sick and injured. It's not even to heal people who can't be healed anywhere else. Its mission is nothing less than to defeat death. We aren't done until no one dies ever again. So we're going to revive them. Pay close attention; I suspect this moment will be your patronus-powering-happy-thought for the near future."

Harry got into the patronus charm starting stance. Fawkes flew over, perched on his left shoulder, and screeched confidently. Harry moved his wand, then shouted, "Expecto patronum!". Cedric lit up from inside. Harry could feel... life flow from Fawkes through himself and into his wand.

Again, the healers stepped forward.

"He's breathing."

"His heart rate is 50 beats per minute and climbing."

"His internal temperature is rising fast."

Harry interrupted, "We have 5 more students and even more aurors from Bellatrix's attack. We may not be able to revive all of them... today. But it's a step forward."

* * *

The esteemed members of the Wizengamot were bickering as usual.

"An institution that exists solely to help people, healed dozens of presumed-dead aurors, and you want to destroy it with bureaucracy. What the hell is wrong with you?", Ogden demanded angrily.

Umbridge smiled, "With all due respect, I don't think you realize how improper it is to have an organization that powerful working independently of the Ministry. Would they even obey the orders of the Wizengamot? Other countries are starting to contact them. It's undermining our foreign policy."

"I never thought I'd see the day", Harry began. "I've mostly only read about you, of course, but it's a day for the history books when you and the Goblin Nation are on the same side of an issue. People may expect a kid like me to be afraid of a goblin army, but I thought you'd be all 'let them come, we've put down rebellions before and will do it as often as they make us.'"

Umbridge turned toward him and sputtered for a few seconds.

Harry began again "Or is it something else? Would you support the hospital if they were willing to fix that human-toad thing you've been cursed with?"

A large portion of the Wizengamot, an organization known for its pretense of dignity and solemnity, erupted in a very undignified laughing fit.

As the laughter died down, Harry spoke again, "Weren't we going to talk about werewolves today?"

Someone nearby replied, "Oh, no. That was just added to the schedule a few days ago. We won't get to it for weeks."

Someone else added, "We should really talk about the goblins. We need to find out what they have against a wizard hospital and then decide how many of them we have to kill to make a point..."

Harry had a flash of regret, not for the first time, that he hadn't cleaned out the governing body with a dementor when he'd had the chance.

* * *

"Harry! I was hoping I'd find you after the Wizengamot meeting was finished."

Harry's thoughts could best be summarized as a resigned, "Oh, crap." It was Arthur Weasley. Harry turned to face him.

Arthur continued, "Thank you so much for saving my daughter. If there's anything I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask."

"Um... I was told that I was too late..."

"Nonsense. I know my daughter. She's been through a lot but she's already mostly back to her old self. All she needed was some time back with her family."

Harry attempted to find an expression more appropriate than a blank stare, but was unable to think of anything appropriate other than 'totally horrified'.

Arthur continued, "In fact, I think you should come back to my house to dinner to meet my family. I mean, you know most of us already, so I guess, just meet Molly. And I have lots of muggle artifacts that I'm sure you'll find interesting. I insist!"

After more time during which Arthur said irrelevant things and Harry was unable to tell the man he was harboring a monster in his home, Harry found himself flooing to the Weasley home.

Ron scowled at Harry, "What's _he_ doing here?"

"Manners, Ron!" Arthur chastised. "Where's your mother?"

Ron shrugged, "Everyone else went... I don't remember. It wasn't Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade. They would have been fun."

Arthur pulled a calculator from his robes and began tapping at it. "Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry. It's not working. I swear this hasn't not worked here in years. Not since my son Bill still lived here."

Ron frowned, "I remember that summer. Bill didn't play with us at all because of that arithmancy tutor. He spent the whole summer at the kitchen table doing homework so he could take the second year arithmancy elective with his friends. And you spent the whole summer complaining about things not working."

Harry looked down at his pouch, "I do have an arithmancy book with me. Maybe it matters."

Arthur shrugged, "Try putting it in Bill's room, and we'll see what happens."

As Harry walked to the stairs, Ron got up and followed him, quietly warning, "You'd better not try anything. I'm onto you." Harry rolled his eyes.

As they reached the second landing, Arthur called, "It works now!"

Harry set the pouch on the stairs, and he and Ron began descending again. Arthur called out, "now it's off again."

Harry backtracked and Ron followed.

Harry thought for a moment. "Ron, walk about halfway down the stairs. We have to determine if it's you or me or both."

Ron scowled, "Of course it's you." But he turned and took a few steps down. While his back was turned, Harry pulled the Elder Wand out of his robes and put it into the pouch.

Ron called, "Dad, it's still working, right?"

"Yes."

Ron turned back to Harry, "Told you."

Harry shrugged and walked toward him, "How about now?"

"It's still on."

Harry pushed past Ron and ran back to the kitchen. He typed a calculation into the device to confirm the result and exclaimed, "This is big! What's the fastest way to the ministry?" He ran back up the stairs to retrieve his pouch.

Arthur asked, "I don't... You want to talk to Minister Fudge? I don't know if this is something he'd be interested in, but I could introduce you..."

While running back, Harry replied, "No, I have to tell Chief Warlock Bones about this."

* * *

"You requested an urgent meeting, Mr. Potter?", Bones asked, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

"We just made an important discovery. You know how muggle technology doesn't work at Hogwarts?"

"Yes, and I know how obsessed you are with that stuff-"

"It's not all magic; technology only seems to be affected by objects and texts covered by Merlin's Interdict!"

"Oh...", Bones straightened in her chair, giving them her full attention. "So muggle devices can be used to determine whether something is genuinely Interdicted or a forgery? Or determine if something valuable is nearby?" Harry had started nodding while Bone was talking. She continued, "How close do they have to get? Is it the same for all muggle devices? Is there a way to include a point-me spell?"

"Those are questions that it would be a very good idea to find answers for. I suspect some things, like cameras with telephoto lenses or laser range-finders or parabolic microphones may experience a directional effect at longer ranges, but that will require some-"

"Right. Mr. Weasley, I'm going to have Fudge assign additional personnel to your department to take over... your department's usual functions, so you can make this your highest priority. Do you understand what's required of you?"

Arthur stared forward, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled for a sentence.

After a pause, Bones continued, "Well, feel free to address any questions to Mr. Potter. And make an appointment as soon as you have something the aurors or unspeakables can field test." After another pause, she added, "Was there anything else?"

Arthur shook his head and backed out the door. Harry met Bones' eyes and inclined his head slightly.

Outside the office, Arthur still had a slight deer-in-headlights look. Ron inquired, "What happened in there?"

"Uh, I'm not totally sure, but I think I got promoted."

Inside the office, Bones stared at Harry, "What else do you need, Mr. Potter?"

"I know you've studied a lot of old texts looking for forgotten magic. I assume you're familiar with the pattern of spells having a second and more powerful hidden version?"

Bones nodded slowly, "I'd ask how _you_ know that, but I suppose it's one of those many things Voldemort managed to tell you during those brief hours you were with him?"

"Have you ever heard of a second level fidelius charm? A confundus that, rather than hiding a specific, relatively small area from detection, can hide information? For example, the instructions to a spell? And is powerful enough to cover the whole world?"

Bones smiled slightly, "The first person wise enough to discover such a spell would likely use it to hide knowledge of itself. What would be written down?" Her smile faded and her eyes widened, "You think it was Merlin. A higher level fidelius that blurs information unless a secret keeper gives one the secret. One living mind to another. It does fit."

"If someone tries to use a spell to copy an Interdicted text, is it copied, or does the spell fail to produce anything useful?"

"There are spells that can copy Interdicted texts, but both texts remain Interdicted."

"Does it matter whether the person casting the copying spell has the secret or not?"

"At the DMLE, I've seen copies of things in evidence that I could read and know that the aurors who made the copies could not. It's not a transfer of information to a living mind."

"Merlin knew. That's the only explanation. The disruption of technology isn't an accident or side-effect of something else. It's a deliberate part of Merlin's Interdict. That makes the pattern obvious: only technology capable of storing or transmitting information is affected in order to prevent it from storing or transmitting Interdicted information. That's why I could transfigure working calculator circuits but a commercial calculator didn't work: I made a calculator that used combinatorial logic while everyone else makes sequential logic calculators. You type a number and it has to store it while you type another number. It explains why radio receivers work but not transmitters. Centuries earlier than everyone else, Merlin knew that muggles would develop technology that could break his Interdict unless he took steps to prevent it."

Harry's face took on a look of determination, "I don't know how to break the Interdict of Merlin, but for the first time, I know something about what that solution will look like."


End file.
